Within a month since his appointment as the commissioner of police, Tapi town’s honourable top cop has become the talk of the town; oft seen, heard and most definitely feared by miscreants, all around the city of Surat.
Felicitated at a function by leading lalas from industries of textile and diamonds, he was seen warmly welcomed by Surat’s ‘who is who’. Famous businessmen were requested, while lesser known representatives were urged by organizers to come forward for ‘saheb nu samman’, the soul they now look up to for protection from land grabbing bullies and ill meaning elements who wish to hinder their business. Further more, lalas posted the audio recording of the event on You Tube under the title ‘Welcome and Falicitate Shri Rakesh Asthana”, spelling it so, to prove its Surti authenticity.
At the helm of the helmet issue, the commissioner of police was also heard on local FM and at club meets, pointing out to educated adult Surtis, basic and compulsory traffic rules. Commuters who had till date paid little attention to safety details are now paying up fines that amount to lakhs of rupees.
Shady characters meanwhile have gone under the mattresses instead of ‘going to the mattresses’, a la Godfather style. They seem to have vamoosed from the scene, for the time being, knowing only too well that the commissioner, who has won the President’s medal for distinguished service, surely means business when he has promised to ‘legally crackdown on anti-social elements’.
The layman Surti however, has been most impressed with the fact that even as saheb promised peace for prosperity and citizen-police partnership, he also publicly shared his mobile number last week, asking Surtis to fear nobody and call him directly, in case they get tepid response on terror and other issues, from local police stations.
Empowered by having saheb’s number in the phone book, a few claimed to have set up a
“CCC”-Concerned citizen’s committee.
Upon being invited to their first ever meeting last Saturday, curiosity got the better of this columnist to find out what this actually was all about.
A fairly large amount of people had turned up at the designated venue for discussion. Everybody seemed to be speaking all at once.
‘I want to request for a fixed time table for traffic fines. Monday for helmets, Tuesday for seat belts, Wednesday for speed limits etc.’suggested a Citylight homemaker.
‘I simply want to thank him for allowing us to wear helmets designed like the Gladiator head dress; it makes me feel like Russell Crow ‘smiled a dentist from Sagrampura.
While bhaiyajis from Bihar who are vegetable vendors around Parle Point pointed out that they were willingly going to move their carts away “Kyunki bade saheb ne toh hamaarey Laloo Prasad ji ke raj mein fodder kand ka bhi parda farsh kar diya thaa toh hum kya cheez hai .“
The migrant bhabhijis from Kolkuta are impressed for once because “Inhoney kaha thaa ke saheb wohi officer hai jinhoney hamarey West Bengal mein Purulia arms drop case investigate kiya thaa.”
Meanwhile, popular senior citizens Mr.Magan Batla and aunty Batli were on a conference call via satellite, from Daman. ‘As you all know, we are tadipar these days. We are calling over the concern of the disappearance of our niece –Narangi and nephew-Pehli Dharno.They were last seen brewing up by the Tapi, we hope they are safe since they are innocent locals who mean no harm.”
“ Missed call maru ?”
Surti socialites had a more personal agenda, ‘I love men in uniform. All I want to know is which ringtone does his caller tune have. Do you know? Is it Dabangg? ‘
‘I found his name on FB but it turned out to be someone else.’
‘I like the idea of CCTV, am looking forward to see and be seen ‘
A gentleman from Kotsafil road had great concern over cattle which casually strolls around that area,”Aaprey toh koini beek lagtee nathi,whu ? Aaprey toh bindaas puchvanu chey ke bhai aa badha nu whu karvanu chey ? Punn saheb ne aapri bhasha nai hamjan parey’
“This is exactly why we have invited you’, said the CCC president, as all heads turned towards me ,”Can you call him and forward all of our concerns? ”he asked.
Needless to say, this cat scampered from the meet before further curiosity killed it.
Showing posts with label sgci. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sgci. Show all posts
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
SUMMER TEMPEST
They say when you have nothing else to write about, write about the weather, so, when we were under the Phet threat, this column was poised to read otherwise.
Thankfully, hurricanes have a mind of their own and are vagabond travelers with no particular route or destination in mind hence our shores were spared.
Despite the wanton change of weather plans however, mini hurricanes hit Surtis due to different individuals and issues that gave reason to Tapi towners to tattle. Hungary’s hunger and Hatoyama’s sayonara did not make it to the top list .the ones which did were-
Javier jalapeño Spanish writer Javier Moro may lack knowledge on how to drape a sari; but Surti lalas are on a desperate lookout for him .They want to request exclusive rights of patent to recreate his ‘Red Sari’. Lalas who have no clue about the writer’s past books like “Five past midnight in Bhopal’ on India’s worst apocalypse or ‘The Jaipur foot’-a man’s ability to overcome tragedy ,think that Surti versions of Moro’s red sari might just be the next big hit design after ‘Ghajini’. Meanwhile a representative of the hand that rules the country has served a notice to Javier who is protesting ‘tujhko mirchi lagi toh mein kyaa karu?’
