LAYMAN’S QUICKIE NAVRATRI GUIDE....
The 9 nights of heat, sweat and passion are now in fashion. In case you are a novice or have been out of practice, here is a quick route to uncover Navratri codes. Keeping up with the festive mood, I present the same in accordance to the most popular remix tunes played during swirl sessions.
We first need to be dressed for the occassion.Here are some trendy tips............
Sorry guys, since it’s just koti, kediyu, dhoti for you every year, try to spruce it up with a bandanna and ethnic sling bag. Create fashion fusion to match ‘Rock on’ energy with your kediyu ‘frock on.’
Girls, here we go-
1. Choli ke peechey kyaa hai?-Jolie! Tattoos look hot with halter neck and backless cholis.Add sparkle to yours with swarowskis. Make sure to use water proof ink for temporary ones.
2. Chunri ke neechey kyaa hai? Decorate the border of your bandhni/laehriyu pallu with multi coloured bead tassels and a good luck charm; be a jingle belle.
3. Resham ka lehnga mera, lehnga hai mehnga-Gaji silk and gota are the flavour of the month.choose a base colour and team with choli and odhni in bright colours.
4. Lehnga utha ke chalu-Length of ghaghras this season is about four fingers higher than the ankles. Keep it pleated for a more graceful sway.
5. Ghunghat girakey chalu-Instead of a damni, stitch on a payal at the edge of your odhni for trendy head gear look.
6. Kyaa kyaa sambhaley chalu Ramji? Stay hands free this Navratri, carry your mobiles in ethnic covers tied to cummerbands or as bajubands.
You are now geared up for garba; let’s try out some swinging, it’s easy, just put your ear to music.
1. Pankhida re udi jajo-This nostalgic number is sung in dedication to all the visiting NRI’s and the kabootarbaaz clan who have flown the nest. Most garbas begin with this sentimental song.
2. Odhni odhu toh udi udi jay- Rendered to make sure all girls take care in these times of visual rapists and mobile videos. It cautions against any wardrobe malfunction. Make sure you are well pinned up before you swirl in the human carousal.
3. Dholida dhol re vagad, mare hich levi che-A popular song with the boys who surprisingly disappear to the parking lot during it. Some say they mistake it for ‘dhich’ which means drink in Gujarati.Some also pronounce it as hic.I wonder why?
4. Sanedo Sanedo lal lal sanedo-Ever since this number has become famous, a number of modern remix versions have been put up in the market. The latest one features Bipasha and Mallika in it. A local NGO claims to have requested for its rights to turn it into an awareness song; a message to play safe during this time of the year, a message to practice caution, before the crowds disappear like coneys.
Last heard, Mr.Ramadoss’s office is said to have approached Surtis to ask if they would play the ‘B*^%#! soota ,soota na laga song ‘during the break, in National interest of health; since Surtis swear by profanity.
But the Surtis it seems have politely declined saying’ when the going gets tough, the puff gets going.’
All right people, you are set for the annual fetish ,let the music play and just make your body sway.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
MOONLIGHTING;RANDER ‘S RANGOONI NIGHTS.
In spite of always having been one; people often look at me doubtfully and say,’aapko dekh kar toh nahi lagta ke aap vegetarian hai?’Having grown up with two elder, voracious non vegetarian siblings, both of them particularly lean , I never take the above statement as an abasement.I maintain they say so due to my ‘healthy ‘hair and skin.My protective mom says it must be due to my farmer blood broad shoulders, my health freak dad differs, blaming it on my erratic lifestyle.
So when the boss, my editor from Ahmedabad sent me the message to,’ do a piece on Rander scene during iftari.Hog as well.’ the first thing I did was pick up the phone and tell parents that my stand on the ‘protein power looks’ issue stood vindicated. Since, all that boss knows me by, is my photo herewith.
Next, I resorted to pure gumption to gather a gang for the mission. It was complicated. There are various kinds of foodies in Surat-The pure veg, the Jain veg who do not eat onions or garlic, the vegans who abstain from lactose, the chickenetarians [no goat], the weekly non veg [none on Tuesday/Thursday], the meat and chicken but no beef and pork and finally the ‘pure’ non vegetarians. Also the eggetarians, to which I belonged.
My gang had all of the above and an anorexic friend who didn’t belong to any of the above. The Jains joined in, not to lose their religion but to visit Manibhadra; the yaksha God, whose temple in Rander is reminiscent of the ancient 200A.D.Shanprat rule during which numerous Jain derasars were built in Rander. Thousands of people throng this place especially on Thursday; belief is all your wishes are granted if you pray here.
Centuries ago, residents of this southern end of Bharuch would travel to the foreign shores of Arabia, Sudan, Bangkok, Burma from the port of Rander, in search of a livelihood. A lot of Burma teak and fine, bright coloured porcelain was shipped in from Yangon which travelled to the royalty in India. Till date antiques are sourced from here. Old homes in Rander are made of Burma teak. The Rander House in Rangoon at present houses The Internal Revenue Department. Post the third world war, trade started deteriorating and by the time Burma [Myanmar] was Independent in 1950, hundreds of Muslim Diaspora, forced to give up business and property, had returned back to Rander-now the city of mosques.
The Yangon connection inspired flavours of Burmese cuisine. The food at Rander is therefore different from the other ghettos at Chowk and Zhampa bazaar; where chicken tangdi and tikkas, mutton raan and chaps for iftari are available along with machhi pav, mutton salan for the morning Sehri.
