PENNING CHAUTAPUL’S CHALK DE! CHAPTER…….
The world famous, perennially snow capped, highest mountain of the Alps is shivering with fear of threatened existence. Not because of Global warming [at least for now] but because the Surtis are calling products named after it –Mount Blank! Jokes apart, it is nice to see that the finest writing instruments from Mont Blanc are now accessible in town. Thanks to the Mall mania, Lalas need not wait to visit Joon in New York, Smythson’s in London or Zaveri Bros. Mumbai for the same.
Among earliest Surti stationers were the vendors wandering around Chautapul ,selling chalks and slate pens; their descendents still do .In the 1950’s owning a Pratap pen was as good as it could get for Surti students.’ Swan’ was overpowered in prestige, only by ‘Brahmam’ a 14 carat gold nib, ink pen manufactured in Madras if you please. Being gifted a’ Reform ‘or ‘Tiku’ by visiting rich relatives would turn the event into the talk of the then small town. ‘Senator’ sustained the70’s. Ball point tip pens were then a big no-no for students since they were notorious to spoil handwriting. So when the Luxor micro tip pen was introduced to Tapi town in the early 80’s it was the biggest hit since Sholay!
Navin pen mart at Lalgate pioneered selling fancy pen ware. In absence of computers, account books and registers sold like hot cakes and selling stationery along with them, made Kagzi brothers at Limda Chowk, Popular book store Tower road, Modern in Sagrampura and Athwa General Store at Athwalines dream destinations for the same.
A visit to even the most modest of stationery shops in Surat these days has a different story to tell. As one enters, there is a grand welcome with an array of bouquets of multi coloured pens set row wise in jars. Some Surti stores tease and tempt offering limited and unlimited editions from Parker, Schaeffer, Caran’d ache, Pelikan, Cross pens. Lamy, Waterman, Cartier and Dupont now visit town on order.
Surti mommies upgrade their kid’s stuff on a monthly basis. The Alphabet eraser with a translucent green head has been bid adieu I notice, replaced by Big Mac and cricket kit replicas in the name of erasers. Steadler, Crayola, Faber Castell are household names now, for lead and colour options. The good old geometry set box is a goner too, now we have fancy cases with four compartments. Kids in town casually use files, punch machines and staplers from Korea, binders, sticker charts, 3-d scales from China, aromatic hand made paper from Jaipur. In times where Black boards have turned white, chalks and slate pens are the only ones that have retained their authentic colours and flavours swear the chalk munching junkies!
What disheartens one is the fact that when the world’s best instruments for writing are now easily available to us, penmanship unfortunately is dying an untimely death. Around the globe, both male and female prefer e-mails; lap tops have replaced letter pads.’ The Grid’ is set to become the future of text technology. Mobile Short Message Service causes Hara-kiri of the text, daily making Wren and Martin tremble. As we proceed towards a paperless phenomenon, stationery has become just that-stationary. Pens are pocketed as fashion, Paper is used for packaging and books are procured more as décor than for records. Though our budget for these has amazingly increased, our usage of the same has drastically decreased. Changing times have ‘nanonized’ our form of communication; let’s pray pen and paper will always be around. Hope, Chautapul’s ‘Chalk de!’Chapter never closes with a ‘chuck de!’ by the Generation next, of Tapi town.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
P IS FOR PROFANITY……..SURTIS ‘SWEAR’ BY IT!
Towns all over our country are known for their distinct dialect and manner of speaking; the nawaabi andaaz of Lucknow’s tehzeeb, the sugar coated chatter of Calcutta, the respectful regal tone of Jaipur, in Gujarat itself there are a number of accents in which Ahmedabadi, Kathiyawadi etc. Gujarati is spoken. When it comes to our town though, the otherwise sweet sounding language takes an about turn.’shu che?’ becomes’ hu che?’ and ‘tamay aavo’ becomes ‘tu chal ni’.Other than being casual about the way they speak, Surtis are also most definitely well known for their profanity. I mean, I have yet to hear a social, business or casual conversation in town which does not include more than one #~*$#! Expletive word in every delivered dialogue!
The ‘it’ slang word does not exist in Surat because every slang word is part of a normal Surti conversation. While one wonders what mothers, sisters, fathers, brother-in laws and their body parts have got to do with conversations that neither involve them nor revolve around them; the average Surti would loose half his talk time in case he was forced to frame a sentence without profusely swearing!
