British Punch: A Surti Concoction

BRITISH PUNCH: A SURTI CONCOCTION

You know from Eastern India came
The skill of making punch as did the name.
And as the name consists of letters five,
By five ingredients it is kept alive

It is a curious fact, not generally known, that Britain’s favourite alcoholic beverage – Punch, was stirred up in the English factory at Surat. The word itself is derived from the Hindustani word Palepunsche or Panch; meaning ‘five’ which were the number of ingredients that added up to prepare the spirit.

In an account of the English factors at Surat,in his book on ‘Early Records of the British Settlements in India’,J.Talsboy .Wheeler narrates how on Fridays ,after prayers, the President and a few friends met for the purpose of drinking to the health of their wives ,whom they had left in England.” Some made to their advantage of this meeting to get more than they could well carry away, though every man was at liberty to drink what he pleased, and to mix the arrack as he thought fit or to drink Palepuntz which is a drink consisting of aqua vitae,rose-water,juice of citrons, sugar and cinnamon.”

This recipe I give to thee,
Dear brother in the heat.
Take two of sour (lime let it be)
To one and a half of sweet,
Of old arrack pour three strong,
And add four parts of weak.
Then mix and drink. I do no wrong —
I know whereof I speak.

That the Brits found the heat and dust in India unbearable is no state secret. Besides, the locally available arrack was as traveler Bernier put it,” a drink very hot and penetrate, like the brandy made of corn in Poland.” Little wonder then, that diluting the arrack in the punch provided the high without heat to the English.” It (punch) acts as a drug, for, it cleanse the stomach, and dissipates the superfluous humours by a temperate heat particular to it.” wrote the traveler who highly approved of the decoction.

And if I get drunk, well, me money's me own
And them don't like me they can leave me alone
I'll chune me fiddle and I'll rosin me bow
And I'll be welcome wherever I go.


Another factor that made punch extremely popular was that it was affordable. As Philip Anderson states in,’The English in Western India’,”The soul of a feast which is good wine was to be found nowhere but in the Dutch and English factories. Usually imported from Shiraz or the Canaries it was available at six crowns a bottle.” On festive days, two common tables were laid out, one where the Governor and higher servants dined while the other was appointed to the English factors and writers, differing only in this, ’one had a great deal of punch and little wine and the other what wine you please, and a little punch” The finest arrack flowed in from Goa and Bengal and was best savored by diluting its strength in punch. During winter months, local toddy replaced arrack. Often, factors like Fryer carried brandy in a flask and diluted it with sherbets when invited to teetotaler dinners by the Surti moors.
What more diversion can a man desire?

Than to sit him down by an alehouse fire
Upon his knee a pretty wench
And upon the table a jug of punch


Tapi town was once tipple town and its taverns were popularly visited by English sailors. Anderson further writes,” Cases of poisoning were said to be frequent in these taverns. The rude manners of British seamen led them to use a freedom with the dark ladies. A rough kiss or an offensive piece of raillery would often result in the sailor paying penalty by his death. The black wench whose employment was to make that beloved mixture of arrack and punch would contrive in a subtle skillful manner to make the punch bowl fatal for the man who abused her, while his companions drank without the slightest injury to themselves.”

Punch was as popular with the Dutch as it was with the English. At Surat’s Dutch cemetery, there once existed a tomb with a huge punch bowl in stone on top. Made in the memory of a merry maker who wanted his friends to come drink and celebrate each time they visited his grave.

And when I'm dead and in my grave
No costly tombstone will I crave
Just lay me down in my native peat
With a jug of punch at my head and feet.

ORIGINAL SURTI OOMPH LA LA!

Original Surti Oomph La La!

Hollywood’s ultimate sweetheart Marilyn Monroe once observed,” The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.”

Bollywood’s cleavage kumaris on the other hand, have a heavier load to carry; they work hard to bust myths that women who expose skin and a little more other intimate stuff, need not know how to act as well.

As women go ‘eeeyuw!’ in disgust and men drool oh la la in lust over Vidya Balan’s dirty pictures that have been in our faces since a month now, Surti Lalas are lamenting for a different reason altogether.

Ever since Lalas became aware that Balaji Film’s blasphemous yet famous upcoming flick has been ‘inspired’ by the late southern siren Silk Smitha, speculation has been rife in our man made textile markets as to how our Art silk nee Nylon Namithaa, would have been the best choice for the role, compared to Viscose Vidya.

Earlier this year, I had interviewed Vidya and she had opened her heart sharing girlie secrets saying,” Deep down I am actually just a simple Tam –Brahm girl who loves collecting jhumkis, removes her ayurvedic kaajal with desi ghee and lounges about in comfy Juicy Couture track pants when not shooting cinema, there is nothing over ambitious about me. ”

Consider this, an actor who had worked with Silk in the past pointed out to TOI that,"Vidya lacks oomph and looks nothing like Silk. Her physical attributes don't add up. Silk was dusky, she was slightly over 5 feet 7 inches tall; her eyes were big and when she did those sexy movements of licking her thick luscious lips and rolling her eyes up in a dreamy way, she gave men something to think about.”

Surat’s Namithaa on the other hand, fits the description of Silk‘s bill to a T. Other than being equally voluptuous, like Smitha, Namita hails from a small town yet has achieved superstar status on her own gutsy chutzpah and charm. Like Silk, she has successfully played the sultry seductress and flirty Savithri among other roles, wearing knotty blouses in Tamil, Telegu, Malayalam and Kannada films. In 2009, with her first Malyalam flick Black Stallion, she became ‘the most Googled Indian Actress’

From a plain Jane girl next door in Adajan, Namita Vankawala to Namithaa Kapoor the southern superstar for whom, fans have built an exclusive temple, was a journey accomplished by flaunting vital stats along with acting assets for a long run in the industry.

Tapi town’s veteran theatre personality, Kapil Dev Shukla , who trained Namita, an MTB College of Art’s student in dramatics reminisces how sincere she was, “She was under my tutelage from 1999 to 2004 and was a keen and quick learner with great potential. After winning Miss Surat, she acted in four plays for my company. She was extremely hard working and always came prepared with her dialogues, her diction was extremely clear. The first role she enacted was in my play ‘Priya Pappa’ and you may be surprised to know she played the character of a mother in it. ”

It took a lot of convincing to get Namita’s parents to allow her to participate for the 2001 Miss India title. In her own words, she came from “a very orthodox family where girls get married at the age of 19.” Her businessman father and homemaker mother were not too happy about their daughter joining the glamour industry. That year, Celina Jaitley won the title, Namita was the fourth runner up but, secured first position in the ‘viewer’s choice ‘category. Since 2002, she shed her inhibitions and catapulted to Tolly/ Kollywood queen status. Back home, if Namithaa were to walk Surti streets, few would recognize her, leave alone worship her, but this buxom babe has always maintained that it is Surat alone that strums the strings of her heart.

Surat dished out Bollywood’s very first sizzlers- Fatma Begum, Sultana, Shahzadi and Zubeida who set box-office cash counters jingling, sent censors in a tizzy and drove viewers crazy. Like them, Namitha has made it big on her own in alien territory on the mere basis of her original Surti oomph la la.