Within a month since his appointment as the commissioner of police, Tapi town’s honourable top cop has become the talk of the town; oft seen, heard and most definitely feared by miscreants, all around the city of Surat.
Felicitated at a function by leading lalas from industries of textile and diamonds, he was seen warmly welcomed by Surat’s ‘who is who’. Famous businessmen were requested, while lesser known representatives were urged by organizers to come forward for ‘saheb nu samman’, the soul they now look up to for protection from land grabbing bullies and ill meaning elements who wish to hinder their business. Further more, lalas posted the audio recording of the event on You Tube under the title ‘Welcome and Falicitate Shri Rakesh Asthana”, spelling it so, to prove its Surti authenticity.
At the helm of the helmet issue, the commissioner of police was also heard on local FM and at club meets, pointing out to educated adult Surtis, basic and compulsory traffic rules. Commuters who had till date paid little attention to safety details are now paying up fines that amount to lakhs of rupees.
Shady characters meanwhile have gone under the mattresses instead of ‘going to the mattresses’, a la Godfather style. They seem to have vamoosed from the scene, for the time being, knowing only too well that the commissioner, who has won the President’s medal for distinguished service, surely means business when he has promised to ‘legally crackdown on anti-social elements’.
The layman Surti however, has been most impressed with the fact that even as saheb promised peace for prosperity and citizen-police partnership, he also publicly shared his mobile number last week, asking Surtis to fear nobody and call him directly, in case they get tepid response on terror and other issues, from local police stations.
Empowered by having saheb’s number in the phone book, a few claimed to have set up a
“CCC”-Concerned citizen’s committee.
Upon being invited to their first ever meeting last Saturday, curiosity got the better of this columnist to find out what this actually was all about.
A fairly large amount of people had turned up at the designated venue for discussion. Everybody seemed to be speaking all at once.
‘I want to request for a fixed time table for traffic fines. Monday for helmets, Tuesday for seat belts, Wednesday for speed limits etc.’suggested a Citylight homemaker.
‘I simply want to thank him for allowing us to wear helmets designed like the Gladiator head dress; it makes me feel like Russell Crow ‘smiled a dentist from Sagrampura.
While bhaiyajis from Bihar who are vegetable vendors around Parle Point pointed out that they were willingly going to move their carts away “Kyunki bade saheb ne toh hamaarey Laloo Prasad ji ke raj mein fodder kand ka bhi parda farsh kar diya thaa toh hum kya cheez hai .“
The migrant bhabhijis from Kolkuta are impressed for once because “Inhoney kaha thaa ke saheb wohi officer hai jinhoney hamarey West Bengal mein Purulia arms drop case investigate kiya thaa.”
Meanwhile, popular senior citizens Mr.Magan Batla and aunty Batli were on a conference call via satellite, from Daman. ‘As you all know, we are tadipar these days. We are calling over the concern of the disappearance of our niece –Narangi and nephew-Pehli Dharno.They were last seen brewing up by the Tapi, we hope they are safe since they are innocent locals who mean no harm.”
“ Missed call maru ?”
Surti socialites had a more personal agenda, ‘I love men in uniform. All I want to know is which ringtone does his caller tune have. Do you know? Is it Dabangg? ‘
‘I found his name on FB but it turned out to be someone else.’
‘I like the idea of CCTV, am looking forward to see and be seen ‘
A gentleman from Kotsafil road had great concern over cattle which casually strolls around that area,”Aaprey toh koini beek lagtee nathi,whu ? Aaprey toh bindaas puchvanu chey ke bhai aa badha nu whu karvanu chey ? Punn saheb ne aapri bhasha nai hamjan parey’
“This is exactly why we have invited you’, said the CCC president, as all heads turned towards me ,”Can you call him and forward all of our concerns? ”he asked.
Needless to say, this cat scampered from the meet before further curiosity killed it.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Road trip to Surat in the 17th century
How Thomas Coryate walked from England to Surat.
The state highway and NH 8 was set ablaze with star power last week. Keeping up with its ‘La Tomatino’ theme, the trendy team of the promising upcoming flick ‘Zindagi Na Mileygi Dobara’ painted Tapi town and other prime cities of Gujarat red. The superstars of present times made the journey short and sweet as they zoomed in and out on their fancy four wheel drives. Needless to say, by setting an example for freedom and adventure which is the theme of the movie, this innovative cinema promotion style will surely spur Surtis into taking road trips on paths less traveled.