Rander has receipes like the famous Rangooni paratha-succulent meat pieces enveloped in thin layer of maida, egg and deep fried as a rectangular delicacy, a version of Chicken khowsuey [locals call it khausa] prepared with steaming spaghetti, thin, chicken curry with a coconut milk base and garnished with dry puri pieces instead of Sali wafers, with a sprinkling of spring onion greens. Also, much relished are the machhi masala chicken and aloo puri-thin small maida puris served with bits of chatpata aloo topped with onions, lime and chilli. Silver chicken, marinated in green chilli garlic paste, roasted within foil. Of course, the usual boti kebabs, tandoori chicken, chicken 65 and eggs to order are also available. Dessert offerings are kullad phirni and various flavours of sancha ice cream and kulfis of which Guava and Durian fruit ones are rare and exclusive to Rander. Many homes here are converted to ‘family room’ for dining.
Rander mela began in 1938 at the Chunarwad Masjid alley, next to a beautiful imaret maderesa; a place to provide hungry Muslims food post the evening azaan to break their Ramzan fast. Till date, little kiosks of paraphernalia for midnight shoppers offer prayer beads, embroidered burqas, talcum-toiletries, replica sneakers, cheap Chinese toys and concentrated ittars.The street is quite civil and serene through the night, with a heavy aroma in air and sizzling sounds of tava cooking. Today, the retired ‘raizees’ of Rangoon rule the streets once a year, moonlighting with receipes carried down the ages. Many just work during the month of Ramzan.This is a city within the city in an age of bygone era and when the new moon is cited at the month end, it will be Idd,its New year.
Everyone returned home happy. Then, my father called to ask if the title of my column meant khoob –soorat [lots of face].
In spite of always having been one; people often look at me doubtfully and say,’aapko dekh kar toh nahi lagta ke aap vegetarian hai?’Having grown up with two elder, voracious non vegetarian siblings, both of them particularly lean , I never take the above statement as an abasement.I maintain they say so due to my ‘healthy ‘hair and skin.My protective mom says it must be due to my farmer blood broad shoulders, my health freak dad differs, blaming it on my erratic lifestyle.
So when the boss, my editor from Ahmedabad sent me the message to,’ do a piece on Rander scene during iftari.Hog as well.’ the first thing I did was pick up the phone and tell parents that my stand on the ‘protein power looks’ issue stood vindicated. Since, all that boss knows me by, is my photo herewith.
Next, I resorted to pure gumption to gather a gang for the mission. It was complicated. There are various kinds of foodies in Surat-The pure veg, the Jain veg who do not eat onions or garlic, the vegans who abstain from lactose, the chickenetarians [no goat], the weekly non veg [none on Tuesday/Thursday], the meat and chicken but no beef and pork and finally the ‘pure’ non vegetarians. Also the eggetarians, to which I belonged.
My gang had all of the above and an anorexic friend who didn’t belong to any of the above. The Jains joined in, not to lose their religion but to visit Manibhadra; the yaksha God, whose temple in Rander is reminiscent of the ancient 200A.D.Shanprat rule during which numerous Jain derasars were built in Rander. Thousands of people throng this place especially on Thursday; belief is all your wishes are granted if you pray here.
Centuries ago, residents of this southern end of Bharuch would travel to the foreign shores of Arabia, Sudan, Bangkok, Burma from the port of Rander, in search of a livelihood. A lot of Burma teak and fine, bright coloured porcelain was shipped in from Yangon which travelled to the royalty in India. Till date antiques are sourced from here. Old homes in Rander are made of Burma teak. The Rander House in Rangoon at present houses The Internal Revenue Department. Post the third world war, trade started deteriorating and by the time Burma [Myanmar] was Independent in 1950, hundreds of Muslim Diaspora, forced to give up business and property, had returned back to Rander-now the city of mosques.
The Yangon connection inspired flavours of Burmese cuisine. The food at Rander is therefore different from the other ghettos at Chowk and Zhampa bazaar; where chicken tangdi and tikkas, mutton raan and chaps for iftari are available along with machhi pav, mutton salan for the morning Sehri.
Rander has receipes like the famous Rangooni paratha-succulent meat pieces enveloped in thin layer of maida, egg and deep fried as a rectangular delicacy, a version of Chicken khowsuey [locals call it khausa] prepared with steaming spaghetti, thin, chicken curry with a coconut milk base and garnished with dry puri pieces instead of Sali wafers, with a sprinkling of spring onion greens. Also, much relished are the machhi masala chicken and aloo puri-thin small maida puris served with bits of chatpata aloo topped with onions, lime and chilli. Silver chicken, marinated in green chilli garlic paste, roasted within foil. Of course, the usual boti kebabs, tandoori chicken, chicken 65 and eggs to order are also available. Dessert offerings are kullad phirni and various flavours of sancha ice cream and kulfis of which Guava and Durian fruit ones are rare and exclusive to Rander. Many homes here are converted to ‘family room’ for dining.
Rander mela began in 1938 at the Chunarwad Masjid alley, next to a beautiful imaret maderesa; a place to provide hungry Muslims food post the evening azaan to break their Ramzan fast. Till date, little kiosks of paraphernalia for midnight shoppers offer prayer beads, embroidered burqas, talcum-toiletries, replica sneakers, cheap Chinese toys and concentrated ittars.The street is quite civil and serene through the night, with a heavy aroma in air and sizzling sounds of tava cooking. Today, the retired ‘raizees’ of Rangoon rule the streets once a year, moonlighting with receipes carried down the ages. Many just work during the month of Ramzan.This is a city within the city in an age of bygone era and when the new moon is cited at the month end, it will be Idd,its New year.
