DEAR BORED, EXAM STUDENTS.........
Wassup people? I know that creepy feeling is coming up again, just behind your neck like a dark, long shadow waiting to engulf your brains into blankness. Take a chill pill dudes and gals and take some time out to relax.

It’s not as bad as it seems you know, we have all been through this before. Your mom and dad too! But you know what? It was a lot easier for us. Our parents hardly knew which paper we had to appear for the next day, we did not spend 20 hours of studying, we did not have to worry about what clothes to wear for tuition and whether our stationary was passé or not.

We never had to think if our fancy mobiles had enough balance to chat with 26 best friends and then some more. We never had to bother uploading our i-pods to keep track of the new tracks. We definitely never spent anytime brooding over high protein and low carb meals. Nor did we ponder over tight tees and high heels

Life was pretty easy. We just needed to attend school and revise at home. The college cut off marks did not begin and end in 90’s.Our neighbours and uncles and aunts never sent any good luck cards or curiously inquired about preparations.

We did not have aptitude advisors; help lines to de stress or an unending television network to choose from in case we needed a break. We did not have sentimental parents who were worried more than us and whether or not we would score more than their best friend’s bright daughter did, the year before last.

School was fun; teachers were individuals we looked up to even though we often mimicked them, the Principal often a role model. We did have our share of fears and tears but that was while sports not study time. We never had to worry if the online 6.3version of our vistas laptop was unable to download important points. Our grammar lessons were not complicated with an extra sms language ‘wid d kinda lingo dat is a gr8 ‘shortcut to things we wanted to say.

It was very easy for us, no tempting coffee shops or burger joints to hang out in, no multiplex or bowling alleys to chill the pep in, definitely no hot set of wheels to zoom around town in .Most of you still have the same books that we studied and believe me, it is still not easy for us to read them. That’s probably because we are not as well read as you I mean we did not have chicken soup for the teenage soul series to choose from.

It must be really tough on all of you out there, to be saint like and distance yourself from all these worldly pleasures, to concentrate on unending dates, lines and chapters of something that you have probably already revised 50 times over from guide and model paper books.

But you know what, the good part is that within a few days, it will all be over and you may return to your world, one which you make worthy living in, in your own special way. Till then, just breeze through with your papers; give it your best shot because all of you are much more competent at multitasking than any of us ever were.

Good luck and God bless from an entire generation of people who would have loved to be in your shoes. ;).

CHAUTABAZAAR'S CHAOTIC CHARISMA...........
New York and Paris fashion magazines have reached a unanimous verdict that the only 'must have accessory 'for this Spring Summer's are chunky ,wooden bangles.Like those that our stunning Shilpa Shetty wore, while she asked you to, 'shut up and bounce'. Marc Jacobs has come out with an exclusive line of enamelled ones from $360 onwards, while Versace has gold plated ones that state the price on request.
If you are a fashion follower and want to know where to get your hands on something very similar, head for, hold your breath, Chautabazaar. Yes! before all you suburban socialites fall off your fancy chairs and wrinkle up your blackhead free noses, let me tell you the largest collection of hand painted,enamelled,frosted,metal plated and natural wooden chunky bangles is available ,cheaper by the dozen at our very own Mecca of maid fashion.
Hop into a CNG auto because parking space can be a killjoy to find. Get off at the Chetna restaurant curve, just by La Bella and walk down the slope that guides you into a catacomb of intersected streets. The first thing that strikes you about the place other than the typical, musty, walled city air are the vibgyor colours that happily call out to buyers. Unending rows of hand carts full of flip flops, children's clothes, women's lingerie, kerchiefs etc all hung up and around with vendors cheerily inviting to come and take a look. The backdrop is of matchbox like shops.
Don't miss the 'kharadi chimanlal'shop that sells brilliantly handcrafted wooden spatulas and kitchen accessories in sankheda and teakwood. Rolling pins, tongs, lemon squeezers etc all hung up with raw threads, you can pull down what you like. They also make the cutest little toys and cradles for kids to play with. Further down, on either side are rows of frilly garments and glittering gota patti saree ,chaniya cholis with an occasional jeweller, pearl smith, hand block printer [must watch], some fabulous lace and button shops and a couple of ones that sell DIY hobby ideas that teach you to make stuff like broaches, embroidered pictures, thermocal art, etc.Lahris sell glassware along with plastic kitchen strainers, combs and hair clips. The numerous stalls, that sell bangles and bindis are very popular; offering endless varieties of swarowski embellished, studded and multicoloured options. Handmade soap and oil shops and fresh gajra kiosks spread fragrance next to mothball and rat poison vendors.
Chauta bazaar area was earlier known as kapad bazaar. It is believed to be originally owned by the Brahmins of MotaMandir,the350 year old temple of Lord Krishna in a little lalji avtaar.The darshan of this 2 and a half inch idol can be sighted only with the help of binoculars from a distance of 25 to 30 feet,5 times a day. Many shops still pay rent of around Rs.25 to the temple authorities. Shops around Mota Mandir sell multicoloured, accessories for idols, little Velcro fitted skirts and sashes, pairs of stone eyes, golden crowns, diamante studded garlands that one can decorate the idols with. A few sell rare stone fossils and Rudraksh beads. The khadi bhandar here is frequented by Gandhians and offers incense sticks, kolhapuris, wooden curios with inlay work along with a variety of cloth. For foodie Surtis, farsan shops, freshly popped corn , sancha ice-cream, sugarcane juice, pickled fruit kiosks,sweetmeat stores and an ever busy south Indian food stall offer palate ticklers.
There is method in the madness here, and as the city bustles on the bridge above, the market below buzzes with bee-hive like activity.
Tapi town tattle- After the kyaa sabut hai? routine, Pakistan is on a new trip-Dhoondhtey reh jaogey!

