ONEROUS SOORATS OF OUR U.P.BROTHERS................
Bidhna ne ek purkh banaya, tiriya di aur naeh lagaya.
Chook hui kuch wa sey aisee, des chhod hua pardesi.*
These lines are a riddle by Amir Khusrau,India’s esteemed ,prolific poet .He who is known to have introduced ghazals to the world, whose tender words ignite love into hearts and spring tears into the eyes.Khusrau was a master of both Hindi and Persian ; his couplets often intermingled the two languages, bringing out new meanings from the puns involved. He hailed from Uttar Pradesh, the soil of origin of Ramlila and Qawallis.
In fact Uttar Pradesh has literally been the abode of our country’s best literature.Valmiki and Vyaasa,Kabir and Ghalib,Premchand , Vishnu Sarma [ Panchtantra],Mirza Hadi Ruswa[umrao jaan],Naushad to Majrooh Sultanpuri the list is endless. Famous freedom fighters, most of our Prime Ministers, numerous talented actors, directors, musicians and singers are from U.P.-The birth place of Lord Rama and Krishna.
Closer home, there are various faces of talented and hard working U.P.bhaiyyajis that we see in our day to day lives.........
Other than the educated babu brigade in white collar jobs, our dependence on this community is phenomenal.
The first phone calls that go out in the morning from most sub urban homes in Surat are those to the vegetable vendor .One of whom is Mishraji and his troupe of men at Parle Point ,ever ready to home deliver ordered goods .Whether its broccoli or bhaji, kiwi or kakdi.He makes sure that his clients are always happy .Sardar market, Surat’s wholesale subzimandi ,is abuzz as early as 4.a.m.with men like Mishraji who make sure that they hastily carry fresh farm produce to all the nakas and sheris of Tapi town.Whats more ,if you ever need a maharaj[cook] or driver ,Mishraji’s network is far more trustworthy and effecient than any other placement agency to find someone apropos to the job.
Most of the security guards and elevator operators in apartments and at offices; not to mention the energetic Man Fridays around the textile market who toil relentlessly under heavy burdens are from the land of Nehru.Also, industrialists who run looms and weaving machines, prefer labourers from U.P.since they work the hardest often putting in 24 hour shifts in exchange of meagre compensation. Resorting to just a quick break for khichdi and aloo pyaaz sabzi as relief. Rare for locals to do that.
During the Plague and post the floods, when most Surtis abandoned town, it is this community who stayed back, working away due to their vulnerability, even as things slowly paced back to normal.
The steaming chai lahris from Varaccha to Pandesara,that constantly concoct refreshing cuppas of cutting tea, the innumerable Benarasi Paanwalas from Citylight to Chautapul who artistically prepare ‘teen items’ and ‘magai jodis,’the enthusiastic dhobi from down the road who steam irons out the worst machine washed creases,people who make day to day life easy,people who inconspicuously play important roles in our lives invariably are bhaiyyajis from U.P.They have smoothly woven themselves into the warp and weft of our city,easily communicating with and reaching out to Surtis from all walks of life. Siesta loving Surtis would rather find an easier means of living than slog.
Take an autorickshaw ride around Tapitown and you will get to know interesting tales from the native of India’s heartland.80% of Surat’s rickshaw drivers are from Uttar Pradesh. Gentle prodding often results in a great story from the lonely choras of Ganga kinaras; who lead lives of’khoon, pasina and ganja.’ I once learnt how Benarasi bhang is smuggled into the town hidden neatly among packets of sing -channas that are brought in with the migrants. Consumed to celebrate happy occasions, it is provided generously to all who come asking for it during Holi, Shivratri and other festivities.
Surtis are passionate about food .Other than their staple diet, they regularly relish, naans and Paneer makhani, Soda shikanjvis, Samosas and Nalli Niharis, Dum phukt biryanis and tikkas-kebabs; in short all the cuisine from the land of the Nawabs.Most of our restaurants and bakeries have chefs and bakers from U.P. Masters of the North Indian cuisine; they provide Surtis yummy, finger licking delights.
Easily the largest community involved in laborious jobs around our town; for them their work is their worship. A way of life however difficult the chore. They believe each city has its own special field.’ Delhi mein rajniti, Lucknow mein khaana, Jaipur mein ghoomna, Mumbai mein phillum line aur gaana, Surat mein, ’toh note chaapney ki machine hai, mehnat se paisa kamaana ki.’ Is their mantra.
Ask any of them ,’Bhaiyyaji aap kahaan ke hai?’ and the prompt reply generally is ,’Hum Hindustani hai.’Little wonder then that they speak in Hindi, our National language, the Lingua Franca that makes them feel at home irrespective of whichever part of the country they choose to make their abode.
*‘God created man, provided him body and soul; But alas! The man committed a mistake, had to leave home and be a foreigner.’That’s the translation to Khusrau’s riddle; the answer to it is –Adam.