Surat has a number of communities and sub castes of Gujaratis that dwell here. We have the Patels, Ghachis, Golas, Khatris, Vanias etc. Although they all speak differently, they are bound together by their profanity. No one raises a surprised brow at the most inaudible word spoken publicly.
Since it has always been a business community, education has never been that important to the average Surti. Family business has beckoned many a young soul to discontinue studies midway, irrespective of caste and creed. Grammar in Tapi town therefore is also one of the poorest in the state and pronunciations too go for ahem! A six!
In case the otherwise efficient Surti lala was asked to make a business deal come through without using his slang words, it would be a catch 22 situation for him! Every Surti sentence is incomplete until it is peppered with slang.
Surtis do not mean to swear at their friends and associates, in fact they use these with people they converse with on a day to day basis as terms of endearments!Surtis swear when they are in a good mood, smilingly and do so angrily when they are in a bad mood. So that means, if a Surti does not swear when in conversation, you do not feature in his close group of normal people and he is trying really hard to keep the talk straight!
Minding his ‘P’s and ‘Q’s would be torture for a Surti and he would rather answer in ‘yes’ or’ no’ than converse in situations that call for the same. Watching cricket, flying kites, eating out, chatting on the mobile, shopping, driving, in short every normal activity that a Surti does has to have a reaction that begins and ends with exclamatory remarks.
One thing is for certain, if there was ever a competition for original, innovative, maximum and widely used profanity world wide, Surtis would win hands down, no competition there sir, not even from the infamous down under-Australia.Surtis casually speak words that would make any human from out of town go drastically red in the face.
The other ‘P’word that Surtis are well known for is Promiscuous, but this is a newspaper with family readership and I most definitely am not getting into that explicit conversation, lest I get showered with spicy Surti slang of the profane kind!
Towns all over our country are known for their distinct dialect and manner of speaking; the nawaabi andaaz of Lucknow’s tehzeeb, the sugar coated chatter of Calcutta, the respectful regal tone of Jaipur, in Gujarat itself there are a number of accents in which Ahmedabadi, Kathiyawadi etc. Gujarati is spoken. When it comes to our town though, the otherwise sweet sounding language takes an about turn.’shu che?’ becomes’ hu che?’ and ‘tamay aavo’ becomes ‘tu chal ni’.Other than being casual about the way they speak, Surtis are also most definitely well known for their profanity. I mean, I have yet to hear a social, business or casual conversation in town which does not include more than one #~*$#! Expletive word in every delivered dialogue!
The ‘it’ slang word does not exist in Surat because every slang word is part of a normal Surti conversation. While one wonders what mothers, sisters, fathers, brother-in laws and their body parts have got to do with conversations that neither involve them nor revolve around them; the average Surti would loose half his talk time in case he was forced to frame a sentence without profusely swearing!
Surat has a number of communities and sub castes of Gujaratis that dwell here. We have the Patels, Ghachis, Golas, Khatris, Vanias etc. Although they all speak differently, they are bound together by their profanity. No one raises a surprised brow at the most inaudible word spoken publicly.
Since it has always been a business community, education has never been that important to the average Surti. Family business has beckoned many a young soul to discontinue studies midway, irrespective of caste and creed. Grammar in Tapi town therefore is also one of the poorest in the state and pronunciations too go for ahem! A six!
In case the otherwise efficient Surti lala was asked to make a business deal come through without using his slang words, it would be a catch 22 situation for him! Every Surti sentence is incomplete until it is peppered with slang.
Surtis do not mean to swear at their friends and associates, in fact they use these with people they converse with on a day to day basis as terms of endearments!Surtis swear when they are in a good mood, smilingly and do so angrily when they are in a bad mood. So that means, if a Surti does not swear when in conversation, you do not feature in his close group of normal people and he is trying really hard to keep the talk straight!
Minding his ‘P’s and ‘Q’s would be torture for a Surti and he would rather answer in ‘yes’ or’ no’ than converse in situations that call for the same. Watching cricket, flying kites, eating out, chatting on the mobile, shopping, driving, in short every normal activity that a Surti does has to have a reaction that begins and ends with exclamatory remarks.
One thing is for certain, if there was ever a competition for original, innovative, maximum and widely used profanity world wide, Surtis would win hands down, no competition there sir, not even from the infamous down under-Australia.Surtis casually speak words that would make any human from out of town go drastically red in the face.
The other ‘P’word that Surtis are well known for is Promiscuous, but this is a newspaper with family readership and I most definitely am not getting into that explicit conversation, lest I get showered with spicy Surti slang of the profane kind!
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