Sunday, May 20, 2012

Ladies Vs Men With Mean Machines

Ladies Vs Men With Mean Machines


Apropos the luxury car frenzy that has taken Laladom by storm; no, tell me really, what is it?

The dictionary explains the word ‘vehicle’ as a means of conveyance that takes you from point A to point B. That could be your average BMW, but then again, it could also be a bicycle, or a bullock cart, no?

So then, whats all this honking fuss about, huh?

Do you think people judge you for the kind of person you are by the Mercedes you are seen in?

I mean, do these four wheel drive SUVs make you feel more towering?

Does that place the intellectual corporates in those boring sedans a little lower?



Robert Doisneau

So,if you have a BMW and your friends own a Skoda Superb or Laura or an optra by Chevrolet ,you are their big daddy,huh ?
What about the guy who has an Audi SUV but in a lesser priced model, what rung is he on?

And, according to that logic, does that mean that anyone who owns Bentleys is way above your league?

What about guys who don’t own any cars? Does that mean they are beyond competition?

How does one spell the name of your car again? Don’t know? Okay can you pronounce Volkswagen?

Doesn’t the word EMI actually translate to ‘living in borrowed heaven ‘?

Why do worry and ask about the mileage, petrol/diesel, when you are more than willing to chip out a fortune on your Land Rover?

And after spending all that indecent amount of money, why do you spend a whole load of more for a fancy number on its plate? Isn’t the Hulk of a car noticeable enough to have its distinct identity?

Why do you test drive models in maximum overdrive even as the salesman chews on his tie when you treat your own car as the most delicate darling on earth?

You tend to complaint that we mull way too much over our shopping then why do you take a lifetime before selecting ’the one’?

Why do spend lakhs of rupees on something that your polyester clothed chauffeur is going to drive?

Any clue whether your car is a front wheel, rear wheel or all wheel drive?

What makes a second hand celebrity owned car that has run more than 40,000 kms and has attended more parties and has been more photographed in its lifetime than you will ever be in yours more valuable than a brand new one that makes you feel like a star?

Does proximity to all things beautiful make you feel better about yourself?

What exactly do you mean when you drool,”What ae booty!”

Why do you forget your wife/girlfriend is a person and the car is a thing; not vice versa?

For those rare few who beg to differ from the question above; why on earth do you then comment on their backsides similarly?

You actually believe ‘aaja meri gaadi mein baithja’ is a great pick up line, don’t you?

What is so sexy about a huge, wide, room of a car that blocks and jams the entire traffic on Ghodod road at any time of the day?

What exactly are you hinting at when you ask for the one with ‘more leg space and spacious back’?

Does the big car’s engine seem to increase your horsepower vroom, you think?

What about the new ones that have an equally powerful engine as the Honda sedan in a more compact body like the Nissan Micra? Is it because Ranbir Kapoor advertises the latter?

Why is it that the smaller hatch back is presented to the women in the house as ‘ladies car’?

Why does your heart undergo a stress test every time your wife takes your car for a spin?

Why do you call the smartly designed small cars like Brio, a ‘tukda’ or ‘Hondi’, nickname Santro, Swift and Ritz as stunted growth and consider i10, nano and Zen as toys?

Why do company logos matter so much if all those like Jazz, Liva and Asta i20 are branded and priced equally?

Why do you cover your steering wheel in leopard print and turn the dashboard into a flashy wooden finish to instantly give away your identity?

With all your business sense, why do opt into investing in something that will instantly lose 20-30% of its market value the minute you drive it out of that showroom ?

You do know that if we spent that kind of amount, it would be on the kind of jewellery that would be custom made and one of its kind’s classic and that it would be an asset not a liability?

Wouldn’t a Vintage be a wiser buy?

What are you without your car?