KITLY KINGS OF TAPI TOWN............
As the monsoon unleashes it magical and musical powers, Surat seems to have come alive in a different kind of glory. What began last week as a drifting yet drenching drizzle, was supported by a mynah rhapsody, accompanied with an orchestra of thunder and lightning.

One thing that stays closer to the lips of Surtis during the season of showers is cutting chai. Vapours of the brew arouse the senses, from nameless kiosks that keep Lalas and labourers refreshed through the day.

While Twinings makes wonderful flavours of tea, Surti chai is one that has a whole load of different flavours in a single brew itself, ginger, lemon grass, mint, saffron, cardamom ,clove etc.
Other than the Chamunda chain, here are a few of Tapi town’s popular, Patiala peg kitly joints that have a distinct ambience of their own.

Walk the talk-Surat’s sporty lot, daily gathers in their shorts and sneakers outside M.T.B College, Chowpatty, for a kitly session, to discuss health issues and headlines for the day. As they check out the eye candy that whizzes by in the wee hours. This roadside joint makes mild, cardamom flavoured chai that’s just right to kick start a busy day.

Kid tea party-The City light area has a tea kiosk near ‘sweet home’ store that caters to mommies who come to see off their school going kids at the bus stop. Strong, ’cheeni kum’, no nonsense tea cups in disposable plastic are shared by lalarinas as they discuss important issues like maid menace and calorie control.

Mazdoor union zindabad- Across the Tapi, just outside the gates of Jal Bhavan, Adajan, is a busy tea stall that makes milky mint chai for labourers who are set to slog for the day ahead. Tea here is served in thick chai glasses, with chinaware saucers; in case you wish to slurp on the steamy delight.

Kitly queen Jane Austen-Next to’ Book world ‘at Kanaknidhi, is a tea stall that makes a mean shot of ‘kadak kawah ‘, which you can sip as you browse books of English literature. The tea here warms the cockles of the heart even as you lose yourself in the Victorian world of Rosenthal tea sets.

Roadside romance in rains-Easily the most cosy place for tea for 2 and even has a name that swears by that, is ‘Priyam’at Timalyawaad .Tucked away in the by lane of Kailash sweetmeats, the USP of its tea is the twig of fresh mint that accompanies the serve. Its flavour has retained relishers to become regulars.

Dhandhey pey dhyan do-The bubbly, syrupy masala chai, sold in thermo cups at Ashok pan house, Ring road, textile market, is a foamy delight. Sipped over a chatter of, ‘sattar-adsath ‘, stocks, ‘cheendhi cut piece’, this is easily, one kitly that keeps steaming with news.
Little wonder then, that cutting chai experience in Surat is, as Surtis put it,’chai karta kitly garam.’


Tapi town tattle-What did Sheetal Mafatlal try to convince airport authorities in vain? All that glitters is old!

RENAISSANCE OF NARMAD NAGARI......
I have been blessed with a daughter who will turn 16 this October. Last fortnight has made her wiser but made me even more so. I belong to that generation of parents in Tapi town who educated themselves in parenthood to raise their children.

We know Dr. Spock’s guidelines like the back of our hands, we figured out and followed vaccination schedules smoothly, we pronounced phonics to help them to spell better, and we make sure we give the best possible exposure of music, books and art to our kids.

We also understood what Kahlil Gibran meant when he wrote,’ you may give your children your love but not your thoughts; for they have their own, you may house their bodies but not their souls, for, their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday. ‘

So, In the process of raising them we too learnt. Social networking means being net savvy, writing skills meant speedy sms, colour combination meant purple and yellow nailpolish, noodle and spaghetti meant clothes not food, food is something that comes in a box, delivered piping hot in 30 minutes. In short we learnt to,’chill the pep’ and we thought we were doing a pretty good job with parenting.
Then, this summer, Surat witnessed the heat of a different kind of dilemma.

Murder and gang rapes was something that happened in reel life during our growing up years, but our children have had to face this harsh reality in real life, right in their neighbourhoods! To make matters worse, these crimes were committed by the youth.

