RE: PUBLIC DAY THE SURTI WAY.
Today is a rare, manic Monday that will turn out to be a day of lazy languor. Reason enough, for us Surtis to hit the streets and celebrate the extended weekend. Roadside food stalls will have another busy, public day.
Slum dog Millionaire might have made slumming fashionable now, but we Surtis have been known to relish holiday meals at hole in the wall joints since ages, where man and mangy dog both get food. Fine dining in Surti streets has got nothing to do with fancy crockery, cutlery or for that matter even a table. Surtis, rich and poor have common roadside food joints where a plastic stool or chatai mat is good enough to sit down and enjoy a meal.
High on the hogger’s hitlist is the long running Khaudra Gulli; with its mouth-watering green garlic egg receipes that now has new introductions like ‘egg ravaiya ‘to be relished with khichdi and Australian egg fry that’s a cheesy number. Further down the lane, the crispy nylon dosas are much in demand. Also, Chindian [Chinese-Indian] cuisine and a variation in sandwiches and bhaji pav, Bombay style with a side order of veg.Pulao are popular with the vegetarians.
Of late, there are new tasty trails that set ablaze the streets of Surat by the evening and offer tongue teasers along with live cooking. These are in the sub urban Piplod area.
Parantha Gulli-Lest you think of Delhi -6, Chandni Chowk, let me tell you this one is right here, in the service lane by the Rajhans theatre at the Surat Dumas road. What began as a single cart for alternative cuisine now is a full fledged street full of carts that prepare stuffed paranthas in as many as 55 flavours such as Aloo, Gobi, Pyaaz, Muli, Paneer,Mutter,Palak and permutations and combinations of the same .Lusciously cooked in butter and served with curds, chutney and pickles.
Non-veg Gulli-Not to be mistaken with profane bad words, mind you. It’s opposite the school for the physically challenged at Umra.A diner’s delight for Surtis who relish succulent preparations like jumbo prawns, sweet water shrimps, desi dara and minty pomphrets. Alongside are available tandoori platters of tikkas and kebabs in reshmi, lasooni, lucknavi flavours also, chicken lollypops, butter, kadai and banjara chicken with rotis and naans from the tandoor.
The love of Surtis for lahri food has now made a lot of grade 1 restaurants in town open road side kiosks .With a fair priced veg and non veg menu ,one at Chowpatty sells minimeals from Burgers to Biryani.This brilliant marketing strategy to cater to need of foodies provides brisk business on weekdays as well as holidays.Ghodod road too, now has a newly opened roadside food court that offers pizzas, pastas ,Rajwadi khichdi ,chat and bhel .The kiosks within these are a street branch of well known restaurants around town .
The meltdown might stop Surtis from their impulsive expenditures but when it comes to food, Surtis are compulsive spenders on palate pleasures. So ‘bon-appétit ‘ to you fellow Surti, as you hit the street for your tasty treat this evening because whether it’s a religious or National holiday, we celebrate them all the public way.
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What are the Americans calling their 44th first gentleman? President Hopebama.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
PERMIT NA MILA MERE MAN KA...............................
All those of you out there who do not possess a precious ‘Health Permit’, face the dry state dilemma and have been thinking that ‘the glass is gleamier on the other side’. Worry not. Let me assure you, you are way better off. Don’t drop your jaw, here is why............
Last evening, as I was going through the wine list at one of the official liquor shops in the city to see what they offered, I ran into Mr.Magan Batla [original Surti name, not changed to protect identity].
‘Kem cho kaka?’ I asked cheerfully.
‘Bus, chale che dikra.’ He replied disdainfully.
‘I see you have a precious permit to officially drink in the dry state.’ I teased.
‘It’s a bane not a boon, I tell you!’ he muttered much to my surprise.’ First they make you feel like a senior citizen [you need to be 40+], then you need the doctor to certify you are fighting depression or disease [check up at Civil hospital too].And then if you qualify, you are handed a’ Health Permit’, a limited quota and the Ten Commandments!’
‘Pray, what ten commandments, kaka?’I asked.
‘Arre look at my permit, let me tell you the crux of what most of it says,
1.’Thou shall not use or consume foreign liquor exceeding 3 units per month.
