LIFE OF A SURTI LALA……………..
So, you thought that life of a lala was all about living life kingsize, eh?
Last evening, I happened to meet rich and famous Surti sheth Dhanvantbhai Shethia.
‘Kem cho, Dhanvantdada?’
‘Prubhu ni krupa chey dikra,’he sighed,’baki badhu locha lapsi chey’.
‘Why so sir? I asked, worriedly.’
‘Arrey, things are not as they used to be in laladom.Times having changed; it is no fun being a lala anymore’.
Then, looking at my bewildered expression, he explained
Life of a lala then and now…….
.
Saheb, biwi aur ghulam-Once upon a time this simply meant a rich man with a wife and a loyal slave. Life was fun as lalas would be pampered by both, his patni and his paid servant. Now, alas, life is different. There is a new Saheb in the lala’s life; in fact, there are several. Babu log in Surat are called’saheb’.Day in and night out, Lalas rack their brains on how to find new ways of pleasing the ‘sahebs’, so as to be in their ‘good books.’ As if this was not enough, there is the other major task of keeping the ‘lalarina’ happy and pampered So,24/7 and through the 12 months of the year, a lala has to please both beuarocracy and biwi and needless to say ,within this whole exercise, one can very well guess who the new Ghulam is.
Surti Spidermen-In the days of yore, Lalas were superheroes. The Surti slang ‘chappra kudey’was,as the name suggests, given to adventurous lalas who would literally jump rooftops; within the old walled city of neighbouring homes, to visit their beau, who awaited on the terraces, to spend precious, private moments with their amour’, a la Romeo and Juliet. But the new suburban residences of rich Surtis has ensured ‘love don’t’ live here anymore ‘circumstances. Forget roof top jumping, even a lala farmhouse ,built with much love for their loved ones, is more of the kind of place that others use and all that the lala’s are left doing there is cleaning up the Surti spiders, man!
Roti kapda aur makaan-There was once a time when 8 course ‘Surat nu jaman’ meals were laid out with 3 farsans and 3 desserts and 5 vegetables for lalas to relish the rich man’s Surti meal. Cloth for lala’s shirts came from special shops that sold exclusive fabric. Every time the lala brought land, he was upgraded to being called a ‘zamindar’.Things have changed, eating a Surti meal now means standing at a ‘lahri’ next to common man, besides mangy dogs. Our paanwallahs wear linen shirts to work and owning land now means one is a ‘khedoot’.As if that was not enough, Shahrukh owns part of the Moon now, making piece of land sound passe’.
‘So you see dearie? He sighed as he boarded his swanky new chauffeur driven car,’ I paid for this SUV, but the good fortune to drive it, is Ganpat’s!’
What more can I say, other than,’yeh jeena bhi koi jeena hai lallu, err…lala?
Tapi town tattle-Aeronaughtricks
Showing posts with label surti lala. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surti lala. Show all posts
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
AROUND THE WORLD IN SURTI WAYS................
May,the month of mayhem-travel,exam results and mangoes has finally ended.Surtis who were away for most of it,are back.
Often ,I am told by many a migrant ,now settled in Tapi town ,that although they were not born here,they are now Surti to the core; since I sail in the same boat as them,I nod my head in complete agreement.
Our town has this magical magnetism that draws you towards it. So,when does one actually know that one has turned into a complete Surti?well,here are a few pointers. I am sure all of you out there will have your own experiences to add on-
You know you are Surti ...............
When you are walking the Orchard road in Singapore with its fancy stores and window displays but wishing you were caught in the chaotic crowd at Ghodod road, with friends instead.
when you are in Australia,surrounded by foul mouths but you know more bad words than they do and can make them go red in the face once you start off.
When you are trudging the cobbled paths of Brussels but thinking of how its shaded pavements are not as cool as our by lanes, lined with Mughal,Hindu,Persian and Dutch architecture.
When you are listening to the gush of the Niagara falls but pining to hear the rain patter off the asbestos on old city rooftops in Gopipura.
When you are tucking in fish and chips while watching the change of guard at Buckingham but hoping you can have bhajiyas at Dumas soon,as you peep through the creepers at the hidden palace of the Nawab of Sachin.
When you are the Louvre watching the art over the ages as the guide describes it and you wonder what fabulous potential the rangoli gals of Maniyara sheri have.
When you are cruising the magnificent Nile yet wondering if the Tapi is going to be as dry as you last saw it or in the danger of overflowing again this monsoon.
When you are appreciating pearls in HongKong but are in doubt as they closely seem to resemble the ones you saw at Choksi bazaar.