Surti parents who always knew what was right for their children were left totally clueless as to how to handle this situation. As panic replaced shock and our elders did what they do best, gave us a lesson or two in,’how much freedom is too much freedom’, ‘don’t clip their wings,give them the strength of more love’, we knew deep down in was time for introspection.

We grew up in this town where Ghoddod road meant bicycle racing, Rander meant’ Ponk and Hollywood movies,’ ’Varachha meant going to watch the circus,’Chowpatty meant garden and stationary’,’ various sheris meant’ Ganpati and Navratri’ and Dumas meant Beach and Picnic.
Our children on the other hand might know these very areas as places for underage driving, lover hotspots, bootlegging, pollution, black money, organised crimes etc.

These are issues that we Surtis have to deal with ourselves, if we seek a better future for our kids.

We belong to the city of veer kavi Narmad known as,’arvachino ma aadya’ [first amongst the modern].Known for modernity, romanticism, he was revolutionary in the field of social reforms for removing ills from the society.

Even as he painfully penned ‘aa te shu tuj haal Surat’,so also he wrote,’vaank nathi kai tuj,vaank toh disha tano re,asamani aafat tethi aa rol banyo re,Tapi dakshin tatey, Surat muj ghayal bhoomi,maney ghanu abhimaan ,bhoy mey taari chumi.’

Let’s turn our town as he called it-Surat sona ni murat.

VICTIM TO VICTOR-SALUTE TO SURTI VALOUR....................
Pessimists would say that whensoever our town makes it to the national news headlines, it is inadvertently for the wrong reasons. Be it plague, floods or the heinous, audacious sexual assault on a minor, last Friday.
True blue Surtis on the other hand, however, will look right back into the eye of pessimists and answer, that we Surtis are valiant enough to turn around the worst situation and come out ,shining as victors. After the plague we went on to become one of India’s cleanest city, after the floods, we emerged as the fastest growing city in the world. After initial shock, numbness and anger post the dastardly, cowardly act of three of the most inhuman, spineless monsters, denizens of Tapi town have decided enough is enough and pledged to make it the safest town in the world.

If there is one family that our town owes to and owes it big time, it is the stalwarts who have shown great valour to bring the culprits to book. In a situation where most others would have spent all savings to hush up the state of affairs, these brave Surtis took a small, tough step towards justice and a giant step towards the benefit of all citizens.

Look how the intrepid action of this fearless family, turned things around. The scheming scoundrels had threatened in the name of law, now that very law is on the side of their prey, the impudent idiots had scared to blackmail with an electronic tool, now that very clipping is the weapon against them; the rapacious rascals thought this was about power play, now they grovel for cover, trembling in terror.

Never has Surat bared its fangs more angrily than it has in the past few days. We might be famous for our ‘chalya karey’’attitude but try and rub us the wrong way and you have had it. Surtis are proud of their town and their culture, they have good faith in their children and they treat the city as their extended home. If the lawmakers cannot provide that safety to the citizens, it’s a shame on them.

A word here to people who pass callous statements to sensationalize the incident, shut your eyes and imagine your daughter/sister there that should be enough to shut you up.

A request here to the politicians, from the public that elects them; kindly leave out trying to assault our sensibilities by trying to politicise this issue. Surtis stand united as one against these unpardonable criminals.

A demand here from the judicial system, let law take its course, but we want justice and we want it fast.

A gentle, tender message to the daughter of Tapi town-
Dearest child,
Bravo! We Surtis salute you. Had it not been for the strength you have shown, many more children would have been harmed. We are so proud of you. There was a time when we grew up here, carefree and dauntless, that changed with time, unfortunately, but your fearless footsteps will now once again make sure that Surat is a safe haven and no ugly men with uglier minds can ever change that. Whatever happened was NOT your fault. Do not let it crush your spirit, ever. You are our pride. Hold your head high and take good care of yourself. Peace be with you and your family, always.

AROUND THE WORLD IN SURTI WAYS................
May,the month of mayhem-travel,exam results and mangoes has finally ended.Surtis who were away for most of it,are back.

Often ,I am told by many a migrant ,now settled in Tapi town ,that although they were not born here,they are now Surti to the core; since I sail in the same boat as them,I nod my head in complete agreement.