SINDHUDURG: SPONSORED BY SURTI SPOILS.............
‘You think we should get our signboards translated in Gujarati, to make Surtis aware of the state language?”I was solicited at a party last Saturday.
‘How would that help the language?”I questioned.
‘No, I mean to Roman Gujarati like Ahmadabad’s advertising boards that write ‘Na hoy!’ in English and ‘jhed blue’ in Gujarati.
‘You mean Jade Blue? Yes? But how will that promote the state language?”
‘Hmm.....our traders are lucky we don’t insist on them to change shop names to ‘Dhiraj Na poiraao,’ ‘paschim baju’ and so on, to benefit the vernacular verse. Why don’t you write a piece about how tolerant Surtis are?’I was then asked.
’I did one, on how we always have welcomed migrants from all over the country ,the world and have even adopted many of their customs.’
‘And which other city in the world would proudly, with great respect, have a statue on its main road of a warrior who had once sacked the very city?’
‘None that I know of. Shivaji, Chatrapati is considered one of the greatest conquerors in the history of Indian warfare. He was also known to be an intelligent and just ruler who showed respect to all places of worship, preists of all religions and protected women and children.’
‘Did you know Shivaji raided Surat 16 times?
‘Well, he was known to be a master strategist and a brave warrior. History says he plundered Surat twice, once in 1664 and then in 1670.The first time was considered as an act of revenge because Shiasta khan had looted Maratha territory. The Mughals who then ruled Surat were not prepared for his invasion, so Surat was sacked .It was the richest port and also the pride of the Mughals. The Mughal governor, Inayat Khan was known to be corrupt, though Aurungzeb had ordered an army of 5000 to be appointed, he had hired only 1000 soldiers to defend Surat and pocketed the rest of the money. He locked himself in the fort of Surat and failed to protect the town as well as the Mughal and Portuguese trading centres; but the British governor George Oxenden and his men, put up a brave fight, thus protecting the English factory from invasion.
‘Shivaji looted Surat and jumped his horse over the river, dumped all the riches in the Tapti.’
‘He knew better than to do that. The loot was stored in the cellars of the Raigadh fort. Most of the money [more than a crore in the first raid of 1664] went towards creating a standing army and navy that was disciplined and well paid. A large part of it also went in the making of the fort that is considered Maharashtra’s glory-Sindhurdurg; meaning the fort in the Sea. Nestled at the foot of the Sahyadri mountain range, on the Konkan coastline, surrounded by the Arabian Sea on three sides. It took 4000 mounds of iron for casting .Its foundation stones were laid down in lead which had to be brought in by boats since sea was the only route of access.Sindhurdurg has many temples, wells, a sweet water lake and a secret passage to escape from within it. It is, also, the only place where a temple of Shivaji stands.’
‘So, you are saying that this grand architectural wonder-Sindhudurg was made by the money that belonged to the rich traders of Surat?’
‘Well yes, but after the plunder, to the victor went the spoils.’
‘Do you think we should approach Mr. Raj Thackeray with this detail? I mean, he does so deeply understand the glory and pride of a state and its people. He says he fights for the cause of justice to history.'
‘Yes, but what do you want to ask of him?’
‘Why, renaming Sindhudurg of course! I am sure he would agree to at least a Gujarati signboard, with a brief history; for the benefit of Surti tourists.’
Needless to say, I was speechless.