2.’Thou shall not posses at any time during any month foreign liquor exceeding the above amount.
3.’Thou shall obtain foreign liquor required from a Government Depot or holder of vendor’s licence only.
4.’Thou shall not consume foreign liquor in public places or rooms of hotels. Thou shall not share or sell foreign liquor purchased under permit.’
5.’Thy permit has to accompany the whole or part of liquor stock always.’
6.’Thou shall comply with all orders and instructions given by the Prohibition and Excise officer.
7’Thou shall abide by the conditions and provisions of Bombay Prohibition Act, 1949.
8.’Thou shall not get drunk in any public place or not be in charge of any vehicle or animal.
9.’Thy permit may be cancelled or suspended in accordance with provisions of section 54 of the Act.’
10.’In case this permit is cancelled, holder is to surrender stock of unconsumed foreign liquor.’
‘I have so many friends who don’t have health permits.They are so lucky, no restrictions to abide by. They buy bottles of the stuff for much cheaper and in larger quantity, drink where they want to, share it with all too. They get to go for booze shopping trips to Daman where their wives buy imported olives, nuts and cheese as starters too. On the other hand, here I am ,confined within my four walls,alone.Never mind if I am getting a beer can or a Scotch from within the town, I always end up paying much more than they do for even less than half the fun that my free bird friends have!’ He wailed.
‘Well at least you have an official health permit to consume alcohol,’ I argued.
‘Which says’nasho e naash nu ghar che’ stamped on both sides,’ He lamented.
Then, his phone rang and as he answered it, he told me sheepishly,’ Its kaki, she is angry because the other place that sells liquor gives better freebie crockery as gifts.’
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What is Vibrant Gujarat doing in times of Global meltdown? Laughing all the way to the bank.
All those of you out there who do not possess a precious ‘Health Permit’, face the dry state dilemma and have been thinking that ‘the glass is gleamier on the other side’. Worry not. Let me assure you, you are way better off. Don’t drop your jaw, here is why............
Last evening, as I was going through the wine list at one of the official liquor shops in the city to see what they offered, I ran into Mr.Magan Batla [original Surti name, not changed to protect identity].
‘Kem cho kaka?’ I asked cheerfully.
‘Bus, chale che dikra.’ He replied disdainfully.
‘I see you have a precious permit to officially drink in the dry state.’ I teased.
‘It’s a bane not a boon, I tell you!’ he muttered much to my surprise.’ First they make you feel like a senior citizen [you need to be 40+], then you need the doctor to certify you are fighting depression or disease [check up at Civil hospital too].And then if you qualify, you are handed a’ Health Permit’, a limited quota and the Ten Commandments!’
‘Pray, what ten commandments, kaka?’I asked.
‘Arre look at my permit, let me tell you the crux of what most of it says,
1.’Thou shall not use or consume foreign liquor exceeding 3 units per month.
2.’Thou shall not posses at any time during any month foreign liquor exceeding the above amount.
3.’Thou shall obtain foreign liquor required from a Government Depot or holder of vendor’s licence only.
4.’Thou shall not consume foreign liquor in public places or rooms of hotels. Thou shall not share or sell foreign liquor purchased under permit.’
5.’Thy permit has to accompany the whole or part of liquor stock always.’
6.’Thou shall comply with all orders and instructions given by the Prohibition and Excise officer.
7’Thou shall abide by the conditions and provisions of Bombay Prohibition Act, 1949.
8.’Thou shall not get drunk in any public place or not be in charge of any vehicle or animal.
9.’Thy permit may be cancelled or suspended in accordance with provisions of section 54 of the Act.’
10.’In case this permit is cancelled, holder is to surrender stock of unconsumed foreign liquor.’
‘I have so many friends who don’t have health permits.They are so lucky, no restrictions to abide by. They buy bottles of the stuff for much cheaper and in larger quantity, drink where they want to, share it with all too. They get to go for booze shopping trips to Daman where their wives buy imported olives, nuts and cheese as starters too. On the other hand, here I am ,confined within my four walls,alone.Never mind if I am getting a beer can or a Scotch from within the town, I always end up paying much more than they do for even less than half the fun that my free bird friends have!’ He wailed.
