IPL-INFLUENCED, PROTESTING LALAS...........
Now that the poll fever has passed, Surtis are finding new ways to keep the topic alive till the results are out.
Pollsters are quoting what percentage of votes might have gone to the present ruling party, the opposition and the new entrants; as well as the important ‘others’ who will mingle in with either of the former parties later on, at their own whims and fancies.

If you are as confused as I am as to how on earth do they come to such exact conclusions about what the results will look like, percentage and all, here is what I think they do-
First of all, they select 8 different people from different walks of life to represent vote banks of various parties.

Like a rich businessman would vote for his benefit, while a mill labourer would vote for who benefited him [in official and unofficial ways].

Like a young first time voter, all set to practice his right for the very first time at the impressionable age of 18 ,on the other hand would be the ‘wise old man ‘a senior citizen who has seen many sarkars come and go.

Like a modern woman of the 21st century who would vote for the party that has promised more rights and equal benefits to all, while the distressed homemaker who is depressed with ever soaring prices would represent the other side of Women’s votes.

Like the rich religious leader whom followers treat like God who just has to whisper a word of whom to vote for, to represent the majority, as opposed to a poor, exploited under paid artisan who would represent a minority.

Then, the opinions of all these people would be taken by the polling agencies and fed into a computer along with the population that represents each; to come to a conclusion of the percentage of seats that will be won and also in which territories, so simple.

The other reason that has kept poll talks in charcha is the fact that despite the netas, newspapers and abhinetas having respectively made it important, simple and fashionable to vote this year, half of Tapi town failed to do so.

At social gatherings, citizens who do not have a tell tale mark on their finger are being asked why they did not vote.

Surtis are confused what to answer, I mean everyone now knows how to vote, so what do they say about why they did not press the blue button this year?

Luckily for them, they have now found an excuse. A small place called Velavi Faliyagam has come to their rescue. The villagers of this place stated that they boycotted the elections as a form of protest against absence of development.

Lalas now say since the IPL was shifted out of the country and their Indian idols, all cricketers have also not voted this year, they followed suit, as protest.

Sad that this influenced educated, intelligent Surtis more than the failing state of our neighbouring country’s democracy, to abstain from performing their democratic duty this year.

Tapi town tattle-What have Manmohanji and Advaniji requested Gujaratis?’Humey mut dijiye!”

SANTU RANGILI’S OPEN LETTER TO THE EDITOR....
Dear Sir,
Since your esteemed paper is running,’Dance of Democracy ‘as the theme for elections, I, as a representative of Gujarati theatre, would like to humbly present our effervescent Gujarati poetry to enhance it.
We hope to see our much loved netas dance on the same someday.

The next P.M. might be from Gujarat, but since he is not from the constituency that he is standing for, Advaniji might to sing this for his road show-‘Heee eliya ,heeee baaju,heeee bhaila [yodelling]Hun Amdavaad no rickshawalo, navso navvanu numberwalo, Amdavaad batavun chalo,Evi rickshaw haakun, hairatwaan mein uparwalo,Jyan mandir hoye tya jarur hoye koi boot chorwawalo.................’

Which reminds me, our presentP.M. can be given a slow song by Mohammed Rafi., since doctors have advised adequate rest,‘Kahu chu jawaani ne pachi vali jaa, ke ghardapan nu ghar maaru aavi gayu chey, mann ne na gamtu ghardapun nu dahpun, pun tan taaru sagpun bhulaavi rahyu chey.’

The graceful danseuse Mallika Sarabhai might go for Mehul Surti’s,’ude ude rey patang Gujarat no, mann ma umtey umang.

I hear Mr.Kashiram Rana is very sad and though he has not been given a ticket, he is still hopeful and would justify the song,’’diwaso judaai na jaay chhe, ey jaase jaroor milan sudhi, maro haath jhaali ne lai jashe mujh shatruoj swajan shudhi.'

Of course, we have special songs for the royal family of politics and keeping in mind the love that Kalawati, Mayawati and all the womenfolk have for the dear baba Rahul Gandhi our group would like to perform with him on Narsinh Mehta’s,’Jal kamal chhandi ja ne baala, swami amaro jaagshey, jaagshey, taney maarshey, maney baal hatya laagshey.’

For dearest Soniaji, I have chosen one from my own play which goes,’Bolo pa, ph, ba, bh, ma’.I think she will love it and learn well.

Of course, that just leaves our C.M., Mr.Modi, many of my friends believe he should be the P.M and when that happens someday, I think the most apt lines for him would be by the great poet of Gujarat-Wali Muhhammed Wali, who called himself Wali Gujarati and wrote ‘Dar Firaaq-e-Gujarat.Some of its translated lines read-‘Parting from Gujarat leaves thorns in my chest, my heart on fire pounds impatiently in my breast, what cure can heal the wound of living apart? The scimitar of exile has cut deep into my heart.......And thank God’s mercy Wali! He let that passion remain. The heart’s still anxious to catch a glimpse of my Gujarat again!
Yes, I think Mr.Modi would certainly feel like that, like Wali Gujarati did, on parting with Gujarat.

Respect and regards,
Santu Rangili.