BOOTLEGGING AND BOOKLEGGING..............
Now that Gin, Jinnah and Johnny walker have been banned from striding into Gujarat, the prohibition act will need fresh amendments. It’s not Fanaa....err funny.

If Union minister for micro enterprises in the state-Dinsha Patel is accusing Modi of trying to gain ‘cheap publicity’ by banning book only in Gujarat and that Sardar being a national hero, it should be banned in the entire country, then, isn’t Bapu also the father of the nation? We really need to rethink our booze book prohibition acts.

Jaswantji is now getting back by singing Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s,’Mujhse pehli si mohobbat mere mehboob na maang, maine samjha tha ke tu hai toh darakshaan hai hayat, tera gham hai toh gham-e- dahr ka jhagda kyaa hai..... to Advaniji, looks like the lotus is in for a mucky mudslinging session ahead.

Meanwhile, Surtis are excited by this new prohibition. Shady stories are doing the rounds as to how book legging will be the next big business in Gujarat. With the Mallya impressed desi king of gud times, Dagri now absconding, a new breed of entrpeuners may arise.

Saturday evening, I got a hush hush sms from a very rich and very spoilt friend of mine. It read’U R invited to a Surti smuggling- Pirates of the Arabian party, B there or B square!’Luckily, it had no eye patch dress code mentioned and so I decided to give it a shot.

The previous ‘pirates of the Arabian’ that Surat has ever experienced was in the 17th century, when Captain Thomas Best defeated the Portuguese at the battle of Swally [now Suvali] and thus was born the Indian navy, formerly known as The Honourable East India Company’s Marine.

Our government still follows a futile custom of keeping the excise and customs officers on a special night duty to watch out for smugglers who might enter through the silted Tapi river, whats more, it even pays the officers involved overtime.So,I was wondering what the theme in question was about...
Upon reaching the party, I was pleasantly surprised by the invitees. Instead of the usual snooty socialites, were serious looking gentlemen sitting in a semi circle, involved in deep conversation.
Harish Upadhiwala, the well known lawyer [now on strike] stated, ‘This is a very serious matter, you may read it online, get it couriered via an N.R.I, get it faxed by a friend from Mumbai ,have it read out by your relative in Delhi, but if you are caught, you will be in jail.

Munnabhai MBBS fumed,’Bapu ne kaha tha ,independant raho,a phir bhi ye Gujaratwalo ko booze aur books dono ke liye dusre sheher pe dependant rehna padta hai! Abhi Sardar Patelji kaun they malum pada.Bole toh picture bananeyka.

Raman Batlo smirked,’ema hun! Chopri ni upar batli, batli ni upar chopri .santadiney lavani.’
Upon which my friend said,’ Forget it guys; I have decided to just call the honourable C.M., to lend me his copy, which he read and decided to ban the book.

Tapi town tattle-Pokhran -2 =sursuriyu?

BUDDY BATEIN, BOLLYWOOD ISHTYLE......................
Take a look at your right wrist......if there is no smiley face, bright band or fancy dangler there, then you have been a fuddy duddy and missed ‘Friendship day.’

The westernised version of Krishna Sudama bonding is now marketed with such euphoria that it swept Surat with friendship fervour.

The young and the young at heart of Tapi town celebrated ‘dosti day’ with much chutzpah. In true Surti spirit, everyone was expressing ‘yaaron dosti badi he haseen hai’ in their own ishtyle, with related Bollywood numbers-

The biker gangs braved crater ridden Surti streets and va va vroomed on their mean machines singing ‘Yeh dosti hum nahi todengey, todengey dum magar tera saath na chhodengey’,though the models of their two wheelers are fancier than the one in Sholay,the depth of their feelings was as strong, if not stronger.

Salesmen at various stores organised the Sale season to coincide with the celebration and were heard singing out,’humse tum dosti karlo, yeh haseen galati karlo’, tempting shopaholics with their wares and wears. Inviting them to come and blow off their budget, for bargains that sounded too good to be true.

Our happy and gay crowd spent a serene evening at their usual hangout behind Gandhibaug. As they held hands on the riverside benches and looked out at the Tapi, they soulfully sang,’baney chahey dushman zamaana yeh saara, salamat rahey dostana hamara,’oblivious to the outer world, cocooned in their own.

Rich and flamboyant Surtis were seeing wooing and promising their pretty young friends,’aaja inn hawao mein uthake ley chalu tuh he toh meri dost hai,’with the promise of a Rs. 24 lakh membership for 200 hours of flying a Cessna, at the flying club that is soon to begin at Surat’s airport. Never mind if the club does not take off in future, at least their friendship will, for now.

The ‘Hic! Happy’brigade paid no attention to the hooch tragedy and celebrated the day in high spirits as usual, gloriously singing aloud,’jahaan char yaar mil jaye wahi raat ho gulzar, mehfil rangeen jame’,since it was a Sunday, it was easy to mingle into the crowd without raising eyebrows of doubt.

Hooch makers in the meanwhile are trying their best to cajole authorities to renew old friendship by hopefully humming,’kehdo ke tum mujhse dosti karogey, kehdo keh tum mere dil mein rahogey,’unfortunately for them,the next line in the song goes,’dekhungi,sochungi ,kal parso jawab dungi,’ and the team in question seems to be answering just that.

The first Sunday of August has been a harbinger of the festive times ahead. Surtis celebrated yesterday with colourful thread bands, plastic rings, diamond studded anklets, platinum bracelets, gold necklaces, yellow flowers, delicious chocolates and the works.

If you missed out on doing the same yesterday, DO NOT try to do it today, a trendy teen has informed me that today is enemy day, a day to sing ’dushman na karey dost ne woh kaam kiya hai.’

Tapi town tattle-Return of the tax filing frenzy.