Everyone returned home happy. Then, my father called to ask if the title of my column meant khoob –soorat [lots of face].
Thursday, September 18, 2008
ONEROUS SOORATS OF OUR U.P.BROTHERS................
Bidhna ne ek purkh banaya, tiriya di aur naeh lagaya.
Chook hui kuch wa sey aisee, des chhod hua pardesi.*
These lines are a riddle by Amir Khusrau,India’s esteemed ,prolific poet .He who is known to have introduced ghazals to the world, whose tender words ignite love into hearts and spring tears into the eyes.Khusrau was a master of both Hindi and Persian ; his couplets often intermingled the two languages, bringing out new meanings from the puns involved. He hailed from Uttar Pradesh, the soil of origin of Ramlila and Qawallis.
In fact Uttar Pradesh has literally been the abode of our country’s best literature.Valmiki and Vyaasa,Kabir and Ghalib,Premchand , Vishnu Sarma [ Panchtantra],Mirza Hadi Ruswa[umrao jaan],Naushad to Majrooh Sultanpuri the list is endless. Famous freedom fighters, most of our Prime Ministers, numerous talented actors, directors, musicians and singers are from U.P.-The birth place of Lord Rama and Krishna.
Closer home, there are various faces of talented and hard working U.P.bhaiyyajis that we see in our day to day lives.........
Other than the educated babu brigade in white collar jobs, our dependence on this community is phenomenal.
The first phone calls that go out in the morning from most sub urban homes in Surat are those to the vegetable vendor .One of whom is Mishraji and his troupe of men at Parle Point ,ever ready to home deliver ordered goods .Whether its broccoli or bhaji, kiwi or kakdi.He makes sure that his clients are always happy .Sardar market, Surat’s wholesale subzimandi ,is abuzz as early as 4.a.m.with men like Mishraji who make sure that they hastily carry fresh farm produce to all the nakas and sheris of Tapi town.Whats more ,if you ever need a maharaj[cook] or driver ,Mishraji’s network is far more trustworthy and effecient than any other placement agency to find someone apropos to the job.
Most of the security guards and elevator operators in apartments and at offices; not to mention the energetic Man Fridays around the textile market who toil relentlessly under heavy burdens are from the land of Nehru.Also, industrialists who run looms and weaving machines, prefer labourers from U.P.since they work the hardest often putting in 24 hour shifts in exchange of meagre compensation. Resorting to just a quick break for khichdi and aloo pyaaz sabzi as relief. Rare for locals to do that.
During the Plague and post the floods, when most Surtis abandoned town, it is this community who stayed back, working away due to their vulnerability, even as things slowly paced back to normal.
The steaming chai lahris from Varaccha to Pandesara,that constantly concoct refreshing cuppas of cutting tea, the innumerable Benarasi Paanwalas from Citylight to Chautapul who artistically prepare ‘teen items’ and ‘magai jodis,’the enthusiastic dhobi from down the road who steam irons out the worst machine washed creases,people who make day to day life easy,people who inconspicuously play important roles in our lives invariably are bhaiyyajis from U.P.They have smoothly woven themselves into the warp and weft of our city,easily communicating with and reaching out to Surtis from all walks of life. Siesta loving Surtis would rather find an easier means of living than slog.
Take an autorickshaw ride around Tapitown and you will get to know interesting tales from the native of India’s heartland.80% of Surat’s rickshaw drivers are from Uttar Pradesh. Gentle prodding often results in a great story from the lonely choras of Ganga kinaras; who lead lives of’khoon, pasina and ganja.’ I once learnt how Benarasi bhang is smuggled into the town hidden neatly among packets of sing -channas that are brought in with the migrants. Consumed to celebrate happy occasions, it is provided generously to all who come asking for it during Holi, Shivratri and other festivities.
Surtis are passionate about food .Other than their staple diet, they regularly relish, naans and Paneer makhani, Soda shikanjvis, Samosas and Nalli Niharis, Dum phukt biryanis and tikkas-kebabs; in short all the cuisine from the land of the Nawabs.Most of our restaurants and bakeries have chefs and bakers from U.P. Masters of the North Indian cuisine; they provide Surtis yummy, finger licking delights.
Easily the largest community involved in laborious jobs around our town; for them their work is their worship. A way of life however difficult the chore. They believe each city has its own special field.’ Delhi mein rajniti, Lucknow mein khaana, Jaipur mein ghoomna, Mumbai mein phillum line aur gaana, Surat mein, ’toh note chaapney ki machine hai, mehnat se paisa kamaana ki.’ Is their mantra.
Ask any of them ,’Bhaiyyaji aap kahaan ke hai?’ and the prompt reply generally is ,’Hum Hindustani hai.’Little wonder then that they speak in Hindi, our National language, the Lingua Franca that makes them feel at home irrespective of whichever part of the country they choose to make their abode.
*‘God created man, provided him body and soul; But alas! The man committed a mistake, had to leave home and be a foreigner.’That’s the translation to Khusrau’s riddle; the answer to it is –Adam.
Bidhna ne ek purkh banaya, tiriya di aur naeh lagaya.