‘Well at least you have an official health permit to consume alcohol,’ I argued.
‘Which says’nasho e naash nu ghar che’ stamped on both sides,’ He lamented.
Then, his phone rang and as he answered it, he told me sheepishly,’ Its kaki, she is angry because the other place that sells liquor gives better freebie crockery as gifts.’
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What is Vibrant Gujarat doing in times of Global meltdown? Laughing all the way to the bank.
Monday, January 12, 2009
JAB PR KIYA TOH DARNA KYAA?..............
As the Sun enters the Makar zodiac and we get set to celebrate Uttaryan, a lot of Surti Lalas will be breaking into sweat. Not at the fear of kite flying dearies, it’s a big day for PR.
Surtis celebrate all festivals with much aplomb. Well known to be superb hosts, with gourmet meals being a part of even their daily lifestyle, festivals give Surtis an official reason to please the boss.
For the simple Surtis, festivals are the best time and excuse for enhancing their PR with the Saab log. So, the good old straightforward ones will be having over managers, officers or seniors at home for a Ponk and Patang party. Spirits will soar at these happy family affairs, where laymen and collars will mingle to enjoy the January chill with kite flying thrills. This is basic Surti culture at its best.
Ever since the migrants settled in Surat, PR took a different turn altogether. Soon, Surat was well known to be high on every transfer wish list. Not surprisingly so, after all babus are gods here. From dyeing and printing masters at mills to CEO’s of companies, all are pleased.
In the past, when Excise was a duty levied on textile, it was a routine for many in the trade to go all out and please men who mattered .As atrocious as it may sound, from coriander to brown bread, hot Jalebis to imli chutneys, any and everything would be home delivered in a bid to please the babu’s madam at home!
Ahem...highly placed sources also claim that flooring, furniture and gardens would get an instant makeover at living quarters if the new madam did not approve of it. Rumours would then run rife as to which biggie had sponsored the same. Following some Algebra rule of keeping A happy automatically makes B see on your side or something on that line.
In cities like Delhi, everybody claims to know everybody else but in Surat, only a chosen few are allowed in the inner circle. As times have changed, PR is now carried out via one’s P.A., CA, or in many cases, a professional negotiator with communication skills is appointed exclusively for handling this task. Not to mention a chauffeur driven car, this always remains on ‘vardi’meaning at the service of the Saab or rather in many cases, his memsaab.
Diamond sets, gold jewellery, silvery crockery, Scotch bottles and electronic gadgets are a thing of the past. With changing times maybe real estate and property will seem to be the in thing .Diwali is no longer the only time to give gifts. In Tapi town, the pampering is constant and it is unending. Snooty socialites, who would otherwise care tuppence to converse decently, go all polite and pally to please on occasions as these. The babu log see through all the farce and have the last laugh.
No one knows to date whether or not this entire PR theory actually matters at all and if it makes a big difference. In many cases, it just means having a longer phone book than most others. What it does do is make the mediator feel powerful [fool?] thinking he can get things done. Maybe it gives him security of knowing’ topis’[it’s a male thing, they say],maybe it makes him hopeful that in times of trouble or an emergency, he will have someone to fall back upon and bail him out [ or so he thinks]. That dearies, then is the exact reason that makes our insecure Lalas sing confidently-
Jab PR kiya, toh darna kyaa? PR kiya koi chori nahi ki...................
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What do we call the big turnout of the nation’s business magnates at Vibrant Gujarat? –‘Flash of the Titans.’
As the Sun enters the Makar zodiac and we get set to celebrate Uttaryan, a lot of Surti Lalas will be breaking into sweat. Not at the fear of kite flying dearies, it’s a big day for PR.
Surtis celebrate all festivals with much aplomb. Well known to be superb hosts, with gourmet meals being a part of even their daily lifestyle, festivals give Surtis an official reason to please the boss.
For the simple Surtis, festivals are the best time and excuse for enhancing their PR with the Saab log. So, the good old straightforward ones will be having over managers, officers or seniors at home for a Ponk and Patang party. Spirits will soar at these happy family affairs, where laymen and collars will mingle to enjoy the January chill with kite flying thrills. This is basic Surti culture at its best.
