SALIENT FEATURES OF FIFA 2010

As the FIFA fervor has now bid us adieu and the war of words between overdressed saas-bahu serials will return to family drawing rooms, it will sadly be time for some predictable monotonous drama once again.

Surtis who love to comment while watching stuff whether it’s the television screen or the silverscreen, will be silenced by the ‘dukhi atmas’ of the idiot box who always seem to be in doldrums.

Here are some salient features of FIFA 2010, as pointed out by Surtis around Tapi town, in random order-

“Vuvu jhela”

“Watte ae sott”

“First time any host country has been eliminated in the first round.”

“Aa who karey chey? (What are you doing?)”

“Oh pelaa Nicholas Anelka ne suspense kari nakhyo!”(The said player was suspended)

“I love David Beckham; hope they show more of him.”

“Maar, maar o jaldi maaaaaaar!”(Hit, hit o hit it quickly!)

“Vuvuzelas are horny trumpets”

“This is not a gentleman’s game.”

“Aa Drogba ni hairstyle haari chey, holvij na padey! (Drogba’s hairstyle is cool, needs no combing)

“O maar!........benna!@# %$&*()!!!!! Aa baaju thee marvanu hatu (errr……you should have hit it from this side)

“Where are the cheerleaders?”

“May we watch India-Bangladesh, Asia cup match?”

“Ricardo Izecson dos Santo Leite-Aa bhai nu naam kaka chey te haaru chey (good he is called kaka)

‘Jabulani’- koi Sindhi bhai ae ball banvyo chey? (Has some Sindhi brother manufactured it?)-

“Farigayo, farigayo aakho farigayo” (the ball has fully turned around)

“Brazil was the only country to have played in every world cup final till now”

“Vuvuzelas have been banned in the Wimbledon”

“Brazil nu crowd bau fine chey, nai?”(Brazilian crowd is very good, no?)

“Aa Paul punter laagey che” (Paul looks like a better)

“Don’t forget, official mascot was Zakumi-the green and yellow leapord.”

“Ronaldo is sooooooo cute!”

“My favourite part is when they exchange tees at the end.”

“So, they have never had cheerleaders?”

“Gonzalo Higuain ae tron marya” (hat trick)

“You think Dhoni’s boys must have beat Bangladesh?”

“Aa Denmark no Daniel Agger patli badlu niklo! (Has changed sides)

“Su mast disco jevo national anthem chey! (Their national anthem sounds like disco music.)

“Bet that Joachim Loew lost his baggage.”

“Paul is an octopus vulgaris.”

“Klose patigayo, red card maligayo.”(Klose is finished, has been given a red card)

“I was supposed to travel to South Africa but I don’t want to miss the Asia cup finals.”

“You think they might think about having cheerleaders in the future, if everybody insists?”

“Vuvuzelas above 100 decibels have a Saudi fatwa against them and are banned in the UAE.”

“We should hire Paul to predict Indo-Pak matches.”

“Bhaag, jaldi bhaaaaag “(run, run fast)!

“!@%$#^&&%&*()_+&&^%$$!!!!!!(BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP)

“England’s football team is as over rated as Indian cricket team.”

“Soneri boot koney makshey?”(Who will get the golden boot?)

“Maximum goals were saved by the crossbar this year.”

“Sigh! Good bye Villa”

“How I wish Paraguay had won, at least there would have been one cheerleader!”