Chook hui kuch wa sey aisee, des chhod hua pardesi.*
These lines are a riddle by Amir Khusrau,India’s esteemed ,prolific poet .He who is known to have introduced ghazals to the world, whose tender words ignite love into hearts and spring tears into the eyes.Khusrau was a master of both Hindi and Persian ; his couplets often intermingled the two languages, bringing out new meanings from the puns involved. He hailed from Uttar Pradesh, the soil of origin of Ramlila and Qawallis.
In fact Uttar Pradesh has literally been the abode of our country’s best literature.Valmiki and Vyaasa,Kabir and Ghalib,Premchand , Vishnu Sarma [ Panchtantra],Mirza Hadi Ruswa[umrao jaan],Naushad to Majrooh Sultanpuri the list is endless. Famous freedom fighters, most of our Prime Ministers, numerous talented actors, directors, musicians and singers are from U.P.-The birth place of Lord Rama and Krishna.
Closer home, there are various faces of talented and hard working U.P.bhaiyyajis that we see in our day to day lives.........
Other than the educated babu brigade in white collar jobs, our dependence on this community is phenomenal.
The first phone calls that go out in the morning from most sub urban homes in Surat are those to the vegetable vendor .One of whom is Mishraji and his troupe of men at Parle Point ,ever ready to home deliver ordered goods .Whether its broccoli or bhaji, kiwi or kakdi.He makes sure that his clients are always happy .Sardar market, Surat’s wholesale subzimandi ,is abuzz as early as 4.a.m.with men like Mishraji who make sure that they hastily carry fresh farm produce to all the nakas and sheris of Tapi town.Whats more ,if you ever need a maharaj[cook] or driver ,Mishraji’s network is far more trustworthy and effecient than any other placement agency to find someone apropos to the job.
Most of the security guards and elevator operators in apartments and at offices; not to mention the energetic Man Fridays around the textile market who toil relentlessly under heavy burdens are from the land of Nehru.Also, industrialists who run looms and weaving machines, prefer labourers from U.P.since they work the hardest often putting in 24 hour shifts in exchange of meagre compensation. Resorting to just a quick break for khichdi and aloo pyaaz sabzi as relief. Rare for locals to do that.
During the Plague and post the floods, when most Surtis abandoned town, it is this community who stayed back, working away due to their vulnerability, even as things slowly paced back to normal.
The steaming chai lahris from Varaccha to Pandesara,that constantly concoct refreshing cuppas of cutting tea, the innumerable Benarasi Paanwalas from Citylight to Chautapul who artistically prepare ‘teen items’ and ‘magai jodis,’the enthusiastic dhobi from down the road who steam irons out the worst machine washed creases,people who make day to day life easy,people who inconspicuously play important roles in our lives invariably are bhaiyyajis from U.P.They have smoothly woven themselves into the warp and weft of our city,easily communicating with and reaching out to Surtis from all walks of life. Siesta loving Surtis would rather find an easier means of living than slog.
Take an autorickshaw ride around Tapitown and you will get to know interesting tales from the native of India’s heartland.80% of Surat’s rickshaw drivers are from Uttar Pradesh. Gentle prodding often results in a great story from the lonely choras of Ganga kinaras; who lead lives of’khoon, pasina and ganja.’ I once learnt how Benarasi bhang is smuggled into the town hidden neatly among packets of sing -channas that are brought in with the migrants. Consumed to celebrate happy occasions, it is provided generously to all who come asking for it during Holi, Shivratri and other festivities.
Surtis are passionate about food .Other than their staple diet, they regularly relish, naans and Paneer makhani, Soda shikanjvis, Samosas and Nalli Niharis, Dum phukt biryanis and tikkas-kebabs; in short all the cuisine from the land of the Nawabs.Most of our restaurants and bakeries have chefs and bakers from U.P. Masters of the North Indian cuisine; they provide Surtis yummy, finger licking delights.
Easily the largest community involved in laborious jobs around our town; for them their work is their worship. A way of life however difficult the chore. They believe each city has its own special field.’ Delhi mein rajniti, Lucknow mein khaana, Jaipur mein ghoomna, Mumbai mein phillum line aur gaana, Surat mein, ’toh note chaapney ki machine hai, mehnat se paisa kamaana ki.’ Is their mantra.
Ask any of them ,’Bhaiyyaji aap kahaan ke hai?’ and the prompt reply generally is ,’Hum Hindustani hai.’Little wonder then that they speak in Hindi, our National language, the Lingua Franca that makes them feel at home irrespective of whichever part of the country they choose to make their abode.
*‘God created man, provided him body and soul; But alas! The man committed a mistake, had to leave home and be a foreigner.’That’s the translation to Khusrau’s riddle; the answer to it is –Adam.
SINGAPORE SLING, SURTI STYLE……
Whoa! Hold on people before you rush to get your cocktail shakers and potent mixtures. This is not the recipe for a desi version of Singapore’s signature drink. This one is about Tapi town’s wishlist.Ever since the town has been marching towards steady growth and progress faster than most others cities of the world and has been referred to as Gujarat’s financial capital, many Surtis have been seeing the dream of ‘Surat banshey Singapore’. What if Surat were to be Singapore?
Here are some places around town that can be converted to look like the most popular spots of the world’s financial capital…..err, almost…………..
Adajan-Sentosa Island: Since we do have SMC’s much awaited underwater world project coming up here which promises to be bigger and better than the one in Sentosa. To achieve a more authentic approach, we can take a boat ride or construct a cable car ropeway to access it just like Sentosa. Adajan also has a long stretch of land overlooking the Tapi waters where water games and a sound and laser light show can be organized. But Sentosa now has majestic, state of the art, swanky casinos being constructed on it by the owners of Genting highlands, which the law of our land will not permit. So its tough luck for us Surtis.