SOS= SPIRIT OF SURAT...................
We live in these times, where ‘fear factor’ is not just a daring reality show with Akshay kumar and 13 beauties but also a way of life for us. These days, humans protect places of worship to God. After innocent Ahmedabadis bore the brunt of some of the worst terror attacks the country has ever experienced, it seems Surat was supposed to be next in line when the faceless cowards planned city,city,bang!bang! Or was it? As speculation along with innumerable rumours surround us it seems as though nothing can shock us Surtis anymore. It is not as if we treat death or issues related to it as frivolous, but fact remains that our aam janta is handling this matter quiet casually.
Surat’s favourite new reality show on t.v. is the live coverage of the discovery and defusing of non functioning live bombs. Found around prime crowded areas, within Tapi town. In these days of high alert, it seems the Surtis have proved to be more alert than the governing bodies. Almost all the explosive material has been discovered by Surtis .As if that was not enough; a couple of Surtis calmly carried these bombs and left them in the middle of the road or near a police station for further investigation! Thank God for small mercies, the bombs turned out to be ‘sursuriyas’ [kaput crackers].
The bomb defusing ceremony seems to have turned into a circus of sorts. Once the lime green packet is found [all so far in same colour], 25 and counting, the press reaches there and hoards of people gather around taking personal videos on their mobiles. Then, after the Surtis discuss how the bomb was discovered; the Surti bomb squad-our brave gang of 4 arrives on the scene. Do note that at present we have just one protective bodysuit between these brave men. So, one of them wears the gear but not the helmet [too heavy and claustrophobic] whilst the others assist in plain clothes and bare hands.
The bombs are then picked up, dissected and defused. All this is witnessed by hundreds of people from close distance as they cheer and capture the moment in their mobiles. The bomb squad is made to pose for pictures, holding the dissected paraphernalia. What is it that makes this team so brave? How on earth do they show the courage to defuse live bombs so casually? Are they not worried because these bombs are low impact ones? Also, most Surtis are treating the matter as an entertainment event. One does hope that in the coming days, some adventurous youngster does not try to ape this act! The public probably think this is a piece of cake to handle. Let’s not forget that the bomb in adajan garden that blew up on 25th of May this year might have been a trial run.
On the business front, Surtis who earn from Rs. 50 to the ones that earn RS.50, 000 daily are complaining that business has seen bad days and will further suffer if they stay indoors, so in spite fear in their hearts; they are trying to resume a normal worklife, even if it is for a limited time period. As far as their personal lives are concerned, some are thinking of taking a holiday and yet others are finding means to entertain themselves indoors with card parties, watching movies in their home theatres or organising parties at private farms. The Surat standard time for socialising now begins at 8p.m instead of 10 p.m.

The lesson that Surtis have learnt in the past five days are-
1. Everybody now knows who the mayor is and what he looks like.
2. The administration is, as clueless as we are.
3. Cautious Surtis are the sole reason that our city has been safe so far.
4. The new colour for danger is lime green not red.
5.’There is no need to fear’, our C.M.has bravely stated this advice .
SOS-The signal used as a sign for save our souls in times for distress, stands for ‘sursuriyas of surat’ it also stands for ‘Spirit of Surat’ and that dearies is what keeps us ticking.

SURTI NAMESAKES; THE STORIES WITHIN…………..
‘Whats in a name?’ asked Shakespeare’s Juliet,’ That which we call a rose, by any other would smell as sweet.’ Who better than us Surtis would understand these lines? After all, our Gulab ben from down the lane goes to America and literally turns into Ms Rose [though am not too sure about the fragrance bit]. While the country’s hottie, miss .Shetty considered it infra dig to be called out by an ill pronounced name and made big bucks on’ Big brother’ in the bargain; most Surti NRI’S are ever ready to turn their names around. So, Rambhai becomes Raymon, Tarun turns to Tom and Sulbha is Sue making it all the more smoother for business, communication and dreams in uncle Sam’s land come true. Inspite of not being as tongue twisting as Czechoslovakian names, surnames too, get baptized from,’ thakker to tucker ‘,’bharucha to brooch’ so on.

These days, its not just email that requires this task of converting your name into a fancy i.d; in fact if you have noticed, a lot of our local crowd has started naming their kiddos with phoren names which are called out with desi surnames. Other than being inspired from English serials and movies, Greek dictionaries and Italian recepies to name the apples of their eye, some Surtis also name their off springs with ‘exclusive ‘names so that they are unique like ,’zill’,’fenil’,chiluka’,’kauli’etc.Of course, since commoners do not dare to use the same, its mission accomplished for the innovative familial trait. The Ghachi community in Surat was long ago nicknamed German because more often than not, they would call their children by German names.

