BOOTLEGGING AND BOOKLEGGING..............
Now that Gin, Jinnah and Johnny walker have been banned from striding into Gujarat, the prohibition act will need fresh amendments. It’s not Fanaa....err funny.
If Union minister for micro enterprises in the state-Dinsha Patel is accusing Modi of trying to gain ‘cheap publicity’ by banning book only in Gujarat and that Sardar being a national hero, it should be banned in the entire country, then, isn’t Bapu also the father of the nation? We really need to rethink our booze book prohibition acts.
Jaswantji is now getting back by singing Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s,’Mujhse pehli si mohobbat mere mehboob na maang, maine samjha tha ke tu hai toh darakshaan hai hayat, tera gham hai toh gham-e- dahr ka jhagda kyaa hai..... to Advaniji, looks like the lotus is in for a mucky mudslinging session ahead.
Meanwhile, Surtis are excited by this new prohibition. Shady stories are doing the rounds as to how book legging will be the next big business in Gujarat. With the Mallya impressed desi king of gud times, Dagri now absconding, a new breed of entrpeuners may arise.
Saturday evening, I got a hush hush sms from a very rich and very spoilt friend of mine. It read’U R invited to a Surti smuggling- Pirates of the Arabian party, B there or B square!’Luckily, it had no eye patch dress code mentioned and so I decided to give it a shot.
The previous ‘pirates of the Arabian’ that Surat has ever experienced was in the 17th century, when Captain Thomas Best defeated the Portuguese at the battle of Swally [now Suvali] and thus was born the Indian navy, formerly known as The Honourable East India Company’s Marine.
Our government still follows a futile custom of keeping the excise and customs officers on a special night duty to watch out for smugglers who might enter through the silted Tapi river, whats more, it even pays the officers involved overtime.So,I was wondering what the theme in question was about...
Upon reaching the party, I was pleasantly surprised by the invitees. Instead of the usual snooty socialites, were serious looking gentlemen sitting in a semi circle, involved in deep conversation.
Harish Upadhiwala, the well known lawyer [now on strike] stated, ‘This is a very serious matter, you may read it online, get it couriered via an N.R.I, get it faxed by a friend from Mumbai ,have it read out by your relative in Delhi, but if you are caught, you will be in jail.
Munnabhai MBBS fumed,’Bapu ne kaha tha ,independant raho,a phir bhi ye Gujaratwalo ko booze aur books dono ke liye dusre sheher pe dependant rehna padta hai! Abhi Sardar Patelji kaun they malum pada.Bole toh picture bananeyka.
Raman Batlo smirked,’ema hun! Chopri ni upar batli, batli ni upar chopri .santadiney lavani.’
Upon which my friend said,’ Forget it guys; I have decided to just call the honourable C.M., to lend me his copy, which he read and decided to ban the book.
Tapi town tattle-Pokhran -2 =sursuriyu?
Showing posts with label credit cards.surat surat trends.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label credit cards.surat surat trends.. Show all posts
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, January 26, 2008
THE COLOUR OF MONEY IS BLACK AND WHITE, HONEY!
Last year, a guest from Mumbai, was shocked out of his bank balance! Here’s why-- He purchased a television for his parents from a prominent electronic store in Surat and the shop keeper said,’ Sorry sir, we do not have a credit card machine!’ ‘What kind of money do you people carry around here?’ he asked me amazed because the said television model was for an amount that ran in five high figures.’ The black kind’, I answered jokingly, but turns out that it’s true! Solid Surtis are always Liquid cash rich-here is why-
Surat-The land of the Lalas, always has been associated with Diamonds, Textiles, Property and Trade. Money talks here and how!’Maal=Golmaal’ everything is available here if you can afford the tag, School admissions and top official ranks, licence for thrills and forbidden lands. Anything illegal is no problem, being rich here is your claim to fame and buying out the opposition is the name of the game. The Surti Lala racks his brains around the clock, to make sure his path is clear of any legal blocks.
‘Laundry Service’ in Laladom would actually mean conversion of black money to white.
‘Solid hai toh Liquid hai! --Whether it’s Gold, foreign currency, property, stocks and shares, world wide travel stamps on the passports, or a fleet of fancy cars, you name it and Surtis have it. Most Surtis do not need to swipe their credit cards for any of the above because they have enough cash that is unaccounted for, which can get them whatever they wish for. Hence, nothing is out of reach for the deep pocketed Surti.