Ever since the migrants settled in Surat, PR took a different turn altogether. Soon, Surat was well known to be high on every transfer wish list. Not surprisingly so, after all babus are gods here. From dyeing and printing masters at mills to CEO’s of companies, all are pleased.
In the past, when Excise was a duty levied on textile, it was a routine for many in the trade to go all out and please men who mattered .As atrocious as it may sound, from coriander to brown bread, hot Jalebis to imli chutneys, any and everything would be home delivered in a bid to please the babu’s madam at home!
Ahem...highly placed sources also claim that flooring, furniture and gardens would get an instant makeover at living quarters if the new madam did not approve of it. Rumours would then run rife as to which biggie had sponsored the same. Following some Algebra rule of keeping A happy automatically makes B see on your side or something on that line.
In cities like Delhi, everybody claims to know everybody else but in Surat, only a chosen few are allowed in the inner circle. As times have changed, PR is now carried out via one’s P.A., CA, or in many cases, a professional negotiator with communication skills is appointed exclusively for handling this task. Not to mention a chauffeur driven car, this always remains on ‘vardi’meaning at the service of the Saab or rather in many cases, his memsaab.
Diamond sets, gold jewellery, silvery crockery, Scotch bottles and electronic gadgets are a thing of the past. With changing times maybe real estate and property will seem to be the in thing .Diwali is no longer the only time to give gifts. In Tapi town, the pampering is constant and it is unending. Snooty socialites, who would otherwise care tuppence to converse decently, go all polite and pally to please on occasions as these. The babu log see through all the farce and have the last laugh.
No one knows to date whether or not this entire PR theory actually matters at all and if it makes a big difference. In many cases, it just means having a longer phone book than most others. What it does do is make the mediator feel powerful [fool?] thinking he can get things done. Maybe it gives him security of knowing’ topis’[it’s a male thing, they say],maybe it makes him hopeful that in times of trouble or an emergency, he will have someone to fall back upon and bail him out [ or so he thinks]. That dearies, then is the exact reason that makes our insecure Lalas sing confidently-
Jab PR kiya, toh darna kyaa? PR kiya koi chori nahi ki...................
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What do we call the big turnout of the nation’s business magnates at Vibrant Gujarat? –‘Flash of the Titans.’
Sunday, January 4, 2009
SURTI SUNDAY VS FRUGAL FUNDAY............
It’s a new day in the New Year and in these times of worldwide recession that has turned us all into fiscal underachievers, Surtis might look at the option of cost cutting as a New Year resolution.
On a normal Sunday, aam Surti janta would ride out towards Dumas- the ditch of the Arabian Sea, then, after a session of bhutta, bhajiya and narial paani, come back into the suburbs to catch a movie at the multiplex and dine out at the road side stalls or restuarants.Later, maybe catch coffee and dessert at a cafe. Down the years, this has been the routine of most Surtis. This means your average, yuppie Surti family of four spends about Rs.1200-1500 [inclusive of petrol] on a Sunday. Plus, if they were to shop for clothes, shoes etc.The amount would automatically increase two fold or more.
Well, well, well, dearies, with the global meltdown, all this is about to change since extra trimmings are going to affect extra expenses that are avoidable. So, let’s discover the unexpected pleasure of being smart about money once more. Here is a’ muft ka gyan ‘guide for fun loving Surtis to live well, spend less.
Since a lot of fathers in Surat are ‘Sunday papas’, meaning they spend time with family only on Sundays, there is never a better reason to be at home. If you prefer some fresh air, you could take the family for a walk to a park nearby, go jay walking in deserted by lanes or walk it up to the wholesale grocery store and stack the pantry with discounted goods of basic necessity for the month. Thus, reduce unnecessary purchases as well as waste of pollution causing petrol. Visit a museum, temple, library or any other public place within the comfort of your walking zone.