Our town has this magical magnetism that draws you towards it. So,when does one actually know that one has turned into a complete Surti?well,here are a few pointers. I am sure all of you out there will have your own experiences to add on-

You know you are Surti ...............

When you are walking the Orchard road in Singapore with its fancy stores and window displays but wishing you were caught in the chaotic crowd at Ghodod road, with friends instead.

when you are in Australia,surrounded by foul mouths but you know more bad words than they do and can make them go red in the face once you start off.

When you are trudging the cobbled paths of Brussels but thinking of how its shaded pavements are not as cool as our by lanes, lined with Mughal,Hindu,Persian and Dutch architecture.

When you are listening to the gush of the Niagara falls but pining to hear the rain patter off the asbestos on old city rooftops in Gopipura.

When you are tucking in fish and chips while watching the change of guard at Buckingham but hoping you can have bhajiyas at Dumas soon,as you peep through the creepers at the hidden palace of the Nawab of Sachin.

When you are the Louvre watching the art over the ages as the guide describes it and you wonder what fabulous potential the rangoli gals of Maniyara sheri have.

When you are cruising the magnificent Nile yet wondering if the Tapi is going to be as dry as you last saw it or in the danger of overflowing again this monsoon.

When you are appreciating pearls in HongKong but are in doubt as they closely seem to resemble the ones you saw at Choksi bazaar.

When you are watching IPL in South Africa but wondering how your buddies in Textile market will be betting over it.

When you are being served hash browns and Pecan pie in Texas but pining for khaman locho and gharis instead.

When the Chinese are showing you some exotic silk and you smile to yourself thinking how easily Pandesara will make it' the next big thing.'

When Amsterdam is in full bloom with its tulips and you yearn for the fragrance of country roses grown in Sachin.

When Antwerp has a grand display of royal crowns under high security and you smirk how casually our diamond traders and angadias handle precious stones.

When you are looking at the finest modern architecture in Dubai but wonder what the real estate rates at Piplod and Silent zone have gone up to.

Bottom line is,it does not matter whether you are in Syria or Scotland,Mexico or Malaysia,truth is,Surtipanu never leaves you.

Everybody has some place they call home,for Tapi towners,it will always be Surat.
Tapi town tattle-Other than ciggy packets ,what else should be printed with 'scorpian 'signs? Surti chimneys!

FOREIGN LANGUAGE………..
Come summer and Surtis are set for either travel or training. While most Tapi towners take off for an annual leave to maternal homes or cooler surroundings, the ones that stay behind ,join classes to learn a new talent. Be it swimming, dances, music etc.classes around town are jam packed with enthusiasts- old and young. As is the case in other towns, grooming and language classes are also very popular in Surat.

Most metros have people who enroll to learn a foreign language like French, German or Spanish. Surat too, has a host of language courses to choose from, that are run by efficient and talented tutors. The most popular courses to learn a ‘foreign language’ in our town are easily the ‘English language classes’. Drive around Surti streets and one can find bold hoardings showing elderly bespectacled gentlemen pointing a firm finger[no pun intended] boldly stating,’ learn English in 70 hours’, ‘Spoken English classes’, 'Fluent English in 62 hours’.
Since these hoardings are at the most prominent places around town, they must be doing brisk business to afford the same. Crash courses to learn English do seem to be the order of the day, but that is not a new concept;Since the late 70’s ‘spoken English’ classes have been very popular with locals who cherished N.R.I dreams but had studied in the vernacular medium. These classes prepared them to apply and understand basic visa power needs and functioning in the land of uncle Sam or its neighboring countries.

Nowadays, English is learnt as part of ‘personality development.’Systematic worksheets are prepared in accordance to the course.’Business English’, ‘Student English’,’ English for good impression’, you name it they have it ,custom made to your needs. As easy as apple pie.But alas! It still remains as a talent learnt and not one that is used. As my pretty, professor friend states,’ in Surat, English is looked upon as a subject and not as a language of communication.’ Speak a straight sentence in English to any Surti and the first thing you will be questioned is,’tamey kyaa na cho?”