Getting back to name changing, in the days of yore, while most of their friends were named after gods, precious metals and nature, a lot of Surti babies were unfortunately named ‘kachra’aur ‘bhikno’ due to superstitions, if they kept falling ill.Then, if some misfortune were to befall the family or some action out of the ordinary was followed, it would turn into a surname changing event! The entire clan would carry funny and unattractive surnames [read profane and poppycock] to ward off the evil eye. One such example is the surname ‘G…ghavalia’ that once existed in Surat, which, interpreted to the politest form in English reads…… Err,’ rear back scratchers!’ Fortunately for the grandchildren, better sense prevailed in the previous generation who opted for a more decent switch rather than using the one with an itch, after having gone through the grind of announcing the same with a hitch. Jherpidhara, Bhenchoi#a, Pavli, Tikko too, have been understandably discarded. Whilst Motidoomwala, Bhesnapadiyawala still survive.

As is the case and culture with most generations of Indians, we Surtis too, carry the surnames that were passed down by our ancestors. So named due to the business they were in, to culturally express and define who they were rather than stating religion or caste unlike other Indians- Jariwala, Doodhwala, Darji, Gajjar, Vakharia, Kadiwala, Reshamwala, Kapadia, Kaanchwala, Daruwala; the list is endless. The Parsis on the other hand, preferred to be known by the hometowns and villages they had settled in hence the surnames Dumasia, Balsara, Billimoria, Anklesaria, Pardiwala, Amroliwala, Udvadia...

During the 16th and 17th century in Surat, most neighborhoods within the inner city and outer city were named after the individuals or clans that then resided there. Gopipura, Haripura, Rustompura, Sonifalia, Nanavat, Golwaad, Timalyawad are some such areas that thus came into being. Our city also has some uniquely named areas like, ‘paani ni bheet’,’rani talav’,’machhlipit’ ’ruwala no tekro’ -meaning cotton mountain where mattresses were once traded,’chakkapir’,’hodi bunglow’,’ravan no taad’ -named after a monstrous tree’,’makkai pul’ -which actually was the bridge from which the Hajjis going to Mecca would board their ships and many more such, which do not make sense now but have a story behind their existence.

Forget just the denizens and destinations; in fact, Tapi town itself has had numerous names down the ages. From Suryapuri [since the Tapti is Suryaputri, the Sun god’s daughter] to Suraj, to Surata to Surat, we have come a long way. So, watch out world, before you ask us,’tera naam kyaa hai, Surti?’You never know what we may have in store because in lalaland [or is it ‘walaland’?] we have namesakes galore!

SURAT’S SPRING SERENADE….............
Holi days are here again! No baba, am not talking about this week that is full of holidays, inspite of the fact that we have Idd, Good Friday, Holi, Easter, all lined up. Am talking of how the entire week past and present is being colourfully celebrated by us Rangeela Surtis. Though Dhuleti is officially at the end of the week, denizens are at it already, there is colour abound all around Tapi town! Everybody is celebrating in their own style, here is a peek:
SMC -Holi Special, H2O-The Surat Municipal Corporation is celebrating Holi since the past 10 days. They are regularly supplying us yellow coloured water to drink, wash and bathe to remind us Phagun is here .Though some spoilsports are constantly complaining about the hygiene hassles of the same. Nevertheless, the corporation is working really hard to maintain the festive mood with the colour density getting deeper by the day. Watch out, by dhuleti you may discover a new shade of brown flowing from your taps if you co-operate with the corporation and do not dampen the SMC’s Holi spirit.

GROCERS- Rang Le, Basanti-It’s the most resplendent time of the year for our spice suppliers. Lanes all over Surat have little dunes of Lal Mirchi powder, Mustard Haldi, Lime Green Dhania powder, Brown Jeera, resting under even more colourful tents .From roadsides of Parvat Patia to Bhatar, Ghodod to Varachha, masala makers are tempting Surti housewives to hoard the same; Rang De their spice storage space this spring season with chili, turmeric, coriander and cumin.

KIDS- Maar, Daala!-Of course this is one festival where spoilt Surti kids have their loving parents spend unlimited moolah on fancy squirters from China and toxic colours from Sachin/Pandesara. But the kids as usual have a mind of their own. If you have been smacked with a smelly plastic pouch in the past week, you will know what I mean. Terraces and balconies have been converted into fortresses by the bachha brigade. Giggling away as they have a go, hurling water packed plastic bags and pouches on unsuspecting pedestrians and riders. It is sad to see how parents support this act of polluting the Town, body and mind with marksmanship; they treat the matter so lightly.

