JAB PR KIYA TOH DARNA KYAA?..............
As the Sun enters the Makar zodiac and we get set to celebrate Uttaryan, a lot of Surti Lalas will be breaking into sweat. Not at the fear of kite flying dearies, it’s a big day for PR.
Surtis celebrate all festivals with much aplomb. Well known to be superb hosts, with gourmet meals being a part of even their daily lifestyle, festivals give Surtis an official reason to please the boss.
For the simple Surtis, festivals are the best time and excuse for enhancing their PR with the Saab log. So, the good old straightforward ones will be having over managers, officers or seniors at home for a Ponk and Patang party. Spirits will soar at these happy family affairs, where laymen and collars will mingle to enjoy the January chill with kite flying thrills. This is basic Surti culture at its best.
Ever since the migrants settled in Surat, PR took a different turn altogether. Soon, Surat was well known to be high on every transfer wish list. Not surprisingly so, after all babus are gods here. From dyeing and printing masters at mills to CEO’s of companies, all are pleased.
In the past, when Excise was a duty levied on textile, it was a routine for many in the trade to go all out and please men who mattered .As atrocious as it may sound, from coriander to brown bread, hot Jalebis to imli chutneys, any and everything would be home delivered in a bid to please the babu’s madam at home!
Ahem...highly placed sources also claim that flooring, furniture and gardens would get an instant makeover at living quarters if the new madam did not approve of it. Rumours would then run rife as to which biggie had sponsored the same. Following some Algebra rule of keeping A happy automatically makes B see on your side or something on that line.
In cities like Delhi, everybody claims to know everybody else but in Surat, only a chosen few are allowed in the inner circle. As times have changed, PR is now carried out via one’s P.A., CA, or in many cases, a professional negotiator with communication skills is appointed exclusively for handling this task. Not to mention a chauffeur driven car, this always remains on ‘vardi’meaning at the service of the Saab or rather in many cases, his memsaab.
Diamond sets, gold jewellery, silvery crockery, Scotch bottles and electronic gadgets are a thing of the past. With changing times maybe real estate and property will seem to be the in thing .Diwali is no longer the only time to give gifts. In Tapi town, the pampering is constant and it is unending. Snooty socialites, who would otherwise care tuppence to converse decently, go all polite and pally to please on occasions as these. The babu log see through all the farce and have the last laugh.
No one knows to date whether or not this entire PR theory actually matters at all and if it makes a big difference. In many cases, it just means having a longer phone book than most others. What it does do is make the mediator feel powerful [fool?] thinking he can get things done. Maybe it gives him security of knowing’ topis’[it’s a male thing, they say],maybe it makes him hopeful that in times of trouble or an emergency, he will have someone to fall back upon and bail him out [ or so he thinks]. That dearies, then is the exact reason that makes our insecure Lalas sing confidently-
Jab PR kiya, toh darna kyaa? PR kiya koi chori nahi ki...................
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What do we call the big turnout of the nation’s business magnates at Vibrant Gujarat? –‘Flash of the Titans.’

BEEDI JALAYLE JI GHAR SE PIYA.............
Homemakers around the country better spruce up their singing skills to render sunidhi’s sultry number with a twist. With the ban on smoking in public places now implemented what better place for the guys to smoke, than at home? But then again, that’s one place most of them usually don’t so its catch 22.
A man and his beedi is private stuff that most men love to perform publicly. The vice it seems is generally developed at a young age when visual fascination by an elder blowing up smoke seems like magic. Then comes the stage of excitement when one has learnt to smoke and can show off. Later it turns into a habit as a stress buster and ultimately turns into a weapon to fight depression, or so one feels.
Smoking like most other vices has great visual appeal, therefore a lot of people think that what you don’t see, you cannot develop. Now that the opportunity is not available, the going is tough for the puff to get going. Many women are happy since the men now have to hide too!
Some brainy businessmen are thinking of putting up a proposal for a ‘sulabh suttachalay’ next to the pee booths by similar name because a man’s gotta go when he’s gotta go they say.
Some dread the thought of the fine ,more so because they now think they will have to pay up girlfriends, wives and moms,everytime they put the butt to mouth.
So called Eco-friendly waste management plants are planning to begin party plots at their sites for smokers where smokers can feel free to blow and put ashes to ashes and dust to dust.
Car companies are very excited about the fact that their product can now be advertised as a smoking zone, till now, people used cars for other fun things .A special smoke screen glass is rumoured to be designed for the fancy upgraded versions.
Smoking zones in hotels are causing space constraint to the same, previously it was just eyewash, all they had to do is put up tags stating ‘non smoking’ and ‘smoking ‘sections, never mind if it blew all around, now they need to make an effort put up a cabin for the purpose.
Doctors, Surgeons, Heart specialists, Mouth freshener manufacturers, chewing gum companies, and saunf supari dealers are all under pressure. They say if the present generation and ones to come after them voluntarily give up smoking and decide to abide by the health route, the crowd above will need to close shop and be out of business.
Government might add new taxes in wake of the loss that will be occurred by the revenue ciggie companies paid up.
Writers, sleuths and self made Sherlocks are coming up with bright new ideas as think tanks for cigarette manufacturers to lure the lost crowd.
Ramadossji might as well be appointed the next finance minister since in this age of pink slips; his one move has generated a whole load of new jobs.
Gujarat government is observing the prohibition week, not booze, silly, its smoke!
Last heard, plans to accuse Bush of spreading so much smoke around the world in the name of anti terrorism were being made. For all you know, we might give him a ‘tadipar’ from our smoke free state for sure.