IDES OF MARCH…TIDES OF TROUBLE……..
The Ides of March stand for the first day of the Roman lunar calendar.15th of March, the day that dear old Julius Caesar was asked to beware of and assassinated on. Down the ages, this date is one that resonates doomsday for the superstitious just as Shakespeare had warned; a fore bringer of misfortune, according to many soothsayers.
In present day, our Surti Lalas got a taste of the Ides of March throughout the month. It has been a relentlessly cruel month for them………..

As the month began, a staggering stock market and the sensex knocked the senses out of both the sexes who locked more than horns, as the Bears and Bulls saw red. Dabba traders got tinned by the city police, real estate prices plummeted and diamond traders got singed by the scorcher of the share market’s Holi pyre even as Surti housewives blew up family money set aside to retire. In a town where cash is perennially in flow, liquidity saw many a dry day.

The textile sector got a blow by the FM [Budget, not radio silly!] with no relief to old woes. An 8 % addition of excise duty on imported weaving machines turned ‘TUF into tough’ for the weavers. Thus, spelling days of doom to Lalas who own power looms. With global competition warming up, prospects of growth seem bleak at present for Tapi town weavers who were set to go the long haul in upgrading their technology.

Tax evaders who are in the trade of property, diamond and textile have had a long, difficult month. Most of them were actually given the Ides of March i.e. March 15th.as the last day to cough up the indigestible tax returns. I-T officials seem to have hitched the Lalas, hook line and sinker; leaving no nook or corner for escape. VAT evaders ki toh vaat lag gai! With the Fiscal deadline fast approaching for this financial year, there were chaotic queues at offices of the revenue department as Surtis endlessly lined up and set their records straight to avoid being penalized later.

As though all this was not enough, the Jantri’s Jantar Mantar took the town completely unawares. Surat’s Bahumaali Bhavan turned into a clubhouse as the public, police; lawyers and bouncers tussled over equal rights of registration and decided to ‘go to the mattresses’- a la Godfather. Stamp paper demands caused a stampede. Amongst all the hungama, many stories unfolded along with the sleepover ka saman and hot tales arose along with the Tiffin box lids which Surtis came equipped with. The event also brought together snooty socialites from Parle Point to rub shoulders with the humble hasinas of Varachha, as most Surtis register their property in the name of the fairer sex. Lalas had to line up in person for once to officially register property in the proper way. Not being used to function without corruption, many Surtis unnecessarily slipped in extra currency with the registration amount, in hope that it would earn them an upgraded registration [or so they thought]!

Thus the scorching summer has begun with most Surtis in a soup. For once, March ending will bring a sigh of relief to Tapi towners. Hopefully, the month of April will bring in happier times. But, do watch out dear Lalas, because the new month begins tomorrow with April Fools Day! Here’s wishing you a happy one.