JAB PR KIYA TOH DARNA KYAA?..............
As the Sun enters the Makar zodiac and we get set to celebrate Uttaryan, a lot of Surti Lalas will be breaking into sweat. Not at the fear of kite flying dearies, it’s a big day for PR.
Surtis celebrate all festivals with much aplomb. Well known to be superb hosts, with gourmet meals being a part of even their daily lifestyle, festivals give Surtis an official reason to please the boss.
For the simple Surtis, festivals are the best time and excuse for enhancing their PR with the Saab log. So, the good old straightforward ones will be having over managers, officers or seniors at home for a Ponk and Patang party. Spirits will soar at these happy family affairs, where laymen and collars will mingle to enjoy the January chill with kite flying thrills. This is basic Surti culture at its best.
Ever since the migrants settled in Surat, PR took a different turn altogether. Soon, Surat was well known to be high on every transfer wish list. Not surprisingly so, after all babus are gods here. From dyeing and printing masters at mills to CEO’s of companies, all are pleased.
In the past, when Excise was a duty levied on textile, it was a routine for many in the trade to go all out and please men who mattered .As atrocious as it may sound, from coriander to brown bread, hot Jalebis to imli chutneys, any and everything would be home delivered in a bid to please the babu’s madam at home!
Ahem...highly placed sources also claim that flooring, furniture and gardens would get an instant makeover at living quarters if the new madam did not approve of it. Rumours would then run rife as to which biggie had sponsored the same. Following some Algebra rule of keeping A happy automatically makes B see on your side or something on that line.
In cities like Delhi, everybody claims to know everybody else but in Surat, only a chosen few are allowed in the inner circle. As times have changed, PR is now carried out via one’s P.A., CA, or in many cases, a professional negotiator with communication skills is appointed exclusively for handling this task. Not to mention a chauffeur driven car, this always remains on ‘vardi’meaning at the service of the Saab or rather in many cases, his memsaab.
Diamond sets, gold jewellery, silvery crockery, Scotch bottles and electronic gadgets are a thing of the past. With changing times maybe real estate and property will seem to be the in thing .Diwali is no longer the only time to give gifts. In Tapi town, the pampering is constant and it is unending. Snooty socialites, who would otherwise care tuppence to converse decently, go all polite and pally to please on occasions as these. The babu log see through all the farce and have the last laugh.
No one knows to date whether or not this entire PR theory actually matters at all and if it makes a big difference. In many cases, it just means having a longer phone book than most others. What it does do is make the mediator feel powerful [fool?] thinking he can get things done. Maybe it gives him security of knowing’ topis’[it’s a male thing, they say],maybe it makes him hopeful that in times of trouble or an emergency, he will have someone to fall back upon and bail him out [ or so he thinks]. That dearies, then is the exact reason that makes our insecure Lalas sing confidently-
Jab PR kiya, toh darna kyaa? PR kiya koi chori nahi ki...................
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What do we call the big turnout of the nation’s business magnates at Vibrant Gujarat? –‘Flash of the Titans.’

HOW WELL WE KNOW OUR VINO!

Booze is the social glue of all mankind’, said dear old Barbara Holland who really loved her wine. In the ‘dry’ state city of Surat, nothing stands more true. It is customary in the Khatri community to share a ‘batli’ as they call it, on all occasions of social gatherings be it birth, death or weddings.’Surya ast toh khatri mast’, the men and women folk have their own circles on the home floors with ‘dana-chana’ and ‘mutton mamnas ‘doing the rounds as bite sized food accompaniments. The Golwaad area, often touted as a policeman’s nightmare, has ‘bhajiya patra’ kiosks busy as soon as the sun sets. Groups of regulars order from their doorsteps as gamblers gather for their evening session of game and daru.In the posh localities of southern Surat, come evening and restaurant phones are abuzz with home –delivery orders of a variety of starters Chinese toTandoori.Alcohol is easily the worst kept secret in Surat ,it is common knowledge. There are different ways to produce this dipsomaniac’s delight in Tapi town-
DIY-Do it yourself. In case you raise a surprised brow, let me tell you that in 1632 A.D., Peter Mundy, a European traveler who had spanned India, was surprised too at finding many people in Surat addicted to opium which grew on Surti soil in vast quantity.In the poppy fields, seeds and husks were seeped in water and an alcoholic bevearage called ‘poste’ was procured from it.Cannibes-Bhang was also used to prepare intoxicating drinks and alcoholics were then known as ‘postees ‘or‘bhangees’.In modern day Surat, alcohol is produced at 3 levels.
1. Potli /latthho- one of the worst kind made from soda ash powder used in polishing metals [kallai powder], koilo jaggery, navsar and khor which are put to boil in a tin within a ‘bhatti’ and cooled, then mixed with water and fermented in hidden areas often made in umra,bhatha and small villages around surat, this one is sold at rs.2.50 per glass and goes upto rs.10 .per ser on festive occasions.mostly consumed by the labourers and slum dwellers; it is lethal and triggers lung and intestine infection, along with severe throat inflammation.
2. Deshi-Narangi concocted from rotten fruits and hafeem with a few tablets of potent herbs thrown in the brew, the lower middle class buys it from Dumas, Bhimpore, Ved and Dhaboli.Available in small glass bottles at rs.10.
3. Tadi/Wine-In winters, the juice of ice-apple fruit is relished by early birds out for a walk but it is a well known fact that the ‘niro’ juice ferments and turns into intoxicating ‘tadi’ post midday! Surtis relish the niro and tadi as these are easily accessible and one of their favorite drinks .Surti women make wine at home during the grape season and store to savour it through the year.Grapes, whole wheat, yeast, de-chlorinated water and sugar are mashed and left to ferment in a sterilized ceramic bottle for 21 days. The prepared wine is then stored in glass bottles with cork lids. Shiraz, Chantilly, Chardonnay not withstanding, ‘Nothing more satisfactory than home made surti wine ‘, swear the housewives.Well what more can I add to that except, ‘Cheers! To the Surti “spirits”!’