IPL-INFLUENCED, PROTESTING LALAS...........
Now that the poll fever has passed, Surtis are finding new ways to keep the topic alive till the results are out.
Pollsters are quoting what percentage of votes might have gone to the present ruling party, the opposition and the new entrants; as well as the important ‘others’ who will mingle in with either of the former parties later on, at their own whims and fancies.

If you are as confused as I am as to how on earth do they come to such exact conclusions about what the results will look like, percentage and all, here is what I think they do-
First of all, they select 8 different people from different walks of life to represent vote banks of various parties.

Like a rich businessman would vote for his benefit, while a mill labourer would vote for who benefited him [in official and unofficial ways].

Like a young first time voter, all set to practice his right for the very first time at the impressionable age of 18 ,on the other hand would be the ‘wise old man ‘a senior citizen who has seen many sarkars come and go.

Like a modern woman of the 21st century who would vote for the party that has promised more rights and equal benefits to all, while the distressed homemaker who is depressed with ever soaring prices would represent the other side of Women’s votes.

Like the rich religious leader whom followers treat like God who just has to whisper a word of whom to vote for, to represent the majority, as opposed to a poor, exploited under paid artisan who would represent a minority.

Then, the opinions of all these people would be taken by the polling agencies and fed into a computer along with the population that represents each; to come to a conclusion of the percentage of seats that will be won and also in which territories, so simple.

The other reason that has kept poll talks in charcha is the fact that despite the netas, newspapers and abhinetas having respectively made it important, simple and fashionable to vote this year, half of Tapi town failed to do so.

At social gatherings, citizens who do not have a tell tale mark on their finger are being asked why they did not vote.

Surtis are confused what to answer, I mean everyone now knows how to vote, so what do they say about why they did not press the blue button this year?

Luckily for them, they have now found an excuse. A small place called Velavi Faliyagam has come to their rescue. The villagers of this place stated that they boycotted the elections as a form of protest against absence of development.

Lalas now say since the IPL was shifted out of the country and their Indian idols, all cricketers have also not voted this year, they followed suit, as protest.

Sad that this influenced educated, intelligent Surtis more than the failing state of our neighbouring country’s democracy, to abstain from performing their democratic duty this year.

Tapi town tattle-What have Manmohanji and Advaniji requested Gujaratis?’Humey mut dijiye!”

SURTI POLL ETHICS..........
The poll dice and dates have rolled and the biggest gamble of 2009 has begun. Even as you read this, it has been decided throughout this great nation of ours, that this time around, it is going to be the thinker’s vote that will win.
As the media is playing a responsible role in generating awareness, pre election thought process polls have resulted in common views-Indian voters stand united in what they want to see in their future lok sevaks.
The list of qualifications is not long but, is by our political standard, a pretty tall one. Indians want young, educated, non biased, free of criminal records, grounded visionaries who are locals of the constituency they represent.
The Surti voters are worried to death with this list .Though they completely agree with their fellow countrymen, they fear their candidates might not live up to all the needful. But Surtis are now loaded with their new election voting cards, which they have earned by standing in unending queues, for long hours. They have decided to put it to good use.
Voters in Tapi town seem to be set with who deserves their precious votes. Unfortunately, the vote bank is divided, here is why.....
Yarn importers vs. spinners-Finger pointing in this segment has been on since long, as each party accuses the other to be working hand in glove with ministers to tip the scales in their favour of moolah making policies. It’s going to be vote for note in this one, hands down for sure. No fan following or party loyalty will hold more importance than the one who will get the job done.
Diamond workers vs. Diamond merchants-Having run from pillar to post and yet returned empty-handed, this recession hit sector is now aimless when it comes to voting. Left, right and centre have all proved to be pointless directions and they are lost. New complications now arise, as they want vote for change, in a battle that is now within.
Industrialists vs. Environmentalists-Even as our state begins with its new agenda of global warming, both the polluting parties and anti polluting brigades are up in arms. It’s question of survival of the filthiest against the fittest in this case. It is going to be a catch 22 for politicians with this one as progress loving Surtis are used to bending rules .A clean, green Surat is not as easy as it sounds.
Boys vs. Men-Our blue eyed boy Rahul Gandhi and his outspoken friend Sachin Pilot, with their yuva inspiring quips have raised a stir in the young guns. Thinking unlike their dads; who have always agreed with and have been following a clear visionary so far, the young hearts of Surat want to tread a new path. They want to set a new trend, by voting as an Indian, not as a caste, for a better future. Polls this year are sure to see the change brought about by the youth.
The female frenzy, however, I hear are unanimous with their choice for this once.
Well, only time and midsummer will tell us who shall emerge as the people’s choice.
For now, all Surtis stand united on the thought that,Aeni ’! @#^&%*#@! [Unprintable body parts] Jey pun avay, te kharu, dhandho dhum dhum vo joiye!
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-With the government failing to practice Gandhigiri, what brought Bapu’s belongings back? Mallyagiri!