Tambu mein gabhrahat An architectural wonder, the air-conditioned, gigantic, pillar less dome at Surat International Exhibition and Convention Centre (SIECC) was built with the purpose of providing ‘international standard facilities ‘for building better business and trade relations. But, Surat’s crème de la crème have been using it as the ‘in’ wedding venue of the season. Surat’s new, wow wedding vows venue observed a ‘vavajhodu’ (Surti for hurricane) when over a lakh wedding guests turned up to bless a parliamentarian’s blessed daughter. All roads led to Sarsana as people wanted to be in the ‘been there done that’ list.
Deedar ae Drogba While ‘it ‘couples in Surat are set to sail shores and attend Football 2010 worldcup, Ivory Coast’s ace foot is nursing an injured elbow.In a warm up match against Japan that might now cost host country South Africa a precious blow, ace striker Didier Drogba has been declared injured and unfit for FIFA 2010.Although over 20 million fans worldwide are crestfallen, Surtis are in top spirits since they will be sporting colourful tees representing all countries and would rather sight fancy film stars from Hollywood than ferocious footballers .
Limca book of records In a record event that has our extremely alert police in a puzzle, a 2 litre, Surti Limca bottle is on its way to become part of, well ‘Limca book of records’! The record breaking bottle filled with Vodka, discovered by a surprise raid squad, mysteriously found its way into the Surat sub jail, near ward number 4, which is present home to a few high profile law breakers. Of course, now that the unique bottle has been sent to the efficient forensic science department ‘results may vary ‘and we may not have a winner on our hands.Jalsa loving Surtis are, however celebrating with Hic!hic!hurrah in dry state’s rare, amazing discovery.
Thus, while the country dealt with the IPL- ‘I appeal ,yell ‘ hurricane and the state had ‘Charcha Nehru ‘to deal with, Surtis were busy with their own set of summer tempests.
Tapi town tattle Nuts over Mr.Natwarlal.
They say when you have nothing else to write about, write about the weather, so, when we were under the Phet threat, this column was poised to read otherwise.
Thankfully, hurricanes have a mind of their own and are vagabond travelers with no particular route or destination in mind hence our shores were spared.
Despite the wanton change of weather plans however, mini hurricanes hit Surtis due to different individuals and issues that gave reason to Tapi towners to tattle. Hungary’s hunger and Hatoyama’s sayonara did not make it to the top list .the ones which did were-
Javier jalapeño Spanish writer Javier Moro may lack knowledge on how to drape a sari; but Surti lalas are on a desperate lookout for him .They want to request exclusive rights of patent to recreate his ‘Red Sari’. Lalas who have no clue about the writer’s past books like “Five past midnight in Bhopal’ on India’s worst apocalypse or ‘The Jaipur foot’-a man’s ability to overcome tragedy ,think that Surti versions of Moro’s red sari might just be the next big hit design after ‘Ghajini’. Meanwhile a representative of the hand that rules the country has served a notice to Javier who is protesting ‘tujhko mirchi lagi toh mein kyaa karu?’
Tambu mein gabhrahat An architectural wonder, the air-conditioned, gigantic, pillar less dome at Surat International Exhibition and Convention Centre (SIECC) was built with the purpose of providing ‘international standard facilities ‘for building better business and trade relations. But, Surat’s crème de la crème have been using it as the ‘in’ wedding venue of the season. Surat’s new, wow wedding vows venue observed a ‘vavajhodu’ (Surti for hurricane) when over a lakh wedding guests turned up to bless a parliamentarian’s blessed daughter. All roads led to Sarsana as people wanted to be in the ‘been there done that’ list.
Deedar ae Drogba While ‘it ‘couples in Surat are set to sail shores and attend Football 2010 worldcup, Ivory Coast’s ace foot is nursing an injured elbow.In a warm up match against Japan that might now cost host country South Africa a precious blow, ace striker Didier Drogba has been declared injured and unfit for FIFA 2010.Although over 20 million fans worldwide are crestfallen, Surtis are in top spirits since they will be sporting colourful tees representing all countries and would rather sight fancy film stars from Hollywood than ferocious footballers .
Limca book of records In a record event that has our extremely alert police in a puzzle, a 2 litre, Surti Limca bottle is on its way to become part of, well ‘Limca book of records’! The record breaking bottle filled with Vodka, discovered by a surprise raid squad, mysteriously found its way into the Surat sub jail, near ward number 4, which is present home to a few high profile law breakers. Of course, now that the unique bottle has been sent to the efficient forensic science department ‘results may vary ‘and we may not have a winner on our hands.Jalsa loving Surtis are, however celebrating with Hic!hic!hurrah in dry state’s rare, amazing discovery.
Thus, while the country dealt with the IPL- ‘I appeal ,yell ‘ hurricane and the state had ‘Charcha Nehru ‘to deal with, Surtis were busy with their own set of summer tempests.
Tapi town tattle Nuts over Mr.Natwarlal.
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