OCTOPUS ORACLES –Why Paul should pick India.

Now that Paul’s pappu has been passed, following Joachim Loew’s labour lost, Germany for certain would want nothing to have to do with its prized celebrity, once a soothsayer, now a tentacled terror.

With his prediction for a Spain win itself, this prophet’s fate was sealed. In a catch 22 situation, he was all set to be fried, had his choice of clam been proven wrong.

Had they emerged winners, maybe the German’s would have spared him out of joy, maybe not. Fact remains though, that it’s ‘suddenly Paul’ season.

While my animal lover friend from Bangalore sent a text to join the ‘save Paul and adopt him as a pet ‘campaign, I hear animal rights activists want to know if Paul is getting his dues along with all the undue media attention. They also want to know who will be handling the international star’s Face book and Twitter accounts, lest his feelings are hurt.

Unlike the Euro 2008, where a partial Paul had wrongly predicted Germany to win against the same opponent -Spain, but the latter had conceded a win, co incidentally by the same stats-1-0; Paul’s predictions have scored a straight 6 on 6 this FIFA 2010 season.

Needless to say, with a 100% record like that, this octopus‘s face value is far more than that of Joachim’s unwashed Blue tee, which, as we all know is sure to raise a stink now.

With no real particular football stars living upto their image as spectacular sportsmen this world cup, seems like this eight legged invertebrate might just end up laughing all the way to the tank, in his bubbly spirit.

Last heard, Gujarat’s great gambler-Gaman Aekko (alias aflatoon’s) call was intercepted while he was having a quick word with Mumbai’s bookie Galabhai Shana. They were in a heated discussion regarding when they should put up an on line bid for Paul the player.

Word in the ‘shhh circle’ is that talks are on between our top international khiladi (no relation to Lalit Modi, mind you) and Germany to lower boxes that contain a flag of India and Germany each with some fine food fare in Paul’s think tank and watch the one that Paul picks.

In a country where yagnas are held for a cricket match win, parrot card readers predict fall of governments, and multi coloured stones enhance star value, Paul seems to be on the hot list of all punters.

The crawly psychic can choose our motherland and live the life of a prince, to be pampered for life. We might rename him Sant shri Pappu baba, have a temple in his name and even get him a missus on the side-an ‘octopussy ‘, so to say, a la Bond .( Paul was born a British)

Or, he could choose his fatherland and end up as the ultimate German gourmet meal. Just like the fate of the Germans in FIFA this year, either which way, the choice is his.

So, what say Paul? Are you game?

SUMMER TEMPEST

They say when you have nothing else to write about, write about the weather, so, when we were under the Phet threat, this column was poised to read otherwise.

Thankfully, hurricanes have a mind of their own and are vagabond travelers with no particular route or destination in mind hence our shores were spared.

Despite the wanton change of weather plans however, mini hurricanes hit Surtis due to different individuals and issues that gave reason to Tapi towners to tattle. Hungary’s hunger and Hatoyama’s sayonara did not make it to the top list .the ones which did were-

Javier jalapeño Spanish writer Javier Moro may lack knowledge on how to drape a sari; but Surti lalas are on a desperate lookout for him .They want to request exclusive rights of patent to recreate his ‘Red Sari’. Lalas who have no clue about the writer’s past books like “Five past midnight in Bhopal’ on India’s worst apocalypse or ‘The Jaipur foot’-a man’s ability to overcome tragedy ,think that Surti versions of Moro’s red sari might just be the next big hit design after ‘Ghajini’. Meanwhile a representative of the hand that rules the country has served a notice to Javier who is protesting ‘tujhko mirchi lagi toh mein kyaa karu?’

Tambu mein gabhrahat An architectural wonder, the air-conditioned, gigantic, pillar less dome at Surat International Exhibition and Convention Centre (SIECC) was built with the purpose of providing ‘international standard facilities ‘for building better business and trade relations. But, Surat’s crème de la crème have been using it as the ‘in’ wedding venue of the season. Surat’s new, wow wedding vows venue observed a ‘vavajhodu’ (Surti for hurricane) when over a lakh wedding guests turned up to bless a parliamentarian’s blessed daughter. All roads led to Sarsana as people wanted to be in the ‘been there done that’ list.

Deedar ae Drogba While ‘it ‘couples in Surat are set to sail shores and attend Football 2010 worldcup, Ivory Coast’s ace foot is nursing an injured elbow.In a warm up match against Japan that might now cost host country South Africa a precious blow, ace striker Didier Drogba has been declared injured and unfit for FIFA 2010.Although over 20 million fans worldwide are crestfallen, Surtis are in top spirits since they will be sporting colourful tees representing all countries and would rather sight fancy film stars from Hollywood than ferocious footballers .

Limca book of records In a record event that has our extremely alert police in a puzzle, a 2 litre, Surti Limca bottle is on its way to become part of, well ‘Limca book of records’! The record breaking bottle filled with Vodka, discovered by a surprise raid squad, mysteriously found its way into the Surat sub jail, near ward number 4, which is present home to a few high profile law breakers. Of course, now that the unique bottle has been sent to the efficient forensic science department ‘results may vary ‘and we may not have a winner on our hands.Jalsa loving Surtis are, however celebrating with Hic!hic!hurrah in dry state’s rare, amazing discovery.

Thus, while the country dealt with the IPL- ‘I appeal ,yell ‘ hurricane and the state had ‘Charcha Nehru ‘to deal with, Surtis were busy with their own set of summer tempests.

Tapi town tattle Nuts over Mr.Natwarlal.