TAXED BY INCOME IN TAPI TOWN


So you thought that life in Lalaland was a bed of roses, eh? Well, well well, not really and certainly not in the last few days of March.

These are difficult days, with even more difficult words, poor rich lalas can’t even pronounce them properly –perquisite, deficits, assets, assessments, disclosures etc.

You see, too much of anything is never a good thing. Post the dreaded Ides of March, its show time of a different kind, when more profits might mean more loss, for a change.

No matter how much a Lala is troubled by these days of the year, year after year, it still turns out to be the same story for him.

The officers in charge have to complete a set target and every lala in town fears he and his company might be it- the flavour of the month of March.

He has to pull up his socks a little higher, mug up quick ways of explaining his tax exemption theory, how he made hay from tax free agricultural income, how he escaped paying taxes in the name of his spouse and children, how he believes in’ philanthropy begins at work’, when the officers discover the accounts in names of various employees and their family members and be answerable to all the magic bonds that he used to pocket a few rupees more, rather than part with them.

If there is anyone who is closest and most supportive to the Lalas during the month of March, it is, no, not the spouse or the other woman in his life, it’s his CA= Chartered Accountant.

The ‘see a CA’ theory is what gives the Lala some relief, if any and you will often find him cozying up more with his CA ,than his wife in the evenings .

Lalas and their tactful CAs communicate in the language of love-‘pyaar and dil’, err… make that PR and Deal. Both share a ‘deal ka rishta.’

Here is an example of what text messages between the two may read like-

Lala-Deal deke dekho.
CA-Hum deal de chukey sanam.

Lala-Isharo isharo mein deal leney waley, bataa tuney hunar ye seekha kahaan se?
CA-Jab PR kiya toh darna kyaa, PR kiya koi chori nahi ki.

Lala-Deal diya, dard liya?
CA-Deal apna aur treat parayi.

To make things worse, there is tattle within the CA circle that last minute raids in March will be carried out, so as to not give an opportunity to plan.

Officers meanwhile are pointing out ,how Lalas and Co are gaining advantage points by smart play .Figuring their ways out from taxing times ,with TOING theory-“Tax on income no ghotalo.”

It seems the fables and theories put forward each year are getting funnier and more entertaining by the year.

First timers on duty in Surat are amused at how naïve the Surti lala and his CA seem to take department to be.

Who knows, with the Surti fetish for classes to acquire new skill, we might soon have a private ‘dodge your dread session’, by appointment only.

Be rest assured, Lalas wont mind paying dearly for this one.