GOLWAAD –HEARTH OF THE RANAS.............
If you have been wondering what the majestic statue of the great Rana Pratap atop Chetak, is doing at the Kotsafil road island; the reason it stands there is a tribute by a community that claims to be his descendants .Mythology states, in the ancient days, Rajputs of Mewada adopted the name ‘Gola’ meaning menial servant or slave to protect themselves from the fearsome God, Parshuram. Shiva their protector gave them a mortar and pestle [what they call khandi dasto] for rice pounding as a trade to make a livelihood. Till date, rice pounding in the community holds a sacred significance.
Little is known about them other than what is written in an unpublished Gujarati book ‘Surat no Prachin itihaas’ by Thakordas Dhansingh and ‘Politics of Surat-1850 -1924, by Douglas Haynes.
The community now calls itself the ‘Ranas’. In the 17th century, they basically functioned as rice pounders, tailors, washermen, basket makers and potters, selling their wares in the Sheris of Navapura. Their closest friends were the people of the Ghanchi community that consisted of the oil pressers, milk sellers and firewood traders.
Although they were allowed to worship at temples of the then prevalent upper caste Hindus, their non Brahmanic practice of meat eating, alcohol consumption and widow remarriage were often cited as a threat to local moral order by a certain section of priests. Their approach towards spoken language was often unsavoury and unruly invoking disdain and anxiety, but due to their business, they had ties with members of the Vaniya, Parsi and Daudi Bohra communities.
Around the 1860’s, the golas ventured into the trade of jari making. The art of drawing fine threadlike wires from real gold and silver bullions that were shipped in from the European markets .Members of the joint families provided labour with females and even children performing important tasks. The entire process was carried out within their homes itself.
Thus the cost of hiring non-family members was low and rare. Even when artisans did not have a sufficiently large family, persons from within the caste were appointed for the task and married to a sister or daughter of the family head. The Golwaad community since then has remained impenetrable and extremely self contained.
In 1953,D.R.Gadgil and R.K.Patil wrote a book on the ‘Gold and Silver thread industry’, which states by 1910, Surat became a leading manufacturer of both jari and Kinkhab [silk and gold cloth]; far surpassing Ahmedabad, Yeola, Poona, Delhi and Lahore in the trade, its only rival in competition was Benaras, with its master weavers. In 1930, the Golas with their cost cutting strategy managed near total control in the trade and their traditional occupation officially changed to jari making.
During the First World War, panic struck Surat markets, since it largely depended on trade with Europe. Import restrictions on precious metals meant trouble for the jari makers and traders who had to face skyrocketing prices of gold and silver. Though with passing time just a handful who deal in business of real jari making have survived; the clan has now shifted to making artificial jari and just like the days of yore, gives serious competition to Benaras by helping Surti weavers make synthetic Benarasi sarees.
A lot of the old, walled city areas like Store Sheri, Sidhhmata Sheri, and Wadifalia have now been taken over by them since these are areas close to Golwaad, -a place where till date; the Ranas celebrate each day with tradition of working from home and each evening in Surti spirit, with their favourite ritual of,’batli, dana and a game of cards’.
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-How did the Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward women greet Mutalik on V-day? ’Thong you very much!’