It is not as if Surtis do not speak in English, they do so, adapting it in their own way. Most also speak it with a lisp to sound stylish, for e.g.’dhress’for dress or ‘firsht’ for first and so on. Also Wren and Martin can go quiver their bones because Surtis have their own set of grammar,’ don’t fall my bag’,’ Are you Mrs?’Etc.Surtis also write and spell in a phonetic manner ,our municipal corporation has official direction signboards that read,'Narmad Laibrary'!

As has been the culture of Surtis, over the centuries, many languages have found their way into our lingo. We have adopted ‘badam’, ‘pista’,’narangi’,’tadbuj’,’bhet sogaad’,’naukri-dhandho’,nafo toto’,’naseebwaan’etc,words from Persian language,numerous ones like ‘tabelo’,batata’,’pao,’’pagar’,’chavi’from the Portuguese,’adalat’,’jamin’,’zilla’ etc.from the Arabic language. While these and many other foreign words got an official standing in the Gujarati language that Surtis speak as their own, English remains a distant, distinct out caste as such.

Shakespeare’s plays in India were first adapted and performed after being translated to Gujarati ,in Surat; they were done so by the Parsis. The British ship ‘Hector’ first sailed in, during 1608, in Surat, which was actually the ‘Gateway to India' then. English, however, remains a ‘foreign language' here, till date.

Tapi town tattle-Who shook and took the hand of friendship to a 'Jai ho' victory? Slumdogs and millionaires!

SCENT OF A WOMAN -’SURTI SUGANDHIS’....................................
Ever since our very own Surti siren, Southie hottie Ms.Namitha Vankawala stated that Surat has the most beautiful women in the world, we Surtis now have more in common with Paris than just the Eiffel tower. In fact, we share more similarities with Paris, read on......

The French take their wine, cheese and chocolate very seriously, as do they their fragrance; constantly educating themselves on the finer points of these; Whilst Surat is well known for its ‘khaani-peeni’, it is also a place where one would find various shops that sell perfumes, attars and colognes.

Paris has been the world’s perfume capital since the days of the Versailles Royalty, essential oils and perfumes from the world over have been imported into Surat since the ancient times. Few know that within town, we have perfumeries that manufacture and even export basic perfume ingredients as well as exclusive attars.

Perfumes are a fruitful and serious business in Tapi town. The Bhagatalav area has a number of the oldest perfumeries in town. Known as ‘Sugandhi shops’, they also sell incense sticks along with fragrances. Attars are their main business. The ingredients for these come all the way from Kanoj, Lucknow and Kanpur. Herb and flower oil, sandalwood, fruit essence etc go into the making of these. Beautiful hand crafted antique glass bottles neatly laid out in rows or fancy display units hold exotic looking, heady fragrances that have unisex appeal.

Sold in roll on vials of 5, 7.5 and 10 mls. These concentrates last much beyond other scents that usually tend to evaporate in temperatures above 40 degrees. Attars like perfumes should be worn according to the colour of your outfit, to enhance their appeal. While one has to maintain a distance of 4-6 inches while spraying on perfume, Attars can be applied at all pulse point and nape of the neck, small of the back to feel like Cleopatra, in the land of turiyapatra. Or better still, you could dab some on cotton balls and place them in your wardrobe.

Lest you think only French perfumes have exotic names, Surti shops offer,’Jannat-ul-firdaus’,’Meera’,’London Night’,’Oudh’,’Inter cool’,’Trio’ etc. Most of them ,claim the shop keepers ,are made to imitate popular imported perfumes, although I laughed off that possibility, I discovered one that smells exactly like Ralph Lauren’s- Polo Sport pour homme.

Romantic stories usually mention how the lover gets his amour the biggest, rarest perfume bottle from Paris to profess his love. Although not as subtle as French fragrances, these Surti Sugandhis fare just as well. Local shops especially the ones in Varaccha and Udhna have a horde of customers who buy perfume bottles, to please their beloved. A lot of shops in Tapi town sell duplicates with funny names and similar packaging of original fragrances. With the advent of malls and high street stores, some original perfumes are now available locally.

Although Chanel no.5 and Joy do not yet feature on Surti shelves, there is no dearth of choice in fragrances that one has in Surat, to suit any demand of the whiff and wallet.

Tapi town tattle-Which team is the biggest hit of IPL 2009? ‘The zoozoo team!’