Tapi river promenade-Clarke quay, Boat quay: The hot n happening place for young tarangs.Music, masti and magic. Till the wee hours of the morning, this place is rocking with its pubs and clubs along the Singapore River. Barbeque and beer along with shooters and hooters are what keeps Clarke Quay flowing with crowds. With SMC planning a riverside promenade by the Tapti in place of the present slums, we could convert it in Clarke Quay, but, wait a minute; booze is taboo in Tapi town so we will have to dampen our spirits and give this a miss as well.
Ghodod Road-Orchard road: Singapore’s famous street that boasts of the world’s best labels from one end to another. Dior and Vuitton rub shoulders with Ferragamo and Chanel. Not to mention the fancy restaurants where the crème de la crème stop by for a quick bite. Our ghodod road is a hotspot haven for shoppers too but it houses scores of unpretentious, tiny shops that do brisk business selling replicas and has hawkers who prepare chatpata sevpuri and yummy vadapav.I have a bad feeling that Takashimaya, Tangs and Robinsons do not have exactly that kind of neighbourhood in mind to branch out; lest they commit a fashion faux pas.
Sarthana zoo- Singapore zoo-This one is pretty close since the Singapore zoo is home to a lot of Indian animals. We also have an enviable butterfly park and aviary in the making. The hindrance here dearies is the timing of the zoo. Whilst Singapore allows visitors from early morning through the day and shares part of its premises for the night safari too, our sarthana zoo functions only for hours few. Singapore’s zoo is one of its highest profit raising tourist spots with animal shows and souvenir shopping provisions; whilst ours will need steep funds and high maintenance to survive ever rising costs.
Dumas-Marina Bay view –Well, we could have resorts planned here and hotels with a view to the Arabian Sea .A Merlion spouting water would be out of question considering the poor dear could choke on the often found dead Dumas fish. Sun bathing, beach volleyball and surfing would be on the Surtis to-do list. Alas! Dearies both you and I know for a fact that dear old Dumas is a beach sans any sand. So unfortunately, this one does not qualify for a makeover like the much in demand reclaimed bay view land.
Surti Flyovers-Singapore Flyer: I know it is not a 360degree panoramic view of our town from atop our ever collapsing man made blunders, but we do have a 365 day access to picnic and stroll over our various flyovers. Surtis visit their flyovers and bridges every Sunday, to park and party the evening away. Unfortunately, after hoardings have been used to hoard bombs, our popular party spots are right now off limits and there is scarce scope to view the town leisurely from over them.
Whether Chautapul becomes China town or Malls turn into Mustafa Centre remains to be seen. All we are left with for now is the dream of an entirely clean, green, Surat. The closest thing we have to Singapore at present is the Singapore Ni wadi in Rustumpura; where the khatri community [that has many N.R.I. s in Singapore] proudly celebrates all its happy occasions.
Frankly, methinks Surat is great the way it is. After all said and done, if Surtis really want it to, Surat surely can be Singapore some day; the question is can Singapore be Surat for a day?
Whoa! Hold on people before you rush to get your cocktail shakers and potent mixtures. This is not the recipe for a desi version of Singapore’s signature drink. This one is about Tapi town’s wishlist.Ever since the town has been marching towards steady growth and progress faster than most others cities of the world and has been referred to as Gujarat’s financial capital, many Surtis have been seeing the dream of ‘Surat banshey Singapore’. What if Surat were to be Singapore?
Here are some places around town that can be converted to look like the most popular spots of the world’s financial capital…..err, almost…………..
Adajan-Sentosa Island: Since we do have SMC’s much awaited underwater world project coming up here which promises to be bigger and better than the one in Sentosa. To achieve a more authentic approach, we can take a boat ride or construct a cable car ropeway to access it just like Sentosa. Adajan also has a long stretch of land overlooking the Tapi waters where water games and a sound and laser light show can be organized. But Sentosa now has majestic, state of the art, swanky casinos being constructed on it by the owners of Genting highlands, which the law of our land will not permit. So its tough luck for us Surtis.
Tapi river promenade-Clarke quay, Boat quay: The hot n happening place for young tarangs.Music, masti and magic. Till the wee hours of the morning, this place is rocking with its pubs and clubs along the Singapore River. Barbeque and beer along with shooters and hooters are what keeps Clarke Quay flowing with crowds. With SMC planning a riverside promenade by the Tapti in place of the present slums, we could convert it in Clarke Quay, but, wait a minute; booze is taboo in Tapi town so we will have to dampen our spirits and give this a miss as well.
Ghodod Road-Orchard road: Singapore’s famous street that boasts of the world’s best labels from one end to another. Dior and Vuitton rub shoulders with Ferragamo and Chanel. Not to mention the fancy restaurants where the crème de la crème stop by for a quick bite. Our ghodod road is a hotspot haven for shoppers too but it houses scores of unpretentious, tiny shops that do brisk business selling replicas and has hawkers who prepare chatpata sevpuri and yummy vadapav.I have a bad feeling that Takashimaya, Tangs and Robinsons do not have exactly that kind of neighbourhood in mind to branch out; lest they commit a fashion faux pas.
