Dilemmas of a Surti writer

The romance of Parle Point fell with the mini Eiffel that we Surtis prided ourselves in.

The Eiffel always was a soft corner for this writer who began penning’ Khoobsurat’three monsoons ago with’ if it’s Eiffel, it must be Parle Point”.

Over the weeks that have flown by, the response from fellow Surtis has been overwhelming and as entertaining as we all are notoriously famous for.

My siblings and I grew up in a home that had a vast library which ranged from Blyton to Gibran. My parents, fond readers themselves, believe in education from the quality of reads, more than institutions.Hence, learning literally began at home, even as my mother aspired aloud (as all mothers do) “paper maan aave evu naam karjo”, and well her wishes came true, in a way.

Today’s Khoobsurat is about sharing the queries that came in from all of you.

The Glamour-
Pretty Neighbor-Oh! Did YOU write on the Eiffel today? Journalists are paid very badly, you know?

At a party-Why do they only run your photograph and no other writer’s? Oh, you are a columnist? So, special treatment?

Via e-mail-Hiiiiiiii! Will you do frensip?

School senior –I also write, on how dirty and corrupt the bahumali is, they never run what I send. Whom did you send your article to?

Sister from USA over phone-Girl, you should always get your hair done before taking a photo! Change your photo please.

Via SMS-aapse bhi KHOOBSURAT aapke andaaz hai!

At a restaurant-Aren’t you the person who writes Khoobsurat? Your photo size changes with every article

Father-Your face looks like a weather balloon. Does Khoob-surat mean ‘lots of face”? Writing and all is fine but you are too intelligent to not do something about your weight.

Reader-I file all your articles, do you?

Husband-Where is your mind?

The Gumption

Friends-How much can you write about Surat?

Readers-Why do you write only about Surat?

Visitors-You write so much, about Surat?

Maternal grand mother-You haven’t written enough about Surat, have you?

Via email-Now that you have written about kitly tea, when will you cover the coffee hotspots?

Via sms –Can you write about khaman and dhokla and fafda and marcha with the recipes also?

Via –email-I went and ate all that you wrote in your column and put on 2 kilos in two weeks.

Via email-We are lucky to know about historical culture of town can you write more days of the week?

Via phone call-Can I meet you?

Via email-I also write, where did you learn to write?

At a kiosk-Have you written about these vada pavs yet?

Strangers-What are the advertising rates? Are there discounts for obituaries?

Friends-How could you write this about us?

Friends-How could you not write this about us?

Strangers-Will you write this about us?

Spouse-Which world do you live in?

The Guts-

Via email-Can you write more about alcohol and dry state.

Via SMS-Don’t you think you write too much about alcohol in a dry state?

I was born a Patel, but as the name up there suggests, have a boisterous fun loving Punjabi ma in law who has a social circle equal to the population of Australia. Ever so often whenever she drops in, she inadvertently finds me with my head huddled into the puter.
” Ki kardi pay hai? Jado dikho likhdi padhdi hai” she remarks fondly (what are you doing? always reading or writing) “Kinne paise mildey ne enni mehnat de?”(How much do they pay you for all this hard work?)
As I dig my head even lower in the lap top and mumble my meager means as a writer,she is shocked and says,”Hai! Enne paise mein ki honnda hai aaj kal, chad parey, chal bahar nikal, kitty join Karle!”(What happens with such little money these days? leave all this and come join a kitty).

Mr. Khurana-Do you have ANY clue about what’s going on in the house?????????????

The Glory-

Readers-Your column make us laugh and learn.

“Your column today, touched our hearts and we cried it out.”