Corkage Charge In Tipple Town

Corkage Charge In Tipple Town


Surat’s most popular senior citizens-Mr.Magan Batla and aunty Batli held a, ‘Dampened Spirits Drive’ last evening.

It was in lieu of a protest against the arrest of the honourable city Mayor’s cousin brother and others, on charges of consuming alcohol in a public place (a Ghoddod Road discotheque, barely half a kilometer from Umra Police Station and just a hop, skip and jump behind the Mayor’s home, a backyard premises he has rented out).

It wasn’t an Alcoholics Anonymous meet, mind you, which surprisingly exists at large through the dry state, with Surat scoring the maximum number of members there too.

This was one where so called thinkers of Tapi town came together to discuss on a sober and serious note, the price and punishment that denizens are paying for prohibition.

On the promise that they remain incognito, anguished Surtis stated their quotes and views of the public in general.

“Prohibition has become the new weapon for vendetta in our town! Anyone can pick up the phone and complaint .There is no end as to how many ‘mehfils’ police raids will yield from homes, every single night.”

“Imagine what kind of names will tumble out if we apply via RTI to know who all have been arrested for alcohol consumption in Gujarat, so far?”

“Vat 69 ney vaat laga di!”

“My uncle is penning a new prohibition Kolaveri version called,” Why this hypocrisy, hypocrisy policy di, ho Modi!”

“Where is the booze coming in from? I read that bootleggers supplying to Gujarat have an annual turnover of 1500 crores!”

“Those are last year’s figures, now that the noose is tighter, rates might have doubled.”

“I always assumed that having an alcohol permit meant ‘License to drink’ but, my friends were sitting ducks and met their nemesis in an apartment when they were raided for drinking at home!”

“Dint this happen the same night as the one in which Parmeshwar Godrej’s party for Oprah was raided thrice by the Mumbai Pandus?”

“No, and stupid, Mumbai does not have prohibition issues, they were raided for causing commotion next to an MLA’s residence.”

“I am a teetotaler, yet, I pay more taxes because prohibition costs a loss of Rs.3000 crores of revenue to the government and I heard that they have to make up for it by hiking our basic taxes.”

“Aaprey toh kaee didhu, aapunney kaai pher parto nathi, lai javo ander,juo ! Bus,aapra bapa hudhi vaat nahi pahunchvi joyey ,whu ?”

‘I have decided to pen a book on it and name it “Night at Police Station; Nightmare at Civil Hospital”

“Surat’s police are trying really hard to brush off last year’s accusation of procuring the maximum bribes in the matter of prohibition. A leading weekly national magazine had summed it up to around 70 lakhs.”

“Can you imagine that wedding cocktail parties are now the main reason for Surtis to organize destination weddings? How do you expect us hoteliers to lose millions of rupees in this manner and still take it in the right spirit?

“The closest getaway is Daman, with the amount of spurious liquor flowing from there these days; you could have a river of elixir running through it!

“I hear after acing at duplicate Black Label, they now excel at aping single malts too, packaging and all!”

“Daru, daru, daru, daru, daru, daru, daru hic!”

“Can we please get back to the issue now? Do you know how distilleries are minting millions by shoving excise free booze into the state?”

“Also, hooch king pins are crorepatis here.”

“This is just a vote bank policy, in the name of Gandhiji.”

“Did you know that Gandhiji’s grandson had once stated on national television that, “There are many other things which Bapu stood for which we should be practicing, but which no one does. Prohibition in Gujarat is an industry which finances politics, politicians and police."

“How come having no prohibition in SEZ does not offend Bapu, but consuming alcohol in other areas of Gujarat does?”

“I think it’s the women in the state, who vote in favour of prohibition, whom politicians do not want to displease.”

“ Eni maaney !!!!!! ……….pun mari ni maaney !”