Sarthana zoo- Singapore zoo-This one is pretty close since the Singapore zoo is home to a lot of Indian animals. We also have an enviable butterfly park and aviary in the making. The hindrance here dearies is the timing of the zoo. Whilst Singapore allows visitors from early morning through the day and shares part of its premises for the night safari too, our sarthana zoo functions only for hours few. Singapore’s zoo is one of its highest profit raising tourist spots with animal shows and souvenir shopping provisions; whilst ours will need steep funds and high maintenance to survive ever rising costs.
Dumas-Marina Bay view –Well, we could have resorts planned here and hotels with a view to the Arabian Sea .A Merlion spouting water would be out of question considering the poor dear could choke on the often found dead Dumas fish. Sun bathing, beach volleyball and surfing would be on the Surtis to-do list. Alas! Dearies both you and I know for a fact that dear old Dumas is a beach sans any sand. So unfortunately, this one does not qualify for a makeover like the much in demand reclaimed bay view land.
Surti Flyovers-Singapore Flyer: I know it is not a 360degree panoramic view of our town from atop our ever collapsing man made blunders, but we do have a 365 day access to picnic and stroll over our various flyovers. Surtis visit their flyovers and bridges every Sunday, to park and party the evening away. Unfortunately, after hoardings have been used to hoard bombs, our popular party spots are right now off limits and there is scarce scope to view the town leisurely from over them.
Whether Chautapul becomes China town or Malls turn into Mustafa Centre remains to be seen. All we are left with for now is the dream of an entirely clean, green, Surat. The closest thing we have to Singapore at present is the Singapore Ni wadi in Rustumpura; where the khatri community [that has many N.R.I. s in Singapore] proudly celebrates all its happy occasions.
Frankly, methinks Surat is great the way it is. After all said and done, if Surtis really want it to, Surat surely can be Singapore some day; the question is can Singapore be Surat for a day?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
SUREFIRE SURTI VISAPOWER....................
In wake of the most powerful man in Gujarat being denied authorization to enter the U.S of A, there is hearsay that Gujarati Diaspora are on the hunt; apparently, they are looking for the person who granted Bush and allies visa to Iraq.
People are also saying that some sentimental Surtis in Washington, supposedly protested outside the White House singing Altaf Raja’s classic,’Tum toh therey pardesi, saath kyaa nibhaogey?’But the White House feigned ignorance.
Rumours are rife around Tapitown that certain social service groups have pulled up their socks to publish pamphlets that give important tips on how to obtain visa; for the benefit of non Surtis.
The visa pamphlet will be state of the art, after all VIPs will be reading it. Obtaining a visa, particularly to America is as easy as apple pie for us Surtis. Most of our town and hundreds of villages under its jurisdiction have family or friends residing there through sheer Surti skills. Looks like the Surtis are hell-bent on proving that one need not be a rocket scientist or score an aptitude excel to procure an endorsement from the land of uncle Sam. Anyone can get one.Errrr........well, almost.
Speculation is soaring that there might be a Surti survey, asking us to pool in our thoughts and ideas too. A little bird told me that the‘kabootarbaaz clan’ will even be paid for sureshot tips.For the benefit of Non-Surtis [who will need the tips], the pamphlet is supposed to be printed in a bilingual format; Hindi and English. I have for you an exclusive sneak peak on a few of the tips that are proposed for printing..................
In English it will say’ Visa power-Go get it.’ The Hindi one is’ Kabootar ja ja-Dhoondtey reh jaogey.’
1.Dhandhey pey dhyaan do-First of all, officially change your surname to Patel.Next,prepare a blue print of a motel and a proposal for setting up one .Name any remote location in America where you want to set it up, there are never enough motels in the U.S..Visa provided -10 years.
2. Mein bhi Madonna-Join a singing and dance troupe for the upcoming Navratri festival.Enroll yourself for singing classes and render out a ‘sanedo’ in the visa office. Make sure they stamp on ‘granted’ before they run for cover thinking it’s an audio terror attack. Visa term -3 months.
3. Bhavna o ko samjho-Arrange a mock marriage with your visiting friend, cousin or stranger from the U.S., take along enormous wedding picture album for authenticity. Make sure you have the mehndi pics too. Yankees love tattoos. Visa power-green card nominee.
4. Chak de kamaal-Organise a team of players who play lakhotis, gillidanda and ambli pipli.Tell the authorities you need to create worldwide awareness towards these sports for official entry to the 2012 London Olympics since Gujarat has no representative for the same, yet. Visa permit-6 months.
5. Dur Darshan-Say you need to attend an international seminar of an Indian guru gyaani.Since tickets are not available for national ones and Indian electronic media is advising ‘baba-darr, shun’. You will also tour to visit temples abroad and throw in a trip to the Grand Canyon on your to do list; never mind if you end up going to Vegas instead. Visa wish-1 year.
6. Bachey budhey aur jawan-A popular one for family transfer; Gather neighbourhood kids, adults ,oldies and prepare an invitation of cultural inter school camp/medical treatment camp/Disneyland trip. More the merrier also has added benefit of a free ticket. Visa required-2 weeks [often self converted to lifetime]
Unfortunately, our esteemed chief minister cannot avail any of the above tips. He is a famous figure and a CM, not a common man. Since 2005, he is being sanctioned only a VC [video conference] and not a visa.
Tattle from a loose tongued Dallas Surti last week was that he had heard that American Gujaratis might shift the Chalo Gujarat celebration venue from U.S. to China next year.
Then there was word from the educated New York Surtis that all important Gujarati NRIs might visit Gujarat next year.’ What is that one about the mountain going to Mohammed?”They asked.