While many travelers have sailed into Surat as well as driven in as a first, one of the most interesting characters to have come in stayed here for good, which is because he unfortunately died on Surat’s shore. He holds his place in history because of the fact that he began his journey from England to India entirely on foot. Till this date, a stone tablet etched with his shoes is displayed on the walls of the Somerset town that he hailed from.
Thomas Coryate was born in Odecombe, England. The Englishmen remember him as the court jester employed by Prince Henry, son of James I , he also holds the honour of introducing the table fork to England .Amongst many other nicknames that he acquired ,’Furcifer’ fork bearer rascal is one amongst the most popular.
Coryate studied at the Winchester College and later at Gloucester, Oxford. His passion for travel which he best preferred on foot began by a tour of Europe during which he penned “Coryate’s crudities’ an Odecombian buffet of witty verse from all around the continent. He was popular and well known through Europe for his adventures and book alike, although scholars often took jibes at his works and character. John Taylor described him as:
’ His head was a large pounding tub of phrases, whence men would pick delights as boys pick diseases, admired learning took his heads possession and turned his wit a wandering in progression’
With his head that has been described to look like an inverted sugar loaf, this learned man who could speak at least 8 different languages including Latin, Greek, Persian, Hindustani amongst others was known as ‘The eccentric fakir’ in India because he was known to climb up minarets of mosques and shout back at priests who called out the azaan .Coryate with his single soul, soles and shirt walked all the way from England to Greece to the Mediterranean to Persia and finally to India ,out of curiosity and to present himself before the great Mughal Emporer – Jehangir.
In Multan, Lahore, he upset many religious believers when he threw a ruckus outside the prime mosque of worship .Later, this leg stretcher visited Ajmer, Pushkar, Agra, and Haridwar and also presented his thoughts before Jehangir in Persian and English. He sent back images of himself riding an elephant in India of which historians have commented upon,’ His wit is so huge nought but an elephant could carry him’
This contemporary nomad unfortunately took ill and as he sought passage to return home, the end of his versatile and weary journey brought him to Surat. It was here that he hoped to sail home via a ship from Suvali.
But alas! That was not to be.
This long strider arrived in Surat on the 13th of November in 1617 and died of dysentery in December that year on the shores of Tapi. Literates believe that the flux of his poor health was further deteriorated by the consumption of ‘sack’ or Elizabethan alcohol which he took a shot at from a ship that had sailed in from England. Amongst his last known words were,’ Sack, sack, is there any such thing as sack? I pray give me some’
Coryate’s grave is believed to have been silted with the Suvali shore .A field of bones that lie in a graveyard long lost beneath its sands. Till date, though, this ‘fool of quality’ is remembered by many an English scholar , described as:
‘He was the imp, whilst he on earth survived, from whom this West world’s pastimes were derived; He was in city, country, field and court. The well of dry trimmed jests, the pump of sport.’
The state highway and NH 8 was set ablaze with star power last week. Keeping up with its ‘La Tomatino’ theme, the trendy team of the promising upcoming flick ‘Zindagi Na Mileygi Dobara’ painted Tapi town and other prime cities of Gujarat red. The superstars of present times made the journey short and sweet as they zoomed in and out on their fancy four wheel drives. Needless to say, by setting an example for freedom and adventure which is the theme of the movie, this innovative cinema promotion style will surely spur Surtis into taking road trips on paths less traveled.
While many travelers have sailed into Surat as well as driven in as a first, one of the most interesting characters to have come in stayed here for good, which is because he unfortunately died on Surat’s shore. He holds his place in history because of the fact that he began his journey from England to India entirely on foot. Till this date, a stone tablet etched with his shoes is displayed on the walls of the Somerset town that he hailed from.
Thomas Coryate was born in Odecombe, England. The Englishmen remember him as the court jester employed by Prince Henry, son of James I , he also holds the honour of introducing the table fork to England .Amongst many other nicknames that he acquired ,’Furcifer’ fork bearer rascal is one amongst the most popular.
Coryate studied at the Winchester College and later at Gloucester, Oxford. His passion for travel which he best preferred on foot began by a tour of Europe during which he penned “Coryate’s crudities’ an Odecombian buffet of witty verse from all around the continent. He was popular and well known through Europe for his adventures and book alike, although scholars often took jibes at his works and character. John Taylor described him as:
’ His head was a large pounding tub of phrases, whence men would pick delights as boys pick diseases, admired learning took his heads possession and turned his wit a wandering in progression’
With his head that has been described to look like an inverted sugar loaf, this learned man who could speak at least 8 different languages including Latin, Greek, Persian, Hindustani amongst others was known as ‘The eccentric fakir’ in India because he was known to climb up minarets of mosques and shout back at priests who called out the azaan .Coryate with his single soul, soles and shirt walked all the way from England to Greece to the Mediterranean to Persia and finally to India ,out of curiosity and to present himself before the great Mughal Emporer – Jehangir.
