SURTI SCAPEGOATS-BULLY KE BAKRE…..
Mister Magan Batla, official Surti alcoholic who is not anonymous, is fuming this New Year. He has decided to hold a dharna right outside a Surti suburb’s fancy police station, below the shady green trees, where the cool breeze blows.

He is extremely upset and angry with the system; and has decided enough is enough,’maari maang poori karo!”(I want my demand met).

Since the system couldn’t handle him, or rather dint know how to, his wife, Ms.Aunty Batli requested me if I could convince him to give up and come home.

‘Shun thayu kaka? Chalo, gharbhega thay jao’ (what happened uncle? come, lets go home) I inquired.

He refused to budge, saying, ‘This is not fair, how can they do this? The entire world celebrates New Year’s Eve, in ‘high spirits’. Year after year, it has always been the same. I have spent my life party hopping on 31st December, hoping that I get some coverage, and what do I get in return? Nothing! This year was a once in a blue moon chance and look what they did; they went and caught some naïve young kids instead of a stalwart like me!

Most of these bachhas do not even know about the consequences and a PHD (properly high on daru) like me is shown no respect for seniority! Shame! While these children are splashed over in news, lashed out at by Surti morale makers and talked about by everyone who has a tongue. This is torture, I resolve to give up alcohol, it’s got me nothing!’

Mr.Magan Batla’s New Year resolution list for Tapi towners –

For tragedy queen mothers- Stop crying. It’s not the end of the world if some ‘well wishers’ come and accuse,’maa da ladla bigad gaya.’your child and his wife are adults now. Remember the time you were young, wild and fancyfree, try to bridge the gap; if under 18, though, they need counseling, pronto!

For little boys’ rich big daddies-Its no big deal if you sneakily tried to get your kid out with your clout, you just showed him a route to escape .Let him grow up the way his other less fortunate friends have, if you want him to learn how to handle himself in future.

For Surtis with double standards-Shut up! Don’t try and create a scandal where there is none. We do not need your wild imagination to add on to someone’s nightmare. Be fully aware, it could easily have been you instead of them.

For the scapegoats-Sorry kids, shit happens! You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Take it in your stride, practice caution, remember to NEVER ever, drink and drive.

For the sahibs in the system-Why this biased treatment, with ‘smelt a brat’ testing system? Have you no respect for senior players like me -Magan Batla? Did you not notice all other places that I visited all around town on New Year’s Eve? Were we not fancy enough for you?
Bakra Ney budley tabbariya kem halaal karya? (why did you spare the goat and sacrifice the ‘kids’ instead)

Tapi town tattle-Aall iz well, even if it doesn’t end well, sometimes.