When you are watching IPL in South Africa but wondering how your buddies in Textile market will be betting over it.
When you are being served hash browns and Pecan pie in Texas but pining for khaman locho and gharis instead.
When the Chinese are showing you some exotic silk and you smile to yourself thinking how easily Pandesara will make it' the next big thing.'
When Amsterdam is in full bloom with its tulips and you yearn for the fragrance of country roses grown in Sachin.
When Antwerp has a grand display of royal crowns under high security and you smirk how casually our diamond traders and angadias handle precious stones.
When you are looking at the finest modern architecture in Dubai but wonder what the real estate rates at Piplod and Silent zone have gone up to.
Bottom line is,it does not matter whether you are in Syria or Scotland,Mexico or Malaysia,truth is,Surtipanu never leaves you.
Everybody has some place they call home,for Tapi towners,it will always be Surat.
Tapi town tattle-Other than ciggy packets ,what else should be printed with 'scorpian 'signs? Surti chimneys!
May,the month of mayhem-travel,exam results and mangoes has finally ended.Surtis who were away for most of it,are back.
Often ,I am told by many a migrant ,now settled in Tapi town ,that although they were not born here,they are now Surti to the core; since I sail in the same boat as them,I nod my head in complete agreement.
Our town has this magical magnetism that draws you towards it. So,when does one actually know that one has turned into a complete Surti?well,here are a few pointers. I am sure all of you out there will have your own experiences to add on-
You know you are Surti ...............
When you are walking the Orchard road in Singapore with its fancy stores and window displays but wishing you were caught in the chaotic crowd at Ghodod road, with friends instead.
when you are in Australia,surrounded by foul mouths but you know more bad words than they do and can make them go red in the face once you start off.
When you are trudging the cobbled paths of Brussels but thinking of how its shaded pavements are not as cool as our by lanes, lined with Mughal,Hindu,Persian and Dutch architecture.
When you are listening to the gush of the Niagara falls but pining to hear the rain patter off the asbestos on old city rooftops in Gopipura.
When you are tucking in fish and chips while watching the change of guard at Buckingham but hoping you can have bhajiyas at Dumas soon,as you peep through the creepers at the hidden palace of the Nawab of Sachin.
When you are the Louvre watching the art over the ages as the guide describes it and you wonder what fabulous potential the rangoli gals of Maniyara sheri have.
When you are cruising the magnificent Nile yet wondering if the Tapi is going to be as dry as you last saw it or in the danger of overflowing again this monsoon.
When you are appreciating pearls in HongKong but are in doubt as they closely seem to resemble the ones you saw at Choksi bazaar.
When you are watching IPL in South Africa but wondering how your buddies in Textile market will be betting over it.
When you are being served hash browns and Pecan pie in Texas but pining for khaman locho and gharis instead.
When the Chinese are showing you some exotic silk and you smile to yourself thinking how easily Pandesara will make it' the next big thing.'
When Amsterdam is in full bloom with its tulips and you yearn for the fragrance of country roses grown in Sachin.
When Antwerp has a grand display of royal crowns under high security and you smirk how casually our diamond traders and angadias handle precious stones.
When you are looking at the finest modern architecture in Dubai but wonder what the real estate rates at Piplod and Silent zone have gone up to.
Bottom line is,it does not matter whether you are in Syria or Scotland,Mexico or Malaysia,truth is,Surtipanu never leaves you.
Everybody has some place they call home,for Tapi towners,it will always be Surat.
Tapi town tattle-Other than ciggy packets ,what else should be printed with 'scorpian 'signs? Surti chimneys!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
P IS FOR PROFANITY……..SURTIS ‘SWEAR’ BY IT!
Towns all over our country are known for their distinct dialect and manner of speaking; the nawaabi andaaz of Lucknow’s tehzeeb, the sugar coated chatter of Calcutta, the respectful regal tone of Jaipur, in Gujarat itself there are a number of accents in which Ahmedabadi, Kathiyawadi etc. Gujarati is spoken. When it comes to our town though, the otherwise sweet sounding language takes an about turn.’shu che?’ becomes’ hu che?’ and ‘tamay aavo’ becomes ‘tu chal ni’.Other than being casual about the way they speak, Surtis are also most definitely well known for their profanity. I mean, I have yet to hear a social, business or casual conversation in town which does not include more than one #~*$#! Expletive word in every delivered dialogue!
The ‘it’ slang word does not exist in Surat because every slang word is part of a normal Surti conversation. While one wonders what mothers, sisters, fathers, brother-in laws and their body parts have got to do with conversations that neither involve them nor revolve around them; the average Surti would loose half his talk time in case he was forced to frame a sentence without profusely swearing!