‘Cash hai toh ash hai!’ ’-- Surtis have innovative ways of using their extra bucks; here is how their money works….
While most other cities around us would kick up a storm against inflation, corruption, violation of consumer rights, we almost take pride in practicing the same. Impossible school norms, flexible traffic rules, erratic working schedules are followed routinely. Pollution of water, air, land, every and any kind is legal here if you have the money to buy it. The other Indians from Punjab, Rajasthan, Bengal and Madhya Pradesh have migrated here to make that quick buck and so when in Surat, they too do as the Surtis do.
‘Moolah Mantra’--It does not matter if your money is black or white, in Surat it is your ticket to the quickest route on the top rung of the social ladder. Money may not buy you culture or style, but here it surely gets you a million smiles.Surat is often accused for not having any infrastructure for education, culture or medicine. The simple reason for that is that ‘Mara Whalah Surti Lalas’ think that they can always buy the same when needed. So though our growth as a progressive town shows wonders, are basic infrastructure remains a big blunder.
‘Ay, Kya Bolta Tu?’--The next time you happen to hear a conversation in Surat that involves the words’kala key dhola?’I.e.black or white? It might not be a T.V or hair or clothes that are being discussed; chances are that it’s the colour of money, honey.
Anyways, to get back where we started from, keeping up with good marketing strategy, in true Surti style, the above mentioned store ran an advertisement a week later and it proclaimed just one line-------------------’we accept all credit cards.’
Last year, a guest from Mumbai, was shocked out of his bank balance! Here’s why-- He purchased a television for his parents from a prominent electronic store in Surat and the shop keeper said,’ Sorry sir, we do not have a credit card machine!’ ‘What kind of money do you people carry around here?’ he asked me amazed because the said television model was for an amount that ran in five high figures.’ The black kind’, I answered jokingly, but turns out that it’s true! Solid Surtis are always Liquid cash rich-here is why-
Surat-The land of the Lalas, always has been associated with Diamonds, Textiles, Property and Trade. Money talks here and how!’Maal=Golmaal’ everything is available here if you can afford the tag, School admissions and top official ranks, licence for thrills and forbidden lands. Anything illegal is no problem, being rich here is your claim to fame and buying out the opposition is the name of the game. The Surti Lala racks his brains around the clock, to make sure his path is clear of any legal blocks.
‘Laundry Service’ in Laladom would actually mean conversion of black money to white.
‘Solid hai toh Liquid hai! --Whether it’s Gold, foreign currency, property, stocks and shares, world wide travel stamps on the passports, or a fleet of fancy cars, you name it and Surtis have it. Most Surtis do not need to swipe their credit cards for any of the above because they have enough cash that is unaccounted for, which can get them whatever they wish for. Hence, nothing is out of reach for the deep pocketed Surti.
‘Cash hai toh ash hai!’ ’-- Surtis have innovative ways of using their extra bucks; here is how their money works….
While most other cities around us would kick up a storm against inflation, corruption, violation of consumer rights, we almost take pride in practicing the same. Impossible school norms, flexible traffic rules, erratic working schedules are followed routinely. Pollution of water, air, land, every and any kind is legal here if you have the money to buy it. The other Indians from Punjab, Rajasthan, Bengal and Madhya Pradesh have migrated here to make that quick buck and so when in Surat, they too do as the Surtis do.
‘Moolah Mantra’--It does not matter if your money is black or white, in Surat it is your ticket to the quickest route on the top rung of the social ladder. Money may not buy you culture or style, but here it surely gets you a million smiles.Surat is often accused for not having any infrastructure for education, culture or medicine. The simple reason for that is that ‘Mara Whalah Surti Lalas’ think that they can always buy the same when needed. So though our growth as a progressive town shows wonders, are basic infrastructure remains a big blunder.
‘Ay, Kya Bolta Tu?’--The next time you happen to hear a conversation in Surat that involves the words’kala key dhola?’I.e.black or white? It might not be a T.V or hair or clothes that are being discussed; chances are that it’s the colour of money, honey.
Anyways, to get back where we started from, keeping up with good marketing strategy, in true Surti style, the above mentioned store ran an advertisement a week later and it proclaimed just one line-------------------’we accept all credit cards.’
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