Be your own restaurant. You can eat like a prince at pauper’s prices if you turn into a frugal gourmet and cook up yum food at home, together. It can be anything from grandma’s best recipe paratha or a salad, pasta platter or even mirchi bhajiyas and onion rings or chicken wings. Good, clean, fun! Not to mention a much healthier option than street/restaurant food. Get the kids to lay out the table to a theme and add a bunch of fresh flowers from the garden as you light up that candle from last Diwali.
Convert your drawing room into your movie theatre. Rent a DVD. of movies you have been forever planning to watch but never got around to do so. Watch it with hot corn popped at home as you sip a foamy hand beaten espresso in your favourite mug. A good time, to listen out to those long bought surround sound effects speakers.
Fall back in love with everything you already own but never ended up using. Stuff like electronic games, upload your I-pod, burn c.d.’s on the puter, try out unused make up and dress up in outfits that remain hanging, as they await a special occassion.Spruce up your old clothes by mix and match options. Use long bought accessories, style hair and nails at home.
Spa at home. Give romance a new twist as you exchange facials, massage and pedicure treatments with the love of your life. Read out books to each other, dance and sing out to MTV, play Scrabble allowing only terms of endearment. Turn on your imagination to make all things fun.
The sting is worldwide, but we will heal quickly and we will heal well if we learn how to deal with it for a few Rupees less.
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What is Pakistan’s favourite Indian advertisement? ‘Kyaa saboot hai?’
It’s a new day in the New Year and in these times of worldwide recession that has turned us all into fiscal underachievers, Surtis might look at the option of cost cutting as a New Year resolution.
On a normal Sunday, aam Surti janta would ride out towards Dumas- the ditch of the Arabian Sea, then, after a session of bhutta, bhajiya and narial paani, come back into the suburbs to catch a movie at the multiplex and dine out at the road side stalls or restuarants.Later, maybe catch coffee and dessert at a cafe. Down the years, this has been the routine of most Surtis. This means your average, yuppie Surti family of four spends about Rs.1200-1500 [inclusive of petrol] on a Sunday. Plus, if they were to shop for clothes, shoes etc.The amount would automatically increase two fold or more.
Well, well, well, dearies, with the global meltdown, all this is about to change since extra trimmings are going to affect extra expenses that are avoidable. So, let’s discover the unexpected pleasure of being smart about money once more. Here is a’ muft ka gyan ‘guide for fun loving Surtis to live well, spend less.
Since a lot of fathers in Surat are ‘Sunday papas’, meaning they spend time with family only on Sundays, there is never a better reason to be at home. If you prefer some fresh air, you could take the family for a walk to a park nearby, go jay walking in deserted by lanes or walk it up to the wholesale grocery store and stack the pantry with discounted goods of basic necessity for the month. Thus, reduce unnecessary purchases as well as waste of pollution causing petrol. Visit a museum, temple, library or any other public place within the comfort of your walking zone.
Be your own restaurant. You can eat like a prince at pauper’s prices if you turn into a frugal gourmet and cook up yum food at home, together. It can be anything from grandma’s best recipe paratha or a salad, pasta platter or even mirchi bhajiyas and onion rings or chicken wings. Good, clean, fun! Not to mention a much healthier option than street/restaurant food. Get the kids to lay out the table to a theme and add a bunch of fresh flowers from the garden as you light up that candle from last Diwali.
Convert your drawing room into your movie theatre. Rent a DVD. of movies you have been forever planning to watch but never got around to do so. Watch it with hot corn popped at home as you sip a foamy hand beaten espresso in your favourite mug. A good time, to listen out to those long bought surround sound effects speakers.
Fall back in love with everything you already own but never ended up using. Stuff like electronic games, upload your I-pod, burn c.d.’s on the puter, try out unused make up and dress up in outfits that remain hanging, as they await a special occassion.Spruce up your old clothes by mix and match options. Use long bought accessories, style hair and nails at home.
Spa at home. Give romance a new twist as you exchange facials, massage and pedicure treatments with the love of your life. Read out books to each other, dance and sing out to MTV, play Scrabble allowing only terms of endearment. Turn on your imagination to make all things fun.
The sting is worldwide, but we will heal quickly and we will heal well if we learn how to deal with it for a few Rupees less.
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What is Pakistan’s favourite Indian advertisement? ‘Kyaa saboot hai?’
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