Surat has a number of communities and sub castes of Gujaratis that dwell here. We have the Patels, Ghachis, Golas, Khatris, Vanias etc. Although they all speak differently, they are bound together by their profanity. No one raises a surprised brow at the most inaudible word spoken publicly.
Since it has always been a business community, education has never been that important to the average Surti. Family business has beckoned many a young soul to discontinue studies midway, irrespective of caste and creed. Grammar in Tapi town therefore is also one of the poorest in the state and pronunciations too go for ahem! A six!
In case the otherwise efficient Surti lala was asked to make a business deal come through without using his slang words, it would be a catch 22 situation for him! Every Surti sentence is incomplete until it is peppered with slang.
Surtis do not mean to swear at their friends and associates, in fact they use these with people they converse with on a day to day basis as terms of endearments!Surtis swear when they are in a good mood, smilingly and do so angrily when they are in a bad mood. So that means, if a Surti does not swear when in conversation, you do not feature in his close group of normal people and he is trying really hard to keep the talk straight!
Minding his ‘P’s and ‘Q’s would be torture for a Surti and he would rather answer in ‘yes’ or’ no’ than converse in situations that call for the same. Watching cricket, flying kites, eating out, chatting on the mobile, shopping, driving, in short every normal activity that a Surti does has to have a reaction that begins and ends with exclamatory remarks.
One thing is for certain, if there was ever a competition for original, innovative, maximum and widely used profanity world wide, Surtis would win hands down, no competition there sir, not even from the infamous down under-Australia.Surtis casually speak words that would make any human from out of town go drastically red in the face.
The other ‘P’word that Surtis are well known for is Promiscuous, but this is a newspaper with family readership and I most definitely am not getting into that explicit conversation, lest I get showered with spicy Surti slang of the profane kind!
Towns all over our country are known for their distinct dialect and manner of speaking; the nawaabi andaaz of Lucknow’s tehzeeb, the sugar coated chatter of Calcutta, the respectful regal tone of Jaipur, in Gujarat itself there are a number of accents in which Ahmedabadi, Kathiyawadi etc. Gujarati is spoken. When it comes to our town though, the otherwise sweet sounding language takes an about turn.’shu che?’ becomes’ hu che?’ and ‘tamay aavo’ becomes ‘tu chal ni’.Other than being casual about the way they speak, Surtis are also most definitely well known for their profanity. I mean, I have yet to hear a social, business or casual conversation in town which does not include more than one #~*$#! Expletive word in every delivered dialogue!
The ‘it’ slang word does not exist in Surat because every slang word is part of a normal Surti conversation. While one wonders what mothers, sisters, fathers, brother-in laws and their body parts have got to do with conversations that neither involve them nor revolve around them; the average Surti would loose half his talk time in case he was forced to frame a sentence without profusely swearing!
Surat has a number of communities and sub castes of Gujaratis that dwell here. We have the Patels, Ghachis, Golas, Khatris, Vanias etc. Although they all speak differently, they are bound together by their profanity. No one raises a surprised brow at the most inaudible word spoken publicly.
Since it has always been a business community, education has never been that important to the average Surti. Family business has beckoned many a young soul to discontinue studies midway, irrespective of caste and creed. Grammar in Tapi town therefore is also one of the poorest in the state and pronunciations too go for ahem! A six!
In case the otherwise efficient Surti lala was asked to make a business deal come through without using his slang words, it would be a catch 22 situation for him! Every Surti sentence is incomplete until it is peppered with slang.
Surtis do not mean to swear at their friends and associates, in fact they use these with people they converse with on a day to day basis as terms of endearments!Surtis swear when they are in a good mood, smilingly and do so angrily when they are in a bad mood. So that means, if a Surti does not swear when in conversation, you do not feature in his close group of normal people and he is trying really hard to keep the talk straight!
Minding his ‘P’s and ‘Q’s would be torture for a Surti and he would rather answer in ‘yes’ or’ no’ than converse in situations that call for the same. Watching cricket, flying kites, eating out, chatting on the mobile, shopping, driving, in short every normal activity that a Surti does has to have a reaction that begins and ends with exclamatory remarks.
One thing is for certain, if there was ever a competition for original, innovative, maximum and widely used profanity world wide, Surtis would win hands down, no competition there sir, not even from the infamous down under-Australia.Surtis casually speak words that would make any human from out of town go drastically red in the face.
The other ‘P’word that Surtis are well known for is Promiscuous, but this is a newspaper with family readership and I most definitely am not getting into that explicit conversation, lest I get showered with spicy Surti slang of the profane kind!
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