MITHAI -Magic Mantra-The onset of the colour festival has inspired our sweet meat makers to display an array of edible rainbow coloured preparations, along with multi coloured legal addictives like Kewra,Saffron, Pistachio and Rose thandai. Consuming the same will help you instantly colour your internal organs as well, lest you complaint that Holi is only skin deep.
’Holi Hai! Yaar.’so, make sure you spread the smiles.
So folks, even though the D-day is at the other end of this week, we Surtis have been celebrating a vibgyor Dhuleti routine. Jokes apart, do try and spend this fun festival with family and friends in an Eco- friendly way. Celebrate spring in true Surti style, colour Tapi town with Peace, Love and Happiness. Forget past differences because,
SURTI LALAS -Ab Tera Kya Hoga Lala?-Keeping up with the colour theme, this Surti lot is going Pink, Crimson, Red in the face since some time now, as they own up to or try to explain their Tax return goof ups of the past. Without even a sip of bhaang, they claim to be seeing multi coloured stars in broad daylight during the I T department’s survey sessions!

ARTISTIC DISILLUSION……………Recently, certain members of Indian society called upon a boycott on all Godrej products. Reason being; the owners of the said company had hosted author Salman Rushdie at their guest house. This caused a divide in staunch followers of both religion and brand paraphernalia; but this column is not about that.
Rushdie dwells in London also the present place of residence to one of our most well known and commercially successful contemporary artist.Mr.Hussain who needs no introduction, is cooling heels in London. He lives in exile because through his art, he has upset the feelings of certain individuals by what they thought was as unacceptable form of representation.
Getting back to art, four years ago, Mr.Hussain had visited Surat. The occasion was the grand opening of one of the most beautiful art galleries in India .Also; the only gallery in Surat that displays art [since the other two are rented out to bored rich housewives who display their fancy wares for a quick buck in copied versions of original paintings]. After addressing a packed audience that sat in awe, Hussain promptly painted a scene from his childhood that depicted a child, his bicycle and his mother .It is displayed here along with many of his other works. The said gallery is within the Bela mills compound and is owned by Garden. Originally an English factory, this mill still retains its old world charisma. A heritage in itself, with its octagonal brick chimneys, majestic wooden beams and roofs that seem sky high. The private collection of paintings and sculptures within is a wish list for every art lover. Works by S.H.Raza, Tyeb Mehta, K.H.Ara, N.S.Bendre to name a few, proudly share space on the huge walls. Many a painting sought after by the National Gallery of Modern Art lies locked here. This exclusive and invaluable gallery which was presented to the Surtis as a culture gift was shut down to public viewing after it was gate crashed and vandalized on 29-1-2004 by certain members of our ‘aam janta’.Objecting to a couple of paintings portrayed which they thought were offensive to their religious sentiments, they destroyed eight priceless ones in the bargain.
Coming back to art-’Tapti’ as the collection is named, is home to over 150 works of several superb masters, one of whom is Bhupen Khakhar, who studied at the Faculty of Fine Arts in Vadodra. Lately, the same Faculty was attacked by people whose national sentiments were hurt by the artistic expressions on some college students ‘canvas.
Anyway; getting back to what we are talking about, lets know more about Bhupen Khakhar -brilliant, by far one of India’s greatest painters. Mr. Misunderstood, he was known as the ‘enfant terrible’ in the Indian Art circuit and nobody other than his
Colleagues understood the method in his madness. He began painting at the age of 28 and surprised critics with his bold impressions.Brave enough in his times to announce to an oppressive world that he was a homosexual. This accountant turned artist’s masterpieces were dubbed as ‘gay’ and proscribed by starchy officials and art critics who found his audacity unacceptable. Though the Indian media was then intolerant towards the spectacular works of this Master, he received International acclaim thus putting Vadodra on the art world map. Posthumously; his paintings are a rage and constantly in demand. An extensive collection of his fine works lies locked and secure in Surat staring out at other contemporary paintings, behind what I suspect are heavy Godrej locks. The only International sit down portrait ever painted by this genius, was created on request for the British High Commission. It is called ‘The Moor’ and is that of author Salman Rushdie.
Err…………..I suppose that brings us back full circle to where we started off from.