In Multan, Lahore, he upset many religious believers when he threw a ruckus outside the prime mosque of worship .Later, this leg stretcher visited Ajmer, Pushkar, Agra, and Haridwar and also presented his thoughts before Jehangir in Persian and English. He sent back images of himself riding an elephant in India of which historians have commented upon,’ His wit is so huge nought but an elephant could carry him’
This contemporary nomad unfortunately took ill and as he sought passage to return home, the end of his versatile and weary journey brought him to Surat. It was here that he hoped to sail home via a ship from Suvali.
But alas! That was not to be.
This long strider arrived in Surat on the 13th of November in 1617 and died of dysentery in December that year on the shores of Tapi. Literates believe that the flux of his poor health was further deteriorated by the consumption of ‘sack’ or Elizabethan alcohol which he took a shot at from a ship that had sailed in from England. Amongst his last known words were,’ Sack, sack, is there any such thing as sack? I pray give me some’
Coryate’s grave is believed to have been silted with the Suvali shore .A field of bones that lie in a graveyard long lost beneath its sands. Till date, though, this ‘fool of quality’ is remembered by many an English scholar , described as:
‘He was the imp, whilst he on earth survived, from whom this West world’s pastimes were derived; He was in city, country, field and court. The well of dry trimmed jests, the pump of sport.’
Friday, July 8, 2011
The problem with D K Bose
WHAT SURTIS SWEAR BY
I don’t know about you but I certainly do not happen to find any fun in the pun within the crude Hindi slang used for female genitalia, which forms the lyrics of a present popular song. It makes me cringe and reach out for a pair of noise canceling ear muffs - Quiet Comfort by Bose.
While Dada Kondke had named his movie after a similar pun in the 1900’s, it was considered C grade cinema, one meant for an audience of the same category. It certainly wasn’t in a catchy song form that would be played day in and night out on the radio or in movie trailers which would be run during intervals in theatres through the country,or conveniently slotted between prime time programmes on national television and replayed in between news streams.The 'A' certificate for the cinema means nothing when you are already bantering around whats banned for younger ears .
‘What’s new?’ you may question, ’aren’t we Surtis surrounded by profanity? ‘Yes, but till this date we did not have backpack toting toddlers singing it out loud, did we?
Author John Mc Whorter who penned ‘The Power of Babel’ once pointed out that,’Young children will memorize the illicit inventory long before they can grasp its sense.’ The scurrilous jest in Delhi Belly literally justifies the existence of potty mouths.
An entertainment licensee cannot justify the exploitation of profanity amongst the youth to set cash counters jingling. An ‘A’ certificate will not stop children from smaller towns like Surat casually sauntering in to catch the film at the nearest theatre screening the same.That exactly,Ms Kiran Rao ,is what's wrong with D K Bose and such other theories. Even as an audience cheers out loud and claps to the usage of brazenly vulgar words, young minds are easily influenced in repeating what they think is a ‘kewl conversation.’ Remember, Kareena Kapoor in so called family entertainers like ‘Jab We Met’ and ‘Golmaal’ got max audience appreciation for scenes in which she let her mouth loose with incomplete expletives.
Subjected to foul language that is not alien to them in day to day life, teenagers have interpreted slang to suit their expressions. A normal text SMS amongst teens these days will have words like ‘meri maar di’, ’fatt gayee’,’thok diya’, ‘uski bajaa di’,’vaat laga di” along with much abused four letter English words, very casually compiled within sentences .Where has this cult come from ? Is it just the movies?
Surtis swear by profanity and it is an integral part of their trading language. Migrants are often aghast at how smoothly a sentence flows from the mouths of Surti lalas, laced along with unmentionable body parts. Both happiness and anger alike are expressed with incestuous remarks with strong hints of Freud’s theory of an Oedipus complex.
While Surat’s Ghachis, Golas, Khatris, Kolis, Parsis are known for the sharp tongued sputter of their gutter tongue, the origin of these words are not essentially Gujarati. Upon carefully noticing the word formation of regularly used cuss words which are coarsely audacious, you will discover that their origin is from various languages like Arabic, Persian, and Hindustani, presumably brought into the ancient port town by the traders who sailed in. Speaking of whom, did the Brits bring in along with colonial rule, gross language too?