Many Surtis now feel that in future,our CM should refuse to visit America. Even if they roll out the red carpet for him and allow him a bumper diplomat package deal, he must deny the desire. It is said Surtis are very hurt; by repeatedly denying permit, they feel Washington has violated his human right, the right to an American visa.
For,when it comes to visas or permit, Surtis maintain,’Haq se maango!’
In wake of the most powerful man in Gujarat being denied authorization to enter the U.S of A, there is hearsay that Gujarati Diaspora are on the hunt; apparently, they are looking for the person who granted Bush and allies visa to Iraq.
People are also saying that some sentimental Surtis in Washington, supposedly protested outside the White House singing Altaf Raja’s classic,’Tum toh therey pardesi, saath kyaa nibhaogey?’But the White House feigned ignorance.
Rumours are rife around Tapitown that certain social service groups have pulled up their socks to publish pamphlets that give important tips on how to obtain visa; for the benefit of non Surtis.
The visa pamphlet will be state of the art, after all VIPs will be reading it. Obtaining a visa, particularly to America is as easy as apple pie for us Surtis. Most of our town and hundreds of villages under its jurisdiction have family or friends residing there through sheer Surti skills. Looks like the Surtis are hell-bent on proving that one need not be a rocket scientist or score an aptitude excel to procure an endorsement from the land of uncle Sam. Anyone can get one.Errrr........well, almost.
Speculation is soaring that there might be a Surti survey, asking us to pool in our thoughts and ideas too. A little bird told me that the‘kabootarbaaz clan’ will even be paid for sureshot tips.For the benefit of Non-Surtis [who will need the tips], the pamphlet is supposed to be printed in a bilingual format; Hindi and English. I have for you an exclusive sneak peak on a few of the tips that are proposed for printing..................
In English it will say’ Visa power-Go get it.’ The Hindi one is’ Kabootar ja ja-Dhoondtey reh jaogey.’
1.Dhandhey pey dhyaan do-First of all, officially change your surname to Patel.Next,prepare a blue print of a motel and a proposal for setting up one .Name any remote location in America where you want to set it up, there are never enough motels in the U.S..Visa provided -10 years.
2. Mein bhi Madonna-Join a singing and dance troupe for the upcoming Navratri festival.Enroll yourself for singing classes and render out a ‘sanedo’ in the visa office. Make sure they stamp on ‘granted’ before they run for cover thinking it’s an audio terror attack. Visa term -3 months.
3. Bhavna o ko samjho-Arrange a mock marriage with your visiting friend, cousin or stranger from the U.S., take along enormous wedding picture album for authenticity. Make sure you have the mehndi pics too. Yankees love tattoos. Visa power-green card nominee.
4. Chak de kamaal-Organise a team of players who play lakhotis, gillidanda and ambli pipli.Tell the authorities you need to create worldwide awareness towards these sports for official entry to the 2012 London Olympics since Gujarat has no representative for the same, yet. Visa permit-6 months.
5. Dur Darshan-Say you need to attend an international seminar of an Indian guru gyaani.Since tickets are not available for national ones and Indian electronic media is advising ‘baba-darr, shun’. You will also tour to visit temples abroad and throw in a trip to the Grand Canyon on your to do list; never mind if you end up going to Vegas instead. Visa wish-1 year.
6. Bachey budhey aur jawan-A popular one for family transfer; Gather neighbourhood kids, adults ,oldies and prepare an invitation of cultural inter school camp/medical treatment camp/Disneyland trip. More the merrier also has added benefit of a free ticket. Visa required-2 weeks [often self converted to lifetime]
Unfortunately, our esteemed chief minister cannot avail any of the above tips. He is a famous figure and a CM, not a common man. Since 2005, he is being sanctioned only a VC [video conference] and not a visa.
Tattle from a loose tongued Dallas Surti last week was that he had heard that American Gujaratis might shift the Chalo Gujarat celebration venue from U.S. to China next year.
Then there was word from the educated New York Surtis that all important Gujarati NRIs might visit Gujarat next year.’ What is that one about the mountain going to Mohammed?”They asked.
Many Surtis now feel that in future,our CM should refuse to visit America. Even if they roll out the red carpet for him and allow him a bumper diplomat package deal, he must deny the desire. It is said Surtis are very hurt; by repeatedly denying permit, they feel Washington has violated his human right, the right to an American visa.
For,when it comes to visas or permit, Surtis maintain,’Haq se maango!’
Thursday, September 4, 2008
SINDHUDURG: SPONSORED BY SURTI SPOILS.............
‘You think we should get our signboards translated in Gujarati, to make Surtis aware of the state language?”I was solicited at a party last Saturday.
‘How would that help the language?”I questioned.
‘No, I mean to Roman Gujarati like Ahmadabad’s advertising boards that write ‘Na hoy!’ in English and ‘jhed blue’ in Gujarati.
‘You mean Jade Blue? Yes? But how will that promote the state language?”
‘Hmm.....our traders are lucky we don’t insist on them to change shop names to ‘Dhiraj Na poiraao,’ ‘paschim baju’ and so on, to benefit the vernacular verse. Why don’t you write a piece about how tolerant Surtis are?’I was then asked.
’I did one, on how we always have welcomed migrants from all over the country ,the world and have even adopted many of their customs.’
‘And which other city in the world would proudly, with great respect, have a statue on its main road of a warrior who had once sacked the very city?’
‘None that I know of. Shivaji, Chatrapati is considered one of the greatest conquerors in the history of Indian warfare. He was also known to be an intelligent and just ruler who showed respect to all places of worship, preists of all religions and protected women and children.’