WHAT WOO MEN NEED, WHAT WOMEN WANT..........
Its V-day week and Tapi town has been seeing red [its love, not bankruptcy silly].All over Surat, you have in your face sign boards, posters, huge heart shaped bouquets, tiny heart shaped pizzas and pastries, an array of chocolates, perfumes and soft toys on display to tease and tempt lovers lest you forget 14th Feb. Jewellers and car companies are trying to teach gentlemen that a lady loves diamonds and fast cars. Fashion stores are promoting racy, lacy stuff to ignite passion.
For the metrosexual men, vanity is in vogue and salons for men are offering special prepping up packages where guys can have an ‘ouch on the couch’ experience with chocolate waxing, eyebrow threading, facials, manicure-pedicure so that they may put their best foot forward and impress.
Even after all this, men, like the learned philosopher Freud are still clueless about what women want. Although our P.M .and C.M. are not romantic; there is no reason you should not be.
Love happens; you can’t go looking for it. In a new love story, writer Paulo Coelho puts forth a theory for love- there are three kinds, Eros-which is the discovering the sentiment, Philos-which is the friendship element that keeps love going and Agape –the kind that is all consuming, so like our Pyaar,Ishq and Mohabbat. Whichever phase you are going through, you can always add more fun to it.
Maybe, there is a Mars and Venus theory, where most men often fantasize future of their love life while women linger in the memories of love. So, here are some dramatic ways to celebrate, that can make both these possible. The most romantic Hollywood film scenes; which you may enact in Surat; to make V-day ‘An affair to remember’, as long as our Eiffel is still intact.
1. ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’- Order in or don an apron and prepare for her, a breakfast in bed. Place it in a fancy tray with a fashion magazine she can browse through, as you spoon feed her.
2. ‘Shall we dance?’-Even if you have two left feet, enrol for salsa and tango lessons at a local dance class at Citylight or Ghodod, watch the passion soar.
3. ‘Message in a bottle’-hunt around the shanivaar bazaar area or old city market for an antique bottle, write a love note, seal with a cork and place where she will it discover by chance.
4. ‘Autumn in New York’-drive out to Palsana, Dumas or Adajan, and then under shady trees, leisurely jaywalk and talk.Dont forget to hold hands all the way.
5. ‘Captain Corelli’s mandolin’- croak like a frog? Never mind, learn her favourite song and render it out as you strum a mock guitar, in public.
6. ‘You’ve got mail’-Email or sms her a surprise date venue, meet her there directly and spend the day talking, at a coffee shop, buying flowers, fruits at the local market etc.
7. ‘Titanic’-Hire a boat by night on the Tapti; take her for a starlit, serene boat ride. Strike a pose.
8. ‘Gone with the wind’-Take a horse carriage ride, vintage style from Piplod to Dumas, look deep into her eyes as you tell her how much you love her, because that’s really all that a woman wants, from her woo man.
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-What happened to the fiery, Chand –Fiza love story? It fizzled out!

CHOWK TO CHANDNI CHOWK, CITY’S CHANGING CENTRES....
Ancient Chinese art of Feng Shui and Indian Vaastushastra state southwest as the direction of wealth and prosperity. Believers often cite South Mumbai and Singapore being prosperous for the same reason. Back home, our city has been changing its centre over the years and interestingly so, as it prospers, it’s heading South Westward.
During the days of yore, Chowk was the main city square. Roads from here, spread out to the Mughal caravan Sarai, to entry/exit points of the walled city, Katargaam darwaja, Lal darwaja, Delhi gate, Majuragate, and the only bridge over the Tapti then, Hope pul.Naginchand hall was home to Andrews library; also, a venue where plays like Shakespeare’s ‘taming of the shrew’ were enacted in their Gujarati adaptation, ’Firangi nathari thekaane avi’by a Parsi theatre group. Chowk Bazaar chaklo was the main market, Chautapul, Bhagal, Zhampa later developed as markets for trade, fruits, vegetables and jewellery.
The core area around the fort was inhabited by prosperous businessmen, officers of the governing body and their serving staff. The inner circumference , which consisted of the ‘puras’ Gopipura,Haripura,Salabatpura,Nanavat were the residential areas of the rich Vaniyas , Jains, money changers[nanavatis]and Parsis, then there were the ‘falias’Sonifalia,Wadifalia,etc.consisting of various traders and beyond these, the outer circumference of ‘waads’Golwaad,Bohra waad of the self contained ,Bohra,Gola communities.
Close by was the Asurbeg chaklo better known as Makkaipul [bridge to Mecca], a busy area during Akbar’s regime. The Navdi Ovara from here was the point from where the Hajjis boarded their ships for Mecca; Surat was known as’ bunder-e-khoobsurat’ [beautiful port]. Makkaipul has the main fish market, as well as oldest bakery in town, Dotiwala. Important roads from this point, later lead to newly developed destinations like the Rang Upvan amphitheatre, Gandhibaug, Dutch Garden and GPO and further on to’ Bahumali,’[multi-storeyed] the old court building.
Later, Athwagate turned the centre of a modern, newly emerging Surat.’Athwa’stands for the eighth gate of the walled city. This new Surat had in its vicinity Chowpatty garden, a swimming pool, the circuit house and residence quarters of the Police and government officers. It also had Athwa general store, a single unit stationary cum grocery shop that went on to become a household name in Surat. Schools and colleges started sprouting up too through Athwalines which ran south-westward.
With time, Parle Point and its high street shop culture took over.Bunglows and apartments here were much sought after. It became the Surti suburban dream destination. It had bigger roads, shops and homes than any other in town .Franchisee outlets of branded goods added to the market value .This area became the centre point for other suburbs such as Citylight, Ghodod, Maskati and the old Umra jakat [octroi] naka.
Present day, Piplod, Chandni Chowk, with its upcoming fancy apartments, gigantic temples, mall mania, multiplexes and better planned roads is the next heir to be crowned centre. Surtis on their Sunday trip to Dumas pass by here. This is the area that has the road which leads to the city airport, whose future shines bright in every Surti’s mind. And who knows, once that turns busy, we might just turn good old Dumas into Surat central someday.
It’s here where the Tapti, that runs by all of the afore mentioned places merges into the Arabian Sea, our city’s Southwest endpoint.
TAPI TOWN TATTLE-Talented India’s slums are good enough to turn producers’ millionaires and win Oscar nominations-Jai Ho!