PERMIT NA MILA MERE MAN KA...............................
All those of you out there who do not possess a precious ‘Health Permit’, face the dry state dilemma and have been thinking that ‘the glass is gleamier on the other side’. Worry not. Let me assure you, you are way better off. Don’t drop your jaw, here is why............
Last evening, as I was going through the wine list at one of the official liquor shops in the city to see what they offered, I ran into Mr.Magan Batla [original Surti name, not changed to protect identity].
‘Kem cho kaka?’ I asked cheerfully.
‘Bus, chale che dikra.’ He replied disdainfully.
‘I see you have a precious permit to officially drink in the dry state.’ I teased.
‘It’s a bane not a boon, I tell you!’ he muttered much to my surprise.’ First they make you feel like a senior citizen [you need to be 40+], then you need the doctor to certify you are fighting depression or disease [check up at Civil hospital too].And then if you qualify, you are handed a’ Health Permit’, a limited quota and the Ten Commandments!’
‘Pray, what ten commandments, kaka?’I asked.
‘Arre look at my permit, let me tell you the crux of what most of it says,
1.’Thou shall not use or consume foreign liquor exceeding 3 units per month.
2.’Thou shall not posses at any time during any month foreign liquor exceeding the above amount.
3.’Thou shall obtain foreign liquor required from a Government Depot or holder of vendor’s licence only.
4.’Thou shall not consume foreign liquor in public places or rooms of hotels. Thou shall not share or sell foreign liquor purchased under permit.’
5.’Thy permit has to accompany the whole or part of liquor stock always.’
6.’Thou shall comply with all orders and instructions given by the Prohibition and Excise officer.
7’Thou shall abide by the conditions and provisions of Bombay Prohibition Act, 1949.
8.’Thou shall not get drunk in any public place or not be in charge of any vehicle or animal.
9.’Thy permit may be cancelled or suspended in accordance with provisions of section 54 of the Act.’
10.’In case this permit is cancelled, holder is to surrender stock of unconsumed foreign liquor.’
‘I have so many friends who don’t have health permits.They are so lucky, no restrictions to abide by. They buy bottles of the stuff for much cheaper and in larger quantity, drink where they want to, share it with all too. They get to go for booze shopping trips to Daman where their wives buy imported olives, nuts and cheese as starters too. On the other hand, here I am ,confined within my four walls,alone.Never mind if I am getting a beer can or a Scotch from within the town, I always end up paying much more than they do for even less than half the fun that my free bird friends have!’ He wailed.
‘Well at least you have an official health permit to consume alcohol,’ I argued.
‘Which says’nasho e naash nu ghar che’ stamped on both sides,’ He lamented.
Then, his phone rang and as he answered it, he told me sheepishly,’ Its kaki, she is angry because the other place that sells liquor gives better freebie crockery as gifts.’
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What is Vibrant Gujarat doing in times of Global meltdown? Laughing all the way to the bank.