‘Did you know Shivaji raided Surat 16 times?
‘Well, he was known to be a master strategist and a brave warrior. History says he plundered Surat twice, once in 1664 and then in 1670.The first time was considered as an act of revenge because Shiasta khan had looted Maratha territory. The Mughals who then ruled Surat were not prepared for his invasion, so Surat was sacked .It was the richest port and also the pride of the Mughals. The Mughal governor, Inayat Khan was known to be corrupt, though Aurungzeb had ordered an army of 5000 to be appointed, he had hired only 1000 soldiers to defend Surat and pocketed the rest of the money. He locked himself in the fort of Surat and failed to protect the town as well as the Mughal and Portuguese trading centres; but the British governor George Oxenden and his men, put up a brave fight, thus protecting the English factory from invasion.
‘Shivaji looted Surat and jumped his horse over the river, dumped all the riches in the Tapti.’
‘He knew better than to do that. The loot was stored in the cellars of the Raigadh fort. Most of the money [more than a crore in the first raid of 1664] went towards creating a standing army and navy that was disciplined and well paid. A large part of it also went in the making of the fort that is considered Maharashtra’s glory-Sindhurdurg; meaning the fort in the Sea. Nestled at the foot of the Sahyadri mountain range, on the Konkan coastline, surrounded by the Arabian Sea on three sides. It took 4000 mounds of iron for casting .Its foundation stones were laid down in lead which had to be brought in by boats since sea was the only route of access.Sindhurdurg has many temples, wells, a sweet water lake and a secret passage to escape from within it. It is, also, the only place where a temple of Shivaji stands.’
‘So, you are saying that this grand architectural wonder-Sindhudurg was made by the money that belonged to the rich traders of Surat?’
‘Well yes, but after the plunder, to the victor went the spoils.’
‘Do you think we should approach Mr. Raj Thackeray with this detail? I mean, he does so deeply understand the glory and pride of a state and its people. He says he fights for the cause of justice to history.'
‘Yes, but what do you want to ask of him?’
‘Why, renaming Sindhudurg of course! I am sure he would agree to at least a Gujarati signboard, with a brief history; for the benefit of Surti tourists.’
Needless to say, I was speechless.
‘You think we should get our signboards translated in Gujarati, to make Surtis aware of the state language?”I was solicited at a party last Saturday.
‘How would that help the language?”I questioned.
‘No, I mean to Roman Gujarati like Ahmadabad’s advertising boards that write ‘Na hoy!’ in English and ‘jhed blue’ in Gujarati.
‘You mean Jade Blue? Yes? But how will that promote the state language?”
‘Hmm.....our traders are lucky we don’t insist on them to change shop names to ‘Dhiraj Na poiraao,’ ‘paschim baju’ and so on, to benefit the vernacular verse. Why don’t you write a piece about how tolerant Surtis are?’I was then asked.
’I did one, on how we always have welcomed migrants from all over the country ,the world and have even adopted many of their customs.’
‘And which other city in the world would proudly, with great respect, have a statue on its main road of a warrior who had once sacked the very city?’
‘None that I know of. Shivaji, Chatrapati is considered one of the greatest conquerors in the history of Indian warfare. He was also known to be an intelligent and just ruler who showed respect to all places of worship, preists of all religions and protected women and children.’
‘Did you know Shivaji raided Surat 16 times?
‘Well, he was known to be a master strategist and a brave warrior. History says he plundered Surat twice, once in 1664 and then in 1670.The first time was considered as an act of revenge because Shiasta khan had looted Maratha territory. The Mughals who then ruled Surat were not prepared for his invasion, so Surat was sacked .It was the richest port and also the pride of the Mughals. The Mughal governor, Inayat Khan was known to be corrupt, though Aurungzeb had ordered an army of 5000 to be appointed, he had hired only 1000 soldiers to defend Surat and pocketed the rest of the money. He locked himself in the fort of Surat and failed to protect the town as well as the Mughal and Portuguese trading centres; but the British governor George Oxenden and his men, put up a brave fight, thus protecting the English factory from invasion.
‘Shivaji looted Surat and jumped his horse over the river, dumped all the riches in the Tapti.’
‘He knew better than to do that. The loot was stored in the cellars of the Raigadh fort. Most of the money [more than a crore in the first raid of 1664] went towards creating a standing army and navy that was disciplined and well paid. A large part of it also went in the making of the fort that is considered Maharashtra’s glory-Sindhurdurg; meaning the fort in the Sea. Nestled at the foot of the Sahyadri mountain range, on the Konkan coastline, surrounded by the Arabian Sea on three sides. It took 4000 mounds of iron for casting .Its foundation stones were laid down in lead which had to be brought in by boats since sea was the only route of access.Sindhurdurg has many temples, wells, a sweet water lake and a secret passage to escape from within it. It is, also, the only place where a temple of Shivaji stands.’
‘So, you are saying that this grand architectural wonder-Sindhudurg was made by the money that belonged to the rich traders of Surat?’
‘Well yes, but after the plunder, to the victor went the spoils.’
‘Do you think we should approach Mr. Raj Thackeray with this detail? I mean, he does so deeply understand the glory and pride of a state and its people. He says he fights for the cause of justice to history.'
‘Yes, but what do you want to ask of him?’
‘Why, renaming Sindhudurg of course! I am sure he would agree to at least a Gujarati signboard, with a brief history; for the benefit of Surti tourists.’
Needless to say, I was speechless.
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