Queen Elizabeth I was speculated to be a robust swearer. The evolution of profanity in the English language is cited by scholars as somewhere around the 16th century. The word Profane has Latin roots and it means ‘outside of the church’, hence blasphemous. In fact well known authors like Geoffrey Chaucer in Canterbury Tales and world’s most popular playwright William Shakespeare are known to have widely used religious and moral curses within their texts (which were often censored). They were words like ‘God’s blessing on your beard’ from Love’s labour lost, or ‘By God’s (blest) mother’ from Henry.
The word ‘ass’ was first published as a swear word in the Oxford English Dictionary way back in 1955 and since then, vituperative words seem to have had no looking back, so to say.
What’s sad to hear is one of the most offensive cuss words around the world being touted as a youth anthem in our nation, in the name of being a trendy laugh! Now ,that certainly is not funny.
I don’t know about you but I certainly do not happen to find any fun in the pun within the crude Hindi slang used for female genitalia, which forms the lyrics of a present popular song. It makes me cringe and reach out for a pair of noise canceling ear muffs - Quiet Comfort by Bose.
While Dada Kondke had named his movie after a similar pun in the 1900’s, it was considered C grade cinema, one meant for an audience of the same category. It certainly wasn’t in a catchy song form that would be played day in and night out on the radio or in movie trailers which would be run during intervals in theatres through the country,or conveniently slotted between prime time programmes on national television and replayed in between news streams.The 'A' certificate for the cinema means nothing when you are already bantering around whats banned for younger ears .
‘What’s new?’ you may question, ’aren’t we Surtis surrounded by profanity? ‘Yes, but till this date we did not have backpack toting toddlers singing it out loud, did we?
Author John Mc Whorter who penned ‘The Power of Babel’ once pointed out that,’Young children will memorize the illicit inventory long before they can grasp its sense.’ The scurrilous jest in Delhi Belly literally justifies the existence of potty mouths.
An entertainment licensee cannot justify the exploitation of profanity amongst the youth to set cash counters jingling. An ‘A’ certificate will not stop children from smaller towns like Surat casually sauntering in to catch the film at the nearest theatre screening the same.That exactly,Ms Kiran Rao ,is what's wrong with D K Bose and such other theories. Even as an audience cheers out loud and claps to the usage of brazenly vulgar words, young minds are easily influenced in repeating what they think is a ‘kewl conversation.’ Remember, Kareena Kapoor in so called family entertainers like ‘Jab We Met’ and ‘Golmaal’ got max audience appreciation for scenes in which she let her mouth loose with incomplete expletives.
Subjected to foul language that is not alien to them in day to day life, teenagers have interpreted slang to suit their expressions. A normal text SMS amongst teens these days will have words like ‘meri maar di’, ’fatt gayee’,’thok diya’, ‘uski bajaa di’,’vaat laga di” along with much abused four letter English words, very casually compiled within sentences .Where has this cult come from ? Is it just the movies?
Surtis swear by profanity and it is an integral part of their trading language. Migrants are often aghast at how smoothly a sentence flows from the mouths of Surti lalas, laced along with unmentionable body parts. Both happiness and anger alike are expressed with incestuous remarks with strong hints of Freud’s theory of an Oedipus complex.
While Surat’s Ghachis, Golas, Khatris, Kolis, Parsis are known for the sharp tongued sputter of their gutter tongue, the origin of these words are not essentially Gujarati. Upon carefully noticing the word formation of regularly used cuss words which are coarsely audacious, you will discover that their origin is from various languages like Arabic, Persian, and Hindustani, presumably brought into the ancient port town by the traders who sailed in. Speaking of whom, did the Brits bring in along with colonial rule, gross language too?
Queen Elizabeth I was speculated to be a robust swearer. The evolution of profanity in the English language is cited by scholars as somewhere around the 16th century. The word Profane has Latin roots and it means ‘outside of the church’, hence blasphemous. In fact well known authors like Geoffrey Chaucer in Canterbury Tales and world’s most popular playwright William Shakespeare are known to have widely used religious and moral curses within their texts (which were often censored). They were words like ‘God’s blessing on your beard’ from Love’s labour lost, or ‘By God’s (blest) mother’ from Henry.
The word ‘ass’ was first published as a swear word in the Oxford English Dictionary way back in 1955 and since then, vituperative words seem to have had no looking back, so to say.
What’s sad to hear is one of the most offensive cuss words around the world being touted as a youth anthem in our nation, in the name of being a trendy laugh! Now